Have you ever had someone who said something to you perhaps when you were young, that was just devastating to you? Maybe it was a sharp word. Maybe it was an insult. Maybe it was an inappropriate word, but they said something that's left a mark on your heart, your life, your soul. Well, most of us have had those things happen in our life. I remember when I I was singing in high school, I, we were performing the elite singing group in our big hall, and number of us were singing different solos and there was a crowd of students there and I sang my solo and afterwards, a guy I really admired is the best singer in our whole school.

Ran up to me and I thought it was gonna say Ron way to go and steady said Jensen yourself flat and it just crushed me I I felt so horrible I felt so embarrassed, ashamed and that that stayed with me. So that created in me a fear of singing, though I have a reasonably good voice and I've done a number of, of audios over the years of vocal vocally and led people in music over the years, but it really put a damper on my soul and spirit and really a fear of speak of singing in public. I have no fear of speaking in public but that one act created a fear of singing in public, and I think really thwarted some things that I wanted to be able to do until I got grips with that later on in my life. Well, there's power in the tongue.

I like what's said in the book of James, where it says that the tongue is like a spark, all you need is a little spark to start a huge fire, or the tongue is like the rudder of a ship. It's a small little instrument compared to the huge ship. But that little teeny rudder can lead a ship this way or that way your tongue can take you in a bad way or a good way in relationships and by way of your reputation. The tongue has great power, it can do incredible good and can do incredible devastation. And so I want you to understand how you can lift other people up by saying things that will build them up and not tear them down. There's a lot of comments in literature about the tongue of the power of the tongue, but I found the very best framework for that is written by the Apostle Paul in the book of Ephesians.

Again in the Bible, it's an incredibly rich tool when it comes to how we deal with people and We deal with our own lives. But in the book of Ephesians, it says this, do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what's helpful for building others according to their needs, that may benefit those or give grace to those who listen. Now, that's a great passage of scripture. But let me try to unpack that for you again. So when you speak, this is your grid when you speak, don't say anything that's unwholesome or unhelpful, and said, only saying, say things that will be helpful to others that will meet their need in the moment and give them power or grace or benefit to live a better richer life. Just think if you could live with those skills.

To simplify that, I want to encourage you when it comes to your tongue, to ask yourself three questions before you speak. Is it true? Is it really true? By that, I mean, and is what I'm saying, actually, the facts are my embellishing it. By the way, if you say you always or you never use those terms, that's really not true because it's likely that someone doesn't always do something or does it? Or you can't say they never do something.

So you want to be sure you're being truthful. Is it true? Is it kind when you speak, you want it to be kind, you want to meet the need of the moment, you want to give grace or power to the person to whom you're speaking. You want to give them value? You want to build them up, not tear him down, is it kind? Don't be mean about it be kind, and then is it necessary?

Do you really need to even open your mouth? There's a great wise proverb that says even a fool seems wise if he keeps his mouth shut. And oftentimes the best course is just to shut up and not say anything. But is it true? Is it kind is it necessary, so What I want you to do is to look at your life now and say, as you evaluate how you communicate with people, are there people in your life where you've said some things where you really knock them down? or hurt them?

If so, apologize for that. Go back and apologize. And then secondly, when you think about relationships you're having right now, I want you to think, again of that person you're dealing with where you may have the biggest challenges and simply say, am I saying things that are true and kind of necessary? In fact, for the next 24 hours, allow yourself not to say anything that doesn't fit that grid. Is it true? Is it kind is it necessary to start developing that skill so you can turn it into a habit?

You've got it. Now, in our Facebook page, talk about what you're learning throughout your questions, interact on the insights that are coming to play, because we Want to be growing together in these areas and then by all means help one another as they're growing and grappling with these same issues. So let's go look forward to the next session.