Asking your critical question

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Transcript

Well done, you have delivered your problem statements in the discussion and you've done it really quick, going straight to the point, giving the person no time to start being anxious and create some stories about what you're going to tell them. Because by the time they wonder what you're going to tell them, it's already done. They already know what you wanted to share. So this video is actually going to be really quick, because I want it to be representative of how it should be in the actual discussion. Very, very quick. What you want to do now is give space back to the person.

You took a lot of the discussion control so far, it was us saying I'm here to talk to you about something important and it was you describing your problem statements. So very much a one off discussion where you will tell the other person, your experience. It is now very much time for you to listen To the other person. And the way you do this is by simply introducing to them their opportunity to talk. So I would recommend the simple sentence that follows. So my question to you is, what are you going to do about this?

That's simple is just, you had a problem. This was the situation, this is how it felt. And you're just asking them, what are they going to do about this? If you have a situation where somebody is behaving in a manner that is impactful to you, you're asking them, and what are you going to do and change about this? Or, if you want, you can even say, so I'd like to know what you think about that. But I would rather introduce a sense of action into my question.

This is why I like what you're going to do about this. What you're going to do is much better than which you think, is you don't really want to hear their opinion. You really want to know how it's going to change If there's a behavior you want to change, it's not the time for you to just listen to all the reasons why this person was doing this. You really want to know how you get to a better place. So my question to you is, how can we move forward to a place where I no longer feel this way? How can we both adapt our style and behaviors so that we both get better so that this issue doesn't happen anymore?

You get the point. My question to you is, how can you learn this so quickly that you move to the next lesson, where I'm going to share with you how you can listen actively, to what the person is about to tell you. Let's go

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