1 00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:11,039 Unknown: All right. 2 00:00:11,309 --> 00:00:19,619 So, the first pillar, the first viewer, I would call giving and 3 00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:25,829 giving a mean map getting relationship should be first 4 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:30,629 based on giving, you need to give something to receive 5 00:00:30,629 --> 00:00:34,409 something, this is the loan universe. This is what law of 6 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:38,279 attraction is based on this is a common knowledge the more you 7 00:00:38,309 --> 00:00:43,499 give the more you get. So, in essence, many people make this 8 00:00:43,499 --> 00:00:49,649 mistake that, for example, they expect from their future partner 9 00:00:50,309 --> 00:00:54,809 in a relationship, they expect certain things right away. Like 10 00:00:54,809 --> 00:01:00,689 for our relationship to prosper for example, they think he To do 11 00:01:00,689 --> 00:01:03,959 this, and this and this, and he needs to give me this and he 12 00:01:03,959 --> 00:01:08,849 needs to do things like that.

Okay? So you see this whole 13 00:01:08,879 --> 00:01:12,809 attitude before you go to relationship. And many people 14 00:01:12,809 --> 00:01:13,319 have this 15 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,610 mindset that 16 00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:20,039 it's based on getting stuff from somebody. So it's basically 17 00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:23,069 they're not they're not whole, they're they're trying to do 18 00:01:23,069 --> 00:01:26,789 something they're trying to get something from somebody. And of 19 00:01:26,789 --> 00:01:31,649 course, bunch of expectations are born here. And one other 20 00:01:31,649 --> 00:01:37,979 person expect something from the relationship beforehand.

He did 21 00:01:37,979 --> 00:01:42,989 they basically creating this void inside of them artificially 22 00:01:43,289 --> 00:01:47,339 that they need to create, rather than just start giving and see 23 00:01:47,339 --> 00:01:53,159 what comes and accept anything that comes naturally. People 24 00:01:53,189 --> 00:01:56,819 tend to be really specific i want i want to get this from 25 00:01:56,819 --> 00:02:02,399 this guy. And it's really It's really hard to build 26 00:02:02,399 --> 00:02:07,499 relationships with this mindset. So this is the first pillar that 27 00:02:07,499 --> 00:02:11,339 you need to understand that relationship needs to be about 28 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:15,569 giving, you need to start giving first and then be ready to 29 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:20,429 receive back in any way possible. Don't be expecting a 30 00:02:21,089 --> 00:02:26,039 certain way of the person will be expressing themselves, just 31 00:02:26,039 --> 00:02:30,719 for you, specifically, when you ease yourself into relationship 32 00:02:30,719 --> 00:02:37,409 in this way, you kind of open yourself up to possibilities and 33 00:02:37,439 --> 00:02:43,199 suddenly everything that comes is accepted either neutrally or 34 00:02:43,199 --> 00:02:48,269 positively.

Okay, if you are on the other hand if you start 35 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:51,239 expecting something right away from the person, so from day 36 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:55,769 one, they will start disappointing. And what do you 37 00:02:55,769 --> 00:02:58,409 think is gonna happen half the year in the year two years and 38 00:02:58,409 --> 00:03:02,729 three years? This is how old The marriages are broken right now. 39 00:03:03,269 --> 00:03:08,519 Why? Because people have this certain idea of how they want 40 00:03:08,549 --> 00:03:14,069 their marriage to be. And it's totally based on what they need 41 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:18,059 to get from that apartment.

Nobody ever thinks that they 42 00:03:18,059 --> 00:03:21,749 need to actually give a while they need to actually work on 43 00:03:21,749 --> 00:03:26,969 the relationship also, it's a it's a two people job. It's 44 00:03:26,969 --> 00:03:28,019 always a teamwork. 45 00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:30,720 So, this is really 46 00:03:32,550 --> 00:03:36,870 this is really, really important topic. Okay. Also, when I when I 47 00:03:36,870 --> 00:03:38,310 want to tell you is 48 00:03:39,780 --> 00:03:42,540 about giving is not only about 49 00:03:43,409 --> 00:03:47,939 giving, it's also about receiving, that's another side 50 00:03:47,939 --> 00:03:54,629 of the coin. So, in order to do proper relationship, you need to 51 00:03:54,629 --> 00:03:57,719 also learn how to receive properly and what do I mean by 52 00:03:57,719 --> 00:04:03,569 that?

I mean, Receiving in a very specific way, when somebody 53 00:04:03,569 --> 00:04:07,979 does something for you in this relationship, which you don't 54 00:04:07,979 --> 00:04:12,599 expect, let's say, and you just stand there and just stare at 55 00:04:12,599 --> 00:04:13,079 them, like, 56 00:04:14,519 --> 00:04:16,889 what's happening, what's going on. 57 00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:20,400 And they're not getting exactly 58 00:04:20,399 --> 00:04:24,359 the reaction that they want from you, that they, they kind of 59 00:04:24,359 --> 00:04:27,989 start closing out from expressing themselves with you 60 00:04:28,019 --> 00:04:32,099 in this certain way. So, you need to learn to receive 61 00:04:32,129 --> 00:04:35,789 properly, you need to be grateful, for example, you need 62 00:04:35,789 --> 00:04:38,249 to express joy and happiness 63 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:40,199 means express your positive emotions 64 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,780 to kind of give a feedback, okay? 65 00:04:42,900 --> 00:04:46,890 It's a common mistake in many relationships that people don't 66 00:04:46,890 --> 00:04:51,240 really observe.

They don't know that they need to express their 67 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,570 feelings in a certain way. And I don't tell you, I'm not telling 68 00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:58,260 you to actually start expressing in a certain way No, but be 69 00:04:58,260 --> 00:05:02,280 conscious of what a person is. For you, if you see their 70 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:05,850 intention, their positive intention towards you, for 71 00:05:05,850 --> 00:05:09,030 example they're trying to make, make something nice for you, 72 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,960 give you some kind of gift, take care of you in some way be 73 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:18,390 generous to you. Anything positive, given feedback, it 74 00:05:18,390 --> 00:05:22,800 doesn't cost you anything but giving me back in preferably in 75 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,580 the way that they like the feedback received. And for that, 76 00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:29,010 of course, you need to have conversations.

You need to have 77 00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:30,450 some kind of 78 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,210 history with this person. Preferably you need to like 79 00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:37,710 observe them. I intend to spend what their needs are, how do 80 00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:40,950 they perceive the world what kind of love language they 81 00:05:40,950 --> 00:05:45,930 speak, because we all have all different languages that we 82 00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:51,840 speak some people receive and give love channel well towards 83 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:55,920 your to take care. Some people just want to feed you some 84 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,350 people want to invite you to noise some people want to 85 00:05:58,350 --> 00:06:01,830 entertain you Some people just want to hug you some people want 86 00:06:01,830 --> 00:06:05,880 to kiss here some things like really a lot of body contact and 87 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:10,140 stuff.

And there's so many ways, so many different ways. So you 88 00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:14,160 have to kind of observe what the other person's language is and 89 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,430 try to accommodate them in this way, trying to give them 90 00:06:17,430 --> 00:06:21,810 feedback in their way. So they understand that you appreciate 91 00:06:21,810 --> 00:06:25,980 what you're doing for them. Okay, so this is a really 92 00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:32,220 interesting topic here. You need to learn how to give and to 93 00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:38,730 learn how to receive, okay? And don't be Don't be getting upset.

94 00:06:38,820 --> 00:06:41,910 When you also give to a person who doesn't speak your language. 95 00:06:41,910 --> 00:06:45,330 Let's say you try to take care of them in a certain way. But 96 00:06:45,450 --> 00:06:49,110 then once you take care of them this way, they don't didn't 97 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:54,780 understand your language of love in this particular way. So you 98 00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:59,940 need to kind of try to express it more in their way and then 99 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,350 have conversations with them also about expressions about 100 00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:08,760 this languages. So they know that what you're doing is you're 101 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:14,820 doing out of love out of care for them out of basically trying 102 00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:16,710 to give them some more of your attention. 103 00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:20,550 So it's a constant 104 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:27,660 observation, it's constant working this way.

And one more 105 00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:34,380 thing I want to mention here is this interaction in this giving, 106 00:07:34,530 --> 00:07:42,330 it's based on also quality time, and some kind of rituals, let's 107 00:07:42,330 --> 00:07:46,440 say so many of these things. When you give something when you 108 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:51,720 receive something when you let's say you invite somebody every 109 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,940 Thursday to have a coffee 110 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,910 with them. This small 111 00:07:56,940 --> 00:08:01,650 rituals this consistent behavior to Words though consistent 112 00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:07,800 attention and attempts to build the relationship, even if it's 113 00:08:08,130 --> 00:08:09,870 not in their language, but 114 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,960 this consistency 115 00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:17,970 is perceived by another person and register by their mind even 116 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:22,950 subconsciously as as a sign of cooperation the sign of 117 00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:27,480 friendship sign of you wanting to build a relationship with 118 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:33,420 them.

So, these are things to keep in mind and to understand 119 00:08:33,420 --> 00:08:38,730 about the first field of the giving, receiving good. Okay, 120 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:44,070 so, to summarize, give more, don't expect anything back. 121 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:48,990 Learn how to receive and learn another person's language. As 122 00:08:48,990 --> 00:08:53,700 much as tell him or her about your language. Also, have this 123 00:08:54,060 --> 00:08:57,180 communication have this conversation, observe them to 124 00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:59,970 learn how to properly play this 125 00:09:01,979 --> 00:09:04,439 Okay, so let's go to the next one.