As a child, I was never the most enthusiastic of readers. And as a consequence, I could never later on as an adult, engage in conversations about meaningful childhood books. However, things change dramatically after the age of 19 when I discovered that books were indeed a powerful weapon of the mind, I had no other choice than to agree with Huxley and Kipling, when they said that words can be like x rays. And if you use them properly, they will go through anything you read, and you're pierced. And my all time favorite words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. But what does this have to do with love languages?

Well, everything. If you speak in words of affirmation, let's start from the premises that we all feel loved in different ways and that everybody likes hearing nice things. Although that might be true for most, some people find verbal affirmation most important and meaningful than the rest. That doesn't mean they're fishing for compliments or that they are the most insecure people on the planet. Far from it. It just means their primary love language is words of affirmation.

Such individuals feel the need to hear their partners communicate their thoughts loudly. And in writing. For a person who desires and thrives when they hear a compliment. taking out the trash or a hug won't cut it. For those who speak this love language, it's important to receive the following praise, compliments and support in the form of verbal reassurance. Before I go any further, I'd like to make a significant distinction.

Generally speaking, women need vocal recognition for who they are, which translate into compliments, whereas men prefer getting a knowledge for what they do. In other words, praise. Okay, so we've covered this aspect. The next step here is to give some specific examples. For a woman, it's not enough to say, Honey, thank you for doing the laundry, but rather, this dress brings out your eyes or complements your figure. And the man doesn't necessarily want to hear the typical, I love you.

But more something like you're such a caring and loving father or husband, or I'm grateful you provide for our family. Now that you know you should customize your words of affirmation. So let's move to other three things you can do in order to synchronize with your partner's love language. Firstly, minimize the bad and maximize the good. Ask yourself, what were the things that make me fall in love with him or her in the first place. identify those aspects and use them to pleasantly surprise your partner.

Send a text message leave a sticker on the fridge. Or if you're the romantical type, why not write a card or letter? Have you verbally recognized your loved ones worse? Excellent. Another recommendation for you is to make he or she feel special in public. Of course, I'm not advocating you shout on the street, nor am I encouraging you to write I love you on the sky.

No, what I'm suggesting is that you show you value your lover or spouse when you're going out with friends, or at a party, for instance, drop compliments or words of affirmation and see how their face will light up the room. The third thing on the menu is how to react when your partner is down or feels insecure. You Explain to get this person doesn't need patronizing or circus. So remarks like I told you not to push for that raise. Now look what happened. have no business here for one whose love language is words of affirmation.

They need honest reassurance, a positive attitude on your part and see that you're drawing attention on his or her area of competence rather than in competence. Below, you'll see a list of useful comments you can use so that you can tap into your partner's love language and thoughts be on the same page. For women. You're beautiful. In a world that is telling women so many things about appearance. This one is my absolute favorite.

Look how much our kids love you. You're doing a fantastic job. I love your smile. How are you so creative? You never cease to amaze me. You look really good in that hat.

I never stopped loving You. You're so smart. You're fun. You're incredible. I love the way you. I love you.

Thank you for your support. I thought about you today when men. That is my man, you're wonderful. Thank you for listening. I trust you completely. Thanks for fixing that.

How can I help? I love what you hear that. What the gentleman you are. Thanks for all your help around the house. I trust you with everything. You're incredible.

I love being with you. You're an amazing husband. I'm lucky to have you. You know exactly what I need. Hearing sweet words. sure is nice, isn't it?

But how do you react to them? Are you equally nice and vocal? Here are some tips on how to accept the formation such as sprays encouragement or compliments. So that the person giving them is comfortable to give more in the near future, say, Oh, thank you and smile or wink, give him or her a kiss. Say you made me feel special thank you. Or I'm really pleased you notice.

Thank you, or that's very encouraging Thank you. Give a hug as you thank them. In his book Chapman says that inside every person there is an emotional reservoir that is up with love and the person measures the fullness of that feeling by honestly answering the question, how much love do you feel? Here, the author opts for the scale from one to 10 representation. The whole love thing idea is similar to a pie chart if percentages are easier to understand. If your answer is let's say 70% out of 100% then that's how full your love tank is.

How to identify your partner's love tank is not full. One variant is to ask him or her the following question from a scale from one to 10. How full is your love tank? If it's less than 10, try not to get frustrated about it, and instead, ask what you can do to fill it up. Be genuinely curious in your approach, while concentrating on the aspects that brought you together. The second variant is to recognize your partner's emotional dissatisfaction, which for some is quite hard, but let me give you a hand with the next example.

You love your girlfriend but you speak a different love language. While her primary one is words of affirmation. Yours is physical touch, followed closely by receiving gifts. Basically, she smoothers the living daylights out of you, and that makes you happy. Let's say you've just got back from a business trip of sorts, and you've got her a beautiful set of eight earrings, you're 100% sure she will be impressed by how caring you are. However, the pretty picture in your head blows away in an instant.

When you open the door and see a girl who's upset you didn't call all day, not even a short text. Yeah, she needed to hear it or read it, that you miss her and that you'll be home soon. Don't make the same mistake. I did. Speak her love language is words of affirmation.