So in this video, I would like to talk about why most people should stop being approval seeking. And maybe that's your case or maybe not. But I would like to discuss it here to see if you can identify with and if you can really take the advice I'm giving you to take your life to the next level. So being approval seeking means that you are not expressing yourself freely, you're not sharing yourself with the other person, but you are trying to micromanage the impression that the person would have of you, it means that you are adapting your behavior in a way that will make the other person feel that you are great that you have value as a human being and that you are doing things right. So if you are doing that, if you are do it for expressing yourself to get an impression to get the reaction from other people.

I would encourage you to stop it. Because if you do that it will be socially an attractive. So 10 years ago, I wasn't Tabor to express myself freely. And I would always adapt to I was always trying to please people. So at the end, I had no personality, because I was always adapting who I was to please people to micromanage, micromanage people, and to always be like. So, if you have this kind of behavior, maybe not as extreme as mine, but if you have this kind of behavior, I would like to show you that instead of having the focus of, oh my god, this person has to like me, you should have the focus on yourself first and saying, What do I want?

So if you ask yourself this question, What do you want? What do I want, you will be able to define your personality to define what you really want in any social situation. Whereas rather than saying, What do I have to do to be liked by this person. And if you put the focus on something that you cannot control, which is the impression that the person will get, you won't be able to express yourself freely. Because you will be always seeking approval. So instead to focus on you, and ask yourself this question, What do you want?

So let's say that you are the net networking event, and you want to get new clients. So if you ask yourself this question, What do I want? Oh, I want to get new clients. That's great. So that's what you want. And then the second question is, how can you give to others?

Because we want to put the focus on ourselves first, but we also want them to give back. You see here the distinction. It's not, we only have the focus on the other person and we we want to please the person and make an amazing first impression to and micro-managing what we do just to please someone, we want to please ourselves. First, by asking the question, What do I want? But then we also have the question, How can I give to others? So this example here of the networking event, what do I want?

I want to get to clients and how can I give to The other person, oh, I can, I can show them that it's an it's an amazing product and that it can change their life. So I know what I want, I want to get new clients, but at the same time, I want to show them that they will be able to get amazing results with my product. And it changes how you would talk to them, and you want to be approval seeking. So it's something that is really, really amazing. So in other words, when you are talking to people, ask yourself these questions. Are you trying to please yourself first, or are you trying to please the other person?

And one step further is are you adapting who you are to please people or not? Because you can be pleasing other people, but you are not adapting who you are. It means that you can please people by being who you are. But if you please people, by adapting who you are and changing who you are, that means that it's approval seeking because you are trying to get something from The other person, so it's something that is really incredible and really powerful when you learn how to really use it in social interactions.