So let's talk about the second chapter. This is where couples kind of lose patience. I need answers I need fixes. This is where there is an essence. The theme is that I need answers. I'm running out of time, regardless of diagnosis.

It's women saying my body my fault. There is this time where in this chapter, there's some hope that that a diagnosis will finally tell us the answers and what is wrong and how do we fix the problem? It's also interesting couples that experienced unexplained infertility where that was their diagnosis. And there's a whole different set of thoughts that happen, because, wow, in one sense, good. There's nothing wrong in the other sense. Why is this happening?

We need answers. This didn't tell us anything. It doesn't explain what's happening to us. But in this chapter, we take on a label this doesn't mean you can't get treatment. It's not just people don't get treatment, but it's about the identity, the label in the way that identity becomes Personalized a way of being I had a woman tell me that in her when she went through the program, she actually described the two parallels of her life that were just literally paralyzed by the label and the identity she took on them first. And I think I shared this she described that everyday it was finding the fix.

And she described herself being in a jungle, cutting a path, not looking at anyone around her and cutting a path to find the answer. And how isolated she felt how determined how just focused she was. The other part of her life. She described all the things she wouldn't do in a given month, because what if I'm pregnant, and she talked about not going out for some drinks with my friends, I'm not going to go do particular exercise or training for something physically because it might be impacting I might not buy that car because what if we have multiples, and she talked about her leg being paralyzed and she said, I didn't realize to the degree in which this label became my identity in both facets of my life. That's all I really focused on. Now I need to live with who I am now, who am I now, and I'm not pregnant now.

Therefore, I must live. And it was incredible the self discovery work that she came out of it. So in this, it's about really challenging the label, it's about with the label, there's generally level of compliance. So when we all take on a label, whether that whatever that might be, there's certain things we do to comply to the label. And this is where the obsession and fixing and in trying to look to uncover everything in life can be robotic here become mechanical. It's where we start to have that anger that jealousy in this is where a lot of couples just lose so much time.

This is where quality of life diminished. And, and this is where the anger, the jealousy and the grief really starts to set it. So how do we help people in this area because this is where a lot of couples kind of come into the program for us. Well, it's we walk through this idea of becoming the patient and helping to really understand, and this is only work you can do, but we help facilitate it, how the label and diagnosis becomes a way of being, and how that potentially limits what is possible. And again, in our research, we saw all variations of labels. And label is not who you are.

It doesn't define you. It does not define your outcome, even though there's probably some statistic that most people have relative to the age or whatever diagnosis you might have had. It does not mean the end. It's understanding the label, it's then understanding the compliance that we have. It's learning how to have we are in treatment, how do we enhance it by paying attention and still trusting the intuition of ourselves in this joint intuition as a couple. So it doesn't mean we can't still do things, but it's trying to check in the place in which we're doing them from those intentions.

And then Experiencing side effects is our way of bringing awareness. So many people are just charging forward. And we're not stopping to understand how is this obsessive behavior in this pain, uncertainty in anger and grief disrupting your lives becoming a way of being that might not be the healthiest view. And again, it was through couples that made transformations, this area that had just outstanding outcomes, some natural conception, something that found their way through other means people who really started to look differently at their lives. And it actually looked at the struggle as a gift and looked at the struggle as the preparation and just came to such a profound change that many people look at this as something that is something they'll never forget, and it'll be something that helps them through life itself. So that's what we're trying to do in that chapter.

That's how we think here's those are a few things for you to think about. As you progress forward.