So now let's talk about how you can speak up, how you can share your ideas, your opinions with people, how you can express what you want, how you can express how you feel, how you can express your needs, and your rights with people. So I will be sharing with you here the techniques that I use. And I will also be giving examples. But what I encourage you to do is to really think about how you can apply these tools and techniques to your situation. Do you have a situation at work where you would like to express yourself more to share your ideas, your opinions, and really think about how you can apply them to your situation. So let's start.

The first technique I would like to share with you here is empathy. Empathy means that you understand the other person's point of view. You understand, why the person did that you understand the other person's situation. You understand how the person sells, you try to understand their word. You try to understand where they come from and why they did, why or what they did. So an example of empathy could be if you would like to ask someone to do some extra work, you could just say, Hi, I understand that you have a lot to do.

But I would like to ask you to do this work because it's really important. Another thing it could be, understand that it's late, I understand that you have a meeting in five minutes, I understand that you are not sitting really well today. But I would like to ask you that. And you can see here that empathy would really help you when you will express what you want and when you will talk to people, because people will feel understood. So how to use empathy is that you just state the situation of the person, but it has to be relevant, and how can you know when it's relevant or not? It will be experience.

So for you, I would like just to use your social intuition and your your So shall I would say, your social, your social intuition, when you will be talking to someone. And you know that, for example, someone has a difficult situation, or you see that they want to leave or use, you see that they have some extra work to do you just say, I know that you have a lot to do. I know that we already discussed that the other day. I know that you already stated your opinion and what you wanted. But I would like to say that so use empathy. It's really powerful.

The other one here is emotional mastery. So emotional mastery means that you are in charge of your emotions. And something that you must be aware of is that if someone comes at you, and says something that makes you angry, or you are really nervous inside, or you really have negative emotions, instead of replying right away, and saying things or doing things that you will regret later, you could just say, Listen, I don't want to give you an answer. Now, I just want to take some time to relax and think about that. In here when you want to express yourself, if someone pressures you to give an answer, or they are being aggressive towards you can can just say, Listen, I want to take some some time to reflect, and to really analyze the situation. You don't need to answer right away.

Because if you're really emotional, you may say yes to often, or you may say things that you will regret later. So, we talked a little bit about that later. But really, I just wanted to show you here, the concept of emotional mastery to just master your emotions and don't act if you are feeling too nervous, because I'm sure that you have already felt angry, and you said things or did things to people that you regret later. So this is here. When you express yourself, you must take care of your emotions and that's really important. When you will express yourself, I would like you to be calm and confident.

Don't be aggressive. Remember, aggressive means that you value your needs of other people have like you to have a calm and confident voice and you will communicate to people and you will be expressing your opinions, your ideas, stating what you want. In a calm and confident way, you will master your emotions and you will show them that you understand their point of view. The other part here is that when you will be sharing your ideas or your opinions, you will be communicating your preferences and maybe the other person will like it or not, but that's not in your control. What is in your control is that you communicate your preferences. You cannot control how the person will react.

But you can control how you share and how you express yourself, your ideas and your opinions. Also, when you express yourself Sometimes you have to express your boundaries and the consequences. So for example, here, if someone is making fun of you, and you're interacting with someone, let's say it's in your personal life and you are with people that you meet in a bar, and they're making fun of you, you can just say, Okay, listen, I just would like you to respect me. If you make fun of me again, in the future, I will leave you have expressed your boundaries and the consequences. Another example, would be showing in a company or working in a company, and someone is not doing the work or they are constantly arriving late, and have already talked with that person so they know that they are doing something wrong, something that you could do that you could express yourself.

For example, you could use empathy, you could say, understand that you live really far away from your work. But what I would like you to do you communicate preferences is that you really arrive here on time, otherwise people will, or otherwise you will, you won't be able to attend the meetings and then you will miss some important important information. So next time that you arrive late, there will be some consequences. And you could use it like that, but it has to be framed in a way that the person really understands the consequences and the boundaries. Okay, so this one here is optional, but it's something that you can use. So just right now, with the information that I'm giving you here, I would like to to inspire you to just adapt, hear what I said to your case to your situation, and really think about how you can adapt that.

This one here is an important part when you will be stating what you want your opinions and your ideas. It's about talking in terms of benefits and how you will remove them You will always talk about the benefits that they we get and the pain that it will be removed. The benefits that it can be the benefits that they can get for something that they care, the benefits for relationship, the benefits for the company, the benefits for you, for me, and you will also you can also show them the thing that will be removed for something they care for a relationship for the company for you. For me, let's say that you want to share an idea. You could just say I totally understand your point of view. So it's empathy.

So you are calm and relaxed, you will communicate your preferences. I think that's maybe a better way to do it or a different way to do it. would be to do it like that like that like that. So that it can it can makes it so that it can make save time to the company. We can save some money and also So it really removes a lot of stress from people around us. You see, like everyone else, like every moment that you are sharing an opinion, and an idea, I would like you to have this framework or have, when I'm sharing something, I'm always showing the other person, that the benefits that they will get from my idea, and the thing that will be removed if they adopt my idea.

And this is really key here. So when you have so express yourself, and you would like to ask someone to do something, let's say that you would like to ask a coworker to come to a meeting. And they don't, are not really motivated. So you can say, and during the era, they have a lot of work, you can say, I understand that you have a lot of work. you communicate your preferences, but I would really like you to come with me to this meeting, so that you can understand how to do your work faster. Maybe save some time.

If it's a meeting, about time management, you have to make relevant for them, it has to be relevant for them. And they have to understand the benefits that they will get and the pain that will be removed. So it's really, really important here. So now I'd like to show you how you can show you ideas and opinions with examples and then express what you want and you need. So if you have to express your ideas, I would always start in my opinion, or I have an idea, in my opinion, and then you can use empathy. For example, you can use in my, for example, in my opinion, I would do something like that.

But I totally understand your point of view. The birth I totally understand your point of view is empathy. And then you have you must give a reason, because when you state your opinion, people want to know why. People want to have reasons so that they can understand better, if you just give your opinion and you don't understand why, most of the time, they don't understand why because they want to have a reason behind that. So always giving a reason is great. And remember, you talk in terms of benefits and in the cost that can be removed.

So for example, I am at a meeting, and they would like to state my opinion, what I would do is that, in my opinion, I think a different way to do that would be this way here. I totally understand your point of view. And I totally understand why you said that. So this empathy, I'm saying that because I saw the numbers last year, and this is what I noticed, bla bla bla bla bla bla bla. So in my opinion, it will help the company save $100,000 and at the same time, it will, it will help people become more productive and it will also remove a lot of stress. It will also remove a lot of costs, and, and blah, blah, blah.

And this is how you share your ideas and opinions. You can see here that the framework that I'm using here is really powerful. And you can use that even at home. It means that if you are with your your partner, and the they say you shouldn't go out tonight, and your opinion is that you should go out tonight. So what you can say that I, in my opinion, I really want to go out tonight, because I'm seeing this friend that I haven't seen in a long time. And for you, it's great because you can spend time alone the home and you can relax and you can maybe invite a friend over you can you can maybe take time for yourself.

And yeah, you know, like you talk in terms of benefits. And the person will understand to say, Oh, yeah, Maybe yes, maybe not. But if you don't really control this behavior, you control your behavior. When you are expressing ideas and opinions, now when you have to express what you want, and you need, I would like you to use these elements here. The name, the what the because the when, and you will thank you. And we'll talk in terms of benefits.

And in terms of costs. Let's say that you are at work, and you would like to ask your boss for some time off, or you would like to have a vacation on Thursday. So you could just say, Mr. Mr. Smith, I would like to ask you to have a vacation on Thursday, because I have this important thing in my life right now. So yeah, when it's on Thursday, would that be possible for you, and then you talk also in terms of benefits, and it costs so in this case here, I can talk about the benefits that this vacation will give you. You can You can talk about how you would feel about how you how you will be able to relax How would be able to do something that is important to you. And in this case, he I don't really see the cost that you could be removing.

Maybe you may be, you know, a cost that can be removed from this example. In that case right now, I don't really see. But I would like to just to have this framework here. Another example is like you would like someone to have a give you a report by 6pm. You can say, Mr. Smith, I would like you to give these reports by 6pm because tomorrow we have an important clients and the benefits that can be, for example, if it's an intern, you could tell you could tell the person and for you is great because you can have more experience, writing reports and the cost that can be removed is that if you Learn how to write reports. Now, later, you will have less work and you will become more effective and for companies create and talk in terms of costs that can be removed.

And then you say please, or Thank you. So you can see here, it's all about using this frame of here, using empathy. And just being nice to people friendly to people. You're not aggressive when you're talking to talking to people, you're just expressing your preferences in this framework. So now, I encourage you to think about your situation about how you could communicate with people. And at first, it can be difficult because you don't really know and you're not familiar with that.

But I would encourage you to write it down. So let's say that, for example, tomorrow, you would like to express what you want, and you need with two co workers, how would you frame it with this framework here? Let's say that tomorrow, you'd like to share your ideas. Europeans wish your coworkers what would you do? How would you say and you write it down, so that when the situation will present itself, you will be able to deal with that. Just to be clear here, you don't need to use all the elements, okay?

Sometimes you can just use this one here, this one here and this one here. And sometimes you can talk about benefits about the cost. Sometimes you can use empathy, sometimes, you can just use the name, the what the when, the because and the remove the, the benefits and the Thank you. And you can combine also elements. So that's what I that's the beauty of it is that you can combine but I would like you to develop your own style of communication and to take the elements that are here. And here.

Emotional mastery empathy, communication account in a confident way. set boundaries and consequences if necessary. communicate your preferences and talk in terms of benefits and pain. And the pain that can be removed for something to care for relationship for the company for you and for me, and this is how you can express yourself in the best way with the best communication tools.