How to be more assertive while still gaining respect. Often, we are stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to our interactions with others. More specifically, we are often forced to choose between being assertive and standing up for ourselves and being nice. In other words, these two options often seem mutually exclusive. It seems as though being nice, often comes with the prerequisite that you should also be a pushover. This is something of a problem seeing as most of us want to be treated with respect and not become a human doormat.

But likewise, most of us also like to think of ourselves as nice decent people, and we don't want to cause anyone else undue harm or upset. In this presentation, we'll discuss how you can be assertive while at the same time Inspiring respect in others. Keep your cool. assertive is a good word because it's subtly different from aggressive or angry. When you are assertive, you are simply asserting yourself which broadly means you're stating what it is that you want or how you feel. This is different from being passive or inactive and letting things just happen to you.

But it's also different from being angry, aggressive, or explosive. When we lose our coolant, shout and rave, we actually come across as a little unhinged and certainly rattled. These reactions do not help us gain respect because they just make us seem out of control. Know what you want. In order to assert, you first need to know what it is that you wish to assert. In the first place.

In other words, if you're making some kind of point or you're putting the world to rights, then you better know exactly what it is that you're trying to say. Raging because you're unhappy with a situation makes you seem like a whiner or a crybaby. Instead, tell the person who has wronged you what you want, and what you expect them to do about it. Don't make excuses. A lot of people will tell you never to say sorry. That's a big commitment.

So I wouldn't necessarily go that far. But what I would say is that many of us say sorry, too much. And it can actually make us seem a little weak at times. Instead of apologizing, then be willing to ruffle a few feathers sometimes. Be fair, but be firm when you need to be