The first step to good leadership and the first part of emotional intelligence is self awareness. Before you can lead anyone else you must lead yourself you've got to be the leader of yourself in a very good way. And you have to attune be attuned to your emotions and feelings and be able to channel them productively. Here is a four step formula of what you should do with your emotions and feelings in order to get the negative ones out and decrease their occurrence and increase the currents of the positive good feelings like enthusiasm for your work, enthusiasm, good positivity for excitement, energy towards your work and not the negative emotion. So let's say you get some negative emotion. You have to first of all, identify and acknowledge Step one is to identify and acknowledge that hey, I'm having this emotion right now.

And Let's say it's negative, let's say maybe you just got into an argument, it's negative, and you have to trace back the root cause. Okay? That part is easy. Okay, the trace. Sometimes it's easy. Sometimes it's not easy.

In case you had an argument just now it's easy, obviously, the argument. Now, I'm going to skip ahead to prop two, step four, and I'll get back to step three is if you had the argument in the argument, there are multiple trigger points, that could have been different than if you had a second chance. They could have been done different. Okay? Maybe you made a sound mistake. Maybe you said something wrong.

Maybe you didn't help some client the way they wanted to be helped. And the argument was that, hey, they expected something else. Those are all mental notes for you to take. And then problem solved so that this this kind of argument no longer happens in the future, and you take the appropriate steps to fix this. So that the pattern of the conversation you just had the has not happened, and you try other things. That's what is meant by problem solving.

Okay? You problem solve your root situation, so that it has a different outcome. And maybe you try another thing and another thing and maybe your immediate next tests, or experiments don't get you amazing results. But over time, if you experiment enough, you will start learning what's really working, what's not working. And not only that, you'll start to get a sense of what to look into what to research maybe, like better conflict resolution, better conversational skills, right, then then you can understand also how to improve your overall approach. And of course, getting back to point number three is part of problem solving.

Because you don't know what you don't know. It's really hard for us to see our blind spots. So you have to get feedback and advice from your sort of trusted group. Even better if you can get yourself to get feedback and advice from the person with whom you just had the argument, if that's possible, sometimes it's not possible. Sometimes it's a very good way to go. Because that can actually lead to reconciliation, you can become friendly again, or fix whatever was the problem if you think that kind of a mature approach where you're able to take negative feedback, possibly.

And so you see you identify, trace the root cause, and and figure out how to solve the root cause and change your behavior and change maybe influence the behavior of others so that this no longer happens to you and moving forward. You're going to be you're going to have that negative element of your life happen less and less and less and hopefully happen. You obviously can get rid of all negativity, but you can get it to happen at an almost negligible level in your life. That's the goal.