So now let's talk about the fear of being rejected. So first, I would like to see that sometimes being rejected is great, because it can make you safe time. And sometimes you are not meant to be in the personnel relationships and in the professional relationships. The problem is that when you don't approach people, because you are afraid of being rejected. So my first advice to you is that being rejected is not 100% in your control, it can mean that you can approach someone and be a really confident version of yourself really charismatic, and you can approach someone and the person had a bad day. So it's not your fault, and the person will reject you.

Maybe you did nothing wrong. But the person had a bad day. Maybe they had a problem with their boss, with the co workers. You don't know what happened. So most people are afraid of being rejected, because they take it personally. If you could have, I would say the most charismatic person on earth.

Let's say that you consider that Brad Pitt or George Clooney is a really charismatic person, they also get rejected. Why? Because being rejected is not in their control. It means that they can approach people and people can still reject them, because they had a bad day. So when you are rejected or when you are afraid of being rejected, understand that it's not always your fault. It can happen that the person had a bad day.

And it's not your fault, and there is nothing that you can do about it. But what you can do is take action, despite the fear of being rejected, and see what happens. There are other times when you approach and you get rejected. What happened was people would say that it's terrible. I would say just the result that you had, it's a social result that you had. Maybe it was the other person, the person had a bad day, or maybe it was you.

I encourage you to look for similarities It means that if you approach people and people reject you, always at the same time or when you do say something, if you are rejected after you did the same thing, or you said the same thing three times, you ask yourself this question. Okay, what did I do in this interaction? What did I do that made me rejected? Because you cannot please everyone. So some people will reject you for one behavior that you have. And some people will love you for behavior that you have.

So, when you are rejected, don't undervalue yourself and say that you are a loser, and that you cannot do anything in life. Really value yourself. Try to be the best version that you can. And then you approach people and see what happens. When I started 10 years ago, 15 years ago, I was really afraid of rejection, because I thought that rejection would say that I'm not worth it. And I'm not able to do that.

On top of that, I had my first laughing at me every time I would be rejected, but with rejection comes learning. Because the more you get rejected, the more you learn, the more you learn how to do it right. The more you learn about yourself, the more you learn about others, the more you learn how to interact with others, the more you learn what makes you a great human being. So it's really important to take action despite this fear of being rejected. control what you can control, you can control, I would say, 50% of the interaction, do you agree that you have 50% of the interaction, and I have 50%. So if I approach you, I can control my 50%.

In other words, it's how I communicate to you how I approach you what I say. But then if you had a bad day, if you don't like me, I cannot control it. I can try to make you like me by having amazing social skills. But if you don't like me, you can reject me. There is nothing I can do about it. But then if there is something wrong that I do many times over and over again, you will, I will be able to notice that and say, Hey, this person or everyone rejects me, when I do something when I do this thing, when I see that everyone rejects me when I see that, so then you can start improving yourself and say, Whoa, maybe what I maybe these thing that I say is not great.

And then you can become a better version of yourself. So the more you get rejected, the more you'll you will be able to improve faster. Another great tip to see what rejection is all about. You ask yourself this question, what is the worst case scenario that can happen? You approach someone, what is the worst case scenario? The person can reject you?

And so what? Most people would say that it's the end of the world. Most people would say that everyone will laugh at them. Everyone will notice that they got rejected, though, if you approach them And someone rejects you. No one will notice that you got rejected in your head, you may think that everyone noticed, but they didn't. So you can see approaching people is safe, try to do your best.

And really, it's all about improving your social skills. And if you have people who laugh when you get rejected, get new friends, or tell them that you don't like when they do that. Because I would like you to be socially successful. So that's why you should reach surround yourself with people who will help you develop better social skills, how I surrounded myself with amazing people, was I wanted to have people who supported me when I would approach people. So at the end, what happened is that I would approach them on I would get rejected, and people would come and congratulate me say, Alan, you took action. That's awesome.

And that's how it can change your perception of being rejected. So you see, it's all about being a perception. You can see Oh, my god, that was rejected. I'm worthless. Or you could just say, Oh, I was rejected. That's great.

I learned I learned more about myself more more about people and more about my communication skills. So the exercise today is to write down situations where you got rejected, and you took it personally and it was not your fault. In other words, you approach someone you got rejected, you thought it was your fault, but the person had a bad day, or the person had something going on, and you and you interpreted it as, Oh my god, I did something wrong. So try to find the situations and you will be able to change your focus and become more confident.