Remember, you have two years in one mouth. So make sure that you listen really, really carefully to what the other person has to say. This may be actually quite difficult because they didn't have the training that you have the chance to do right now. So the way they express their situation, their experience might be quite judgmental on yourself. So hold on to your feelings and remember that you're here to improve your relationship with that person. Remember that they're human just like you.

And remember that the reason that you want to have this discussion is to solve your problem is not the time to let yourself down and getting angry or anxious and overriding all the great work you've done so far. So simply listen, listen respectfully. And remember that any judgment that is pushed on you, you can simply be at ease with it, because you know exactly what were the facts and how you felt about it. That's legitimate. So I just wanted to share a couple of techniques that you can use to really get to understand what the person needs. For example, generalizations are something that can be quite destructive in a discussion.

So if somebody tells you well, but it's because we always do this, or it's because I never had the chance to express myself. When this type of always or never words occur in a discussion, you can actually dig deeper by asking to express more clarity around us. So simply looking at the person in a question manner and say, always, or is it really never the case? Can you think of one time where it happens? And the person will have to readjust and say, Well, why it's not always but it's really really often. And it's already scaling down the importance and the impact of the situation.

And the scene that they're describing. So, remove generalizations by questioning them, always never or every these type of words, you can dig deeper, then you can also ask for more clarity. So if people say, well, but you know, it's just always the same. So there's the always, but there's also the fact that we don't know exactly what they're talking about. So if somebody tells you it's always the same, you can ask was the same as what? Or what is the same?

What is it you're talking about? What is it specifically? So asking the word specifically, is actually quite useful? So that you seek to understand better what the person is actually talking about, because you may make some assumptions which are very different than what they haven't. So make sure that when you can look for more precision More details, you can ask What do you mean specifically? So when they say, well, it's too difficult?

Well, if it's difficult compared to what? Or how difficult is it exactly? Or what makes it difficult? And what is difficult? So you can see that I can take any part of the sentence and actually deeper ask open question, make sure that you remain open to the discussion. So it's nothing that should be pushing the person to answer yes or no.

Like I said, is, well, what is difficult or what precisely is the same in this situation? what and how, and what precisely those are the right type of questions. Here in this moment, you're listening and you're listening by also probing the person and giving them A chance to really extract from their deep structure, the situation that they're experiencing. Now, you really understand what the person wanted to say, you had the chance to dig deeper. They know your problem. They know how you felt about it.

And they had the chance to also express how they're gonna react on it and what they're going to do about it. If they had something to say to you, they had a chance to say it and they felt really understood, because you were there asking questions that really show that you had a genuine interest to understand their position, their point of view, well done.