So let's get on to the six principles of likeability directly from Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, starting with number one, but before we jump into number one, I'd like to ask you, how can I be likable? Can you guess any of these six principles that makes someone likable? Well, first of all, as I mentioned in the last one right before this one, don't try to impress people why it's insincere, and people will see right through what you're trying to do. When we go through these likability principles. We always want to keep in mind, be real, Be true to yourself, be true to others. Don't fake it.
Don't try to impress people, instead, be genuine. And that's our word of today. Genuine as we get into this principle number one. Here's another question. Who are people most interested in? Who's the number one person you're interested in?
Most likely, that answer is me. Not me, your teacher but you the student, you are most interested in yourself. Think about it. How many times do you see people taking selfies? And what about you if you don't take selfies? What about pictures of you in groups?
If you look at a photograph of a group of people, and you're one of those persons, where do your eyes go to first? Naturally, you seek out yourself in that picture first. And then you look at others, I do it and you probably do it too. But that's okay. It's natural. So let's use this natural instinct to help us become more likeable.
Principle number one is become genuinely interested in other people, as I said, not faking it, but being genuine. But some of you might be asking this question, what if I don't like people? What if I just don't get along with people? What if I'm not a people person? Well If you think that you don't like people, or you find it difficult to genuinely like others, you have two choices. Number one, you can choose not to make an effort to be interested and hope it doesn't negatively affect relationships.
Good luck. or number two, make an effort and see what happens. Remember, it's our human nature to be social. We're social animals, we're social creatures. We work better in social situations, we have a natural tendency and desire to connect with other people. And later we'll see that that desire to connect with people is a component to happiness.
A Viennese psychologist named Alfred Adler once said something that sort of stuck with me and I want to share it with you. He said, quote, unquote, it is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such an dividuals that all human failures spring, let's revisit this quote and look at the two consequences of not liking your fellow person. Number one, those who don't like others have the greatest difficulty in life because we're social people, you need to be social and work with others. Along with that they also cause the greatest harm to others. Usually, this tends to be the people they're closest to family and friends.
Really, it's a tragedy when people don't get along with others. Just look in the news today, all the bad stuff you see and read about, there's an issue of liking your fellow person. So Let's all make an effort to genuinely be interested in others. And here's a little trick you can try when speaking to others when you're talking to someone else. look and listen for points of interest. Look for something that you think genuinely interest you, everybody probably will have some quality sometimes characteristic that you can identify with.
Once you start to look, you may be surprised about how unique and special each individual may be. The Roman poet named Publius Cyrus once said, we are interested in others when they are interested in us. And this holds true today. To be likeable, you want to show that you're interested in the other person when they pick up on your interest, they can't help but start to become interested in you, therefore, likability. So what can you do to be more genuinely interested in someone? Here?
Three things to keep in mind. Number one, make an effort to help others. It's one of the reasons we're here is to help our fellow person. What have you done recently, to help someone? What have you done in the past to help someone? How did that make you feel?
Usually we feel good about it. So keep in mind make an effort to help them Someone today and do things that require your time when you take the effort to take time out of your day, because they're only 24 hours in a day. And this is a resource you can't get back. When you give your time to someone, people feel more touched. They feel that you're being more genuine. It's not something as simple as money.
You're giving yourself to that person. So when you make an effort to help others, make sure it requires your time. And in doing so, make sure you're being unselfish. What goes around comes around, you might be surprised that as you help others, it has a way of coming back to you in ways you wouldn't expect in ways that you couldn't get otherwise. So Principle number one, become genuinely interested in others.