So now let's talk about how you can receive negative feedback and how you can deal with that, if there is if it's a feedback that is here to hurt you, or if it's really someone that is trying to give you feedback. So my first advice that I would like to give you is that when you receive feedback, and this one here is really important about emotional mastery. It means that when someone will give you feedback, sometimes they will try to make you react to what they say, or to make you angry or to make you feel bad. And what is really important is that you are in control of your emotions. It means that if someone gives you a feedback, and if it's really a shock for you, or you are angry, you are nervous, you can just thank the person for the feedback. And we just say that you will think about it before giving an answer or before stating your opinion on that.

It's something that can degrade because if you're really really emotional, you don't want to say things or do things that you will regret later. So you can use his emotional mastery here suggest about understanding that when you are emotional, you don't communicate as well as when you're calm, relaxed and confident. And sometimes people will try to hurt you with their feedback. And it's really important to have this emotional mastery. So relax. When someone gives you feedback.

I'd like you to fully relax and listen to them. You don't want to we want to avoid retaliation. Why is that? Because some people we just say, hey Alan, you are really nervous today. What are not Nevers, they say? You see, you are you are yelling, they will try to provoke you, so that you make a mistake, or they will try to provoke provoke you to have a behavior.

For example, they can say for example, you don't have patience. So the will will tell you You know what, aren't you never have patience. But I have patients, see you are yelling. So you don't want to answer right away. You want to hold back to just be calm and have this emotional mastery here. That's what I'm saying.

I'm saying that is really, really important. So let's discuss the two options here. If someone wants to hurt you, like their feedback is only to hurt you. There is one way to answer that. And it's basically you ignore it verbally and non verbally. Let's take this example from your from my personal life.

So I was just a group of friends. And I had someone that I didn't know that just came and said something really mean to me really mean like it was almost an insult. And this person said the insult and all my friends and everyone turns. It's nice just to see my reaction. And because the person that wanted to hurt me and to give this negative feedback, they wanted me to react. They wanted me to say oh my god and be off guard and really try to answer back and try to come from him.

And what I said, I ignored. I ignored and then I start talking again to the other person, I ignored the person. I ignored the comments. And the person was guarded, said, what the person didn't answer. And he lost. So you have to answer you have to ignore the person verbally and non verbally.

Because if you don't say something, it's great because you have ignored it. But you also must show the person that you will not hit but what the person said. So in that case, when the person insulted me, I had no physical reaction. And I did as it's as if I, I didn't hear it. So in that case, the person stopped. If the person would continue, I would just become assertive and use assertiveness techniques and say, Listen, I know that you are you are trying to give me negative feedback or trying to hurt me verbally, I don't think it's going to work.

So I encourage you to stop right now. Because you're just being mean to me and to all my friends. So you can decide that you continue staying with us, but you become nice, or you can leave. You see, it's about combining all the techniques in that moment in time. But what is important here is that if someone wants to hurt you, don't try to replicate and don't try to answer to their feedback to their negative feedback that is there to hurt you. Because they don't want to hear what you say they just want to destroy you.

And the best case is to ignore it, ignore it, and you will see that most people will stop because if they're like trying to hurt you, and giving you negative feedback, they want to make you react to them so that they can continue destroying you. So if you don't try react. They don't know how to act. So it's great. Now at work, sometimes you, I think that most of the time, you won't receive really feedback that is there to hurt you. If it's there to hurt you.

Maybe use your intuition to see if you can ignore it. Or if you can just address it with the person and use the assertiveness technique. Now, the second option here is if a boss or someone is really trying to give you feedback, how can you react to that? The first thing is to ask for clarification and precision. Because most people are awful at giving feedback. It means that they will just say, I just have to give you this feedback here.

Your work was not great. It's not precise. And so you can ask for clarification and precision to understand what about the work has to be improved. So always ask about clarification so that you can really understand the situation and the behavior that you did. That was great. So always ask for clarification.

You can say thank you because if someone wants to really give you a genuine feedback, you can thank them for giving us for for for giving you the opportunity to become a better person. So, if someone gives you a feedback that is really helpful, just a thank you. You can also explain why it happened. You can explain why you were not confident during the presentation. Maybe you can just explain that you didn't prepare well, or something has happened. But giving a reason about why you did that behavior that was not great.

Is is sometimes important, because then the person that is giving the feedback and understand why you did that. Take responsibility. It means that if someone gives you feedback about something that you did wrong, just take responsibility. If it was your fault, say it's my fault. Take 100% responsibility to what happened, you must take responsibility. Don't say Oh, it was the other person.

If it was the other person says you can you can say that if the other person if it was your fault, says you have to say that it's your fault. And then you can talk about the action steps to fix it. So for example, you are giving feedback, someone is giving you feedback. And you can say, Okay, I totally understand what you said, I know more about the feedback. So it's a little bit more precise. I told you why it happened.

I'm 100% responsible, and the action that they will be taking to fix it is 123. So that the person becomes happy because they gave you feedback to improve and you said it is your responsibility. You explained why it happened. And now you are showing them that you will improve this behavior or this this action that has to be improved. And he's on a Hear is also optional, but you can use in your head, I would like you to ask yourself this question, is the person qualified to give me the negative feedback? Is the do I want to change?

And does it happen often, because if you have someone that is not qualified to give you the feedback, don't take it seriously. That if the person doesn't know you and is judging you, and the person is giving, and they get your feedback, and you see that the person is not qualified to give you the feedback, ignore it. Don't take it into account. And the question is, like, do you want to change? Because they can give you a feedback on something that you like about yourself or about something that you don't want to change? So always have that in mind also.

And does it happen often, because if it just happened once, maybe it was just luck, or it was just bad luck. But if it was a behavior that's happened often, maybe it's something that you should take into account. So it's up to you to decide how you want to take this feedback. So that was it here how we can receive feedback, emotional mastery, you must be calm and confident, relaxed, avoid retaliation avoid, I would say, avoid answering immediately after, because they want you to react and they want to amplify these negative emotions. And if someone wants to hurt you ignore it verbally and non verbally. If someone is really trying to give you feedback, you can ask for clarification, precision, thank the person.

Explain why it happened. Take responsibility for it, explain the action steps to fix it. And ask yourself in your mind, is the person qualified to give me the feedback? Do I want to change and does it happen often? So now it's your turn to take this one here, and to think about a situation where someone gave you feedback, one time when they try to hurt you, and one time when they're trying to give you feedback. And I would like you to write down the answer that you gave.

And I would like you to write down a better answer a more assertive answer with these techniques here so that you can start implementing the techniques that I'm giving you.