Now let's talk about the fear of approaching people. So let me ask you a question. Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to approach someone, but you didn't, because you felt this uncomfortable feeling in your stomach? Has it already happened to you, of course, because it happens to everyone. So it's called the fear of approaching. It's something that everyone has.

And some people have it to a certain extent, it means that some people are paralyzed by the fear of approaching, and some people have learned how to deal with it. So in this lecture, I would like to talk about the fear for poaching. And I'd like to share with you four techniques that you can use to decrease it, because you cannot remove it, but you can decrease it. So let's start with why do we have this fear? So let's imagine that thousands and thousands of years ago, I wasn't a tribe. So I wasn't a tribe and the group was protecting me.

They were giving Be food, and I was in a safe environment. And what would happen if I would get rejected? Basically, I would die because I couldn't survive. And nowadays, we still have that ingrained in our brain. It means that if we approach people, and we think that will get rejected, we think that we would die. I know that it's silly, but back in the days, it was useful to have this association.

If you get rejected from a group, we would die. But now, it's not serving us when we go to networking event and we want to network with high end clients. It's not serving us. So we have to take care of that and to really deal with that. So I'd like to share with you now the four techniques that you can use to decrease the sphere so that you can really dare to act and approach new people. The first technique I would like to share with you is to approach as soon as possible.

In other words, when you see the person that you would like to approach, I would like you to grow as soon as possible. When you have the intention of approaching someone, just go right away. Why? Because the more you wait, the more the field will build up. The more you wait, the more the steals will really prevent you from acting. So when you see someone, you go right away.

Now, I know that it's easy to say, but sometimes you may be stressed or you may be overthinking, and then you don't approach. So what happens if there is already there, you haven't approached it as soon as possible, what happens? So what you do is that it's not game over. So don't worry, what you do is that you just forget that you want to approach this person. So let's say that I arrive at a networking event. There is someone I want to approach and I can send I don't approach as soon as possible.

And their fees are already there and I cannot approach so what I will do is that I will just forget that I want to approach this person I would just forget and do something else. I will have a drink. I will talk with some So I would just do something else. And then my brain would forget that I have to approach this person. So the fear of approaching will decrease. And then what I will do is that I will just turn and I would teach, especially against the Oh, my intention is to approach this person now, and that would go right away, it will be really easier so that the fear doesn't have time to build up.

So next time that you see someone you want to approach go right away. The second technique I would like to share with you here is to think in terms of benefits. Because let's restrict that here with an example. Let's say that I have a box here. And in this box, there was a spider or a snake and something that you're really afraid of. And in the other box, there is a $10 bill.

Which box would you choose? You would say, Oh, I want the $10 bill box. Yes. It's easy. It's an easy choice. Why did you do that?

Because you wanted to go where the pleasure was. You wanted to run away from the pain. So that's the same thing when you want to approach someone, if you always look in terms of everything that you can lose from an interaction, because most people say, I don't want to approach because I can get rejected, people can perceive that I'm not good enough, people can make fun of me. And then I have all these negative associations and the focus on the negative things before approaching. And it's the same thing as choosing the box with the spider and with the snake. What you should do instead is add the benefits and ask yourself this question, what can I gain from this interaction, and it will be really easier for you, because your brain will see all the benefits that it has to approach and you will be it will be easier for you to approach and your fear of approaching will decrease.

For example, you at a networking event, the benefits could be that you could get a new client, you could get a raise, you could have a great conversation. You could network with someone that can introduce you to another person If you list in your brain, all the things that you can gain, if you leave here, you are talking to your boss and all you want to talk to your boss, and you want to ask for a raise, and you're really afraid to approach your boss. What you should do is before going to your bus address, write down a list between five and 10 things that you can gain from the interaction. And you will see that it will be easier to act. You can do this exercise home or in your car before going to a social place. You just take a piece of paper and you write down between five and 10 things that you can gain from the interaction.

And from now on, I would like you to switch your focus from being negative or not really thinking about that to being really positive and thinking in terms of benefits that you can gain if you approach someone and you will see that it will be really easier to approach. The third technique would be to apply proach anyone approach who you want approach the first first person that you see in a new environment? Why? Because back in the days, when you wanted to approach a new group of people that you didn't know, it was really difficult because you didn't know who the group was. And you didn't know if it was safe to approach that group. Because a caveman could come and smash your head with a stone that could happen back in the days.

So we still have this fear. So now when you are approaching a new group of people, you don't know if it's safe to approach this person to talk to this person. So what you should do is as soon as possible approach the first person that you see, it can be a bouncer, it can be a bartender, it can be the first person that you see at the networking event or in a restaurant and just say hi, how is your night? Hi, my name is Aaron. How is unite and it will really show you brain show proof that you can start talking to people in this environment, and you feel for coaching will decrease. When I was studying at university, I had to give presentation and I was stressed.

So when I had to give a presentation in front of 100 people, what I would do before giving the presentation, I was just asked a simple question. So I would raise my hand and ask a simple question to the teacher. And most people didn't understand why I was always doing that. It's just because I wanted to show my brain that I was able to be loud, and to talk in that environment and nothing would happen. And then I was more comfortable giving the presentation. So this last technique number three, technique number four, is that you should make fun of your fear.

Make fun of it. Most people make a big deal out of this fear for approaching the more you think that this fear is huge and preventing you from acting the most real, so make fun of it. and name it. Name. It was Because if you try if you can illustrate this fear, that's easier. So I tried to name it, and to really make fun of this year.

So my fear is named Carlos. And Carlos, I imagine it's a really small guy that is sitting on my shoulders. And I know that Carlos will always be there, when I would have to approach people, and I will make fun of him. So it means that I am talking to out wants to talk to people. So I am in a bar, and I'm stressed. And I imagine that Carlos is here.

It's my fear of approaching and I make fun of him. I imagine that I have to take care of him, like, he leaves through me. And I make fun of him to say, okay, Carlos, you are here again, you won't succeed this time, you won't be able to prevent me from approaching and I make fun of it. And as I make fun of it, it's not a big deal anymore, and then it's easier to approach. So that's why he can this lecture. The fear of approaching is something that everyone has, you can not remove it, but you can decrease it.

First, you should accept that the fees there, just say the fees they're accepted. And then you can use different techniques, you can use the four techniques at the same time. Or you can use one and then another one and then the other day, another one, you can mix it up. The first technique was to approach as soon as possible. The second technique was to think in terms of benefits. The third technique is to approach the first person that you see in any environment, just to show prove to your brain that it's okay to approach people in that environment.

And the fourth technique is to make fun of it. And you name it you find a name that you think is funny in your head, and then you make fun of it when you are talking to people.