It's rehearsal time. I know some of you may think, oh, rehearsal. That seems contrived it almost seems inappropriate. This isn't some corporate sales speech where you're trying to nail it and rehearse. It seems artificial. Okay, fine.

But let's step back and really think what we're trying to do. We're trying to put a spotlight on this person's life and we want to do it the best way we can. You wouldn't dictate an obituary filled with spelling errors, typos, sentences that don't make sense. Send it to the newspaper and say run it as is don't edit it. You wouldn't do that you would refine it because you want to respect the life of the person whose past. All I'm asking you to do is essentially edit and refine the eulogy speech.

But a speech is not about typing things. This is not a PowerPoint. Please do not use PowerPoint. Unless you're using It exclusively for showing pictures or short video clips of the person's life. And it's not a bad idea. But that's, you don't have to do that you can just speak.

So here's what I want you to do. Get that single sheet of paper, get your notes. Let's get ready to rehearse all you don't have to go hire a TV crew. You don't have to spend money. You don't have to go down to the local television production company, just the sheet of paper and your cell phone. Talk to yourself phone if you have another family member who can hold it up or any other recording device, deliver the whole eulogy and watch it and then look at it again.

I don't mean to sound crass or make this sound like you're all worried about how you look. The focus is on the audience. Showing honor to the loved one who's passed away. That's why it's important for you to video record it because it may be that in an attempt to seem solemn in this occasion, you're speaking with such a low volume and low energy, people can't hear you. You're not honoring anyone with a eulogy if they can't hear you. And it may be that because you're tense, you're so low energy that it seems like you're bored by this.

That wouldn't be showing respect either. So I need you to watch the video. Now with the idea that you're trying to be Anthony Robbins or ronald reagan or bill it's not about being a world famous order. It's about are you simply communicating in those style you want the way you want in an understandable way. The messages you want to convey This person spotlighting the good things about this person that people will miss. That's it.

We're not trying to make a sale. We're not trying to get a check out of someone. We're just trying to put a spotlight on this person's life and put a positive context on things and do it in a way where the focus isn't on you. focus is on the person you're honoring. That's why you get the practice on video. Because if you're giving the eulogy, and the whole time you're doing this the audience isn't going to focus on what you're saying.

They're going to think up TJ have ants in his pants. Is he becoming a dancer something? It looks weird. You might not know that you were doing that. That's the beauty of video. It's not the same as looking at it.

Do not practice looking in a mirror 30 years ago, you might have said, Well, that's all I can do fine. But these days, everyone is surrounded by video cameras. Every computer has a webcam, iPads, have cameras, phones, have video cameras. Do not practice in a mirror. If you practice in a mirror, you know that my nose getting crooked that I lose more hair. don't practice looking in a mirror, practice on video, ideally, speaking to one other family member, or at least someone so you get used to talking to people and seeing the emotion in their eyes because when you see other people crying, I can bring up the emotions and you can make it harder for you to stay composed.

And it can make it more likely for you to cry. So, again, having a tear across or stopping once for a few seconds in the eulogies fine, but we don't want everything to crashing down, you have to walk off and you can't even deliver it because you lost composure. Practicing on video is going to help you so I need you to practice now. Watch it really great it make a list. What do you like about how you're doing? What do you not like?

If you're fidgeting with your ring finger the whole time and you just look nervous. That's gonna undercut people's focus on the person who's just passed away. So record yourself delivering the eulogy now do the best you can. Then watch it. Figure out everything you like. Everything you don't like