Pain and pleasure. Everything that we do in life is because we are avoiding pain or moving forward to pleasure. If you are continuing a pattern or behavior that you don't like, it's probably because you were linking more pain to stopping it than you are to continue it. And if there is something that you are not doing that you want to do, it's because you link more pain to doing it than not. Something that you can do is write down something that you want to change. Write down an unwanted behavior or pattern then underneath write down the desired outcome that you would rather have.

And here's some questions that you can ask yourself. One, what is the pain you associate with stopping the old pattern or behavior to what is the pleasure you have gotten from the behavior? Three, what is the pain that will happen if you do not stop the path? or behavior? Will pain happen if you don't stop? For what is the pleasure you will experience if you do stop the pattern and create the desired outcome?

Writing this stuff down is what is going to help you really look at what your behavior or pattern is causing in your life and everyone else