Can you think of a circumstance in your life where a relationship, a conflict, nasty exchange some kind of hurt caused you great stress? Well, if you're like me, you can think of all sorts of circumstances. In fact, there's a sense in which we experience stresses in our life that leads to distress if we don't respond properly on a daily basis, because life is hard. Someone has said, You know, I love the world. It's just people I can't stand. And that's the truth.

I remember some years ago when I was president of a graduate school, I was talking to our staff, our key executive team one day about the importance of service servicing the customer and meeting their needs and in the middle of my a dissertation on this. One of our key leaders came in and said, Hey, Ron, you've been talking about meeting the needs of our students and our stakeholders. And I just went into the bookstore and and the bookstore manager wasn't even talking to prospective new students. He was just pointing to things. He wouldn't even talk to them what even engage with them. So I got really angry, I got distressed.

That was my response to that stressful situation. So I got out of the meeting, and I marched down toward the bookstore and, and as I was ready to open up the door, my Senior Vice President of Operations, Colonel Gus Guth, opened the door and he said, Hey, hey, Ron, how you doing? I said, Oh, guest great. Hey, look at I'm going to go into the bookstore now. And because I'm going to speak to our bookstore manager, because he's not even talking anyone. I want you to come with me so you can hear it.

And he said, Well, before you do, there's something you should know. I said, What's that said? He has laryngitis. And I thought, oh no man, I was gonna ream this guy out for not talking because I was violating the three things you need to do if you're going to deal with people, people stress in a huge, stressful way, not a distressful way. That and that is you need to build people up in three areas, and I violated all three of those. Number one, you need to think thoughts that build people up.

That means you assume the best and what I just did done is assume the worst. So I was making an assumption based on poor data. Number two, you need to be sure you say things as speak people, build people up, not tear him down. So with your tongue, you need to build people up, not tear him down. That's how we use stressfully respond to to potentially distressful situations under stresses with people. And I was about ready to violate fat and I actually did by communicating inappropriate later or vice president, an assumption I had made that showed me to be the person who was off target, not our bookstore manager.

And then the third thing is you want to act in ways that build people up and not tear him down. And I was about ready to ream out this guy because I assumed the worst. I was going to say, things that tore him down, not build them up and falsely and then I was gonna do actions, trying to somehow punish him for what he was doing, because of a totally wrong assumption. Well, do you get those things? Say words that build people up, do it with your tongue, think thoughts that build people up and then be sure that you are doing things that build people up or you edify them. There's an old English word for for building people up and it just means like you build a building or buildings column edifice, so we need to be in the habit of edifying people, building up people And what I want to cover as we go forward in the course, that we're dealing with on the six keys to conquering stress is specifically under this area, how we build people up.

So I'm going to unpack each one of these, and various videos in the days to come and give you some tools and resources to help you be more effective. So I hope you can join me in our course, as we work through how to deal with stress with people in the right way by having a perspective that builds people up or edifies them and doesn't tear him down. So in the meantime, but you can be doing this thinking of those three things, thinking of stress, stresses you have now related to people and ask yourself, how are you doing it? A speaking in a way that builds people up thinking in a way that builds people up and then then doing things to build people up and do a little self reflection course if you like this, pass this on to some of your friends and we'll keep it Going deeper in this here are the days to come