Welcome back, and Congratulations, you've made it this far, which means you're very sincere about beating this thing. Now this video is going to put you to the test because this is going to be the hardest lesson to take. But often the hardest lessons are the most important ones. You may be hypersensitive to criticism, you may lack confidence in yourself in social situations, in public places or even on the phone. You may have a hard time letting negative things go. You may even feel the looks of others imagine their judgments and have a burning need to escape.

In the past. You would blame this on anxiety, but not anymore. From now on, there is no blame. Because blame is always useless. Rather than finding fault in the system and your parents choices and your own biology. We are here to work on what we can do differently.

The first point to understand is this sickness called Why? Why is a never ending thirst for answers that will leave you empty. It is like drinking air and answers you hear from me or anywhere else are going to fix your problems? Oh, hang on, wait, don't go anywhere. This is actually a beautiful thing. Because your Fix your cure, it lies within you, you see, you are always there when you need you the most.

So that being said, I will I already have provided you with a lot of the what, and the how this is a very important concept to understand. So don't let this one slip past you. Why is a monster. instead you're going to want to ask, What can I do? And how can I do it? Now buckle up.

This is the hard part. You see the true problem with depression, anxiety, and very specifically social anxiety is selfishness. I know how this sounds, but you must trust me. I do this all out of love, and I want nothing more than to get you better. So despite the fact that you might be a huge giver, always concerned with the well being of others. Your real problem when you suffer from social life.

Anxiety. you require the approval of others to make you feel better. You search for answers to your questions and their eyes. You longed for that recognition that admiration in their facial expressions, you yearn for their kindness and careful consideration to your delicate state as if you are some sort of fragile artifact nonsense. You are a warrior, and I'm going to prove it to you. You see, selfishness means that you need to take from others in order to feel good about yourself.

I'm sure you feel great when you give. But right now chances are you may be basing that feeling on the response that you receive when you give. It doesn't matter if that's not the case, because my original point here still holds a lot of value. But let me put it this way. You make dinner for your spouse as a surprise. They throw the food and tell you it's terrible because they are in a terrible mood.

How do you feel? Did it feel good to give to them despite the outcome, or does it feel bad knowing that you didn't get the recognition that you feel Like you deserved, ridiculous example I know. But I need to paint a clear picture here. When we are up inside our heads, always wondering if people like us if they're going to accept us. If they're going to notice how awkward we are. We are being selfish.

Do you see? Remember, this isn't about blame. You're not at fault here. This new perspective is going to give you power. Don't allow it to bring you pain do not feel grief or guilt. And try not to hate me for it.

But you can see how being up in your head can rob you of so many things. What is it rob you of enjoying a date shopping responsibly, setting the right example? What about doing the right thing? I've helped hundreds of people and they all mentioned something like this. And I can think of countless times in my own life where I wish that I had the courage or the confidence to do the right thing. Again, don't hold any guilt as this will only hold you back.

You are here now with me and we're going to get you better. And that's all that matters. Now to come. This silly monster you need to feed yourself the right energy. You need to actually do more for yourself to build your self worth to grow your confidence and expand your love and your patience for yourself. This might actually sound selfish to you.

And that's because we've been trained backwards in so many ways. But understand that your greatest gift that you can share is your own personal well being. Let that one sink in the best you will have the biggest positive ripple effect on those around you. If you are sensitive to criticism to the looks people give you are just being around people as if you're going to be judged. Your sense of self, your understanding of who you are, is built on an unstable foundation. There's this amazing quote that I like to say that describes how most people think of themselves that goes, I am not who I think I am.

And I am not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am. You see this is that unstable foundation. We're trying to be the person that we believe the other person believes us to be. And for that, it's almost like we don't ever get to know ourselves. But through mindfulness, through the pause, breath and these principles that I'm giving you right now, you're not only going to better discover yourself, but you are going to love yourself.

And this is why we are starting with this foundation. Who are you? Who is the voice inside of your head? Who is the voice inside that reasons? Search deeply for that spark within yourself? And if you can't find it right now, don't worry about it.

We're going to find it, I assure you, we will uncover it by focusing on and defining your ideal self. This brings me to the next assignment. I want you to write a very detailed description of who you want to become. What does the highest version of yourself look like? Patient kind of strong, confident, easygoing. Interesting.

Funny, but be very specific. How does this person look? What sorts of habits and behaviors does this person take on? What is their posture? Like what facial expressions do they typically have? This visualization is so powerful and most effective if you use the words I am while you're writing and self talking, but before you take on this beautiful and life changing assignment, our species lives in a paradox as it relates to control.

We tense up to get warm and we start to shiver and feel very uncomfortable. we attempt to float on the water and we sink. We try to fall asleep and we can't see our answers. They're found naturally around us yet we consistently lose the idea of what real control actually is. If you want to truly experience water, you need to only Place your hand into the current and feel it around you. Once you grab a hold of water, you lose it and this is life.

If you want to feel like you have incredible power and control You need to accept that there's always going to be variables that you can account for. chance is everywhere. Like I said earlier, if you weren't accepting every moment of life as it comes to you, if you weren't practicing acceptance of your situation and your current circumstances, you are literally resisting it. we resist the rain by complaining about it, wishing it were Sunny, causing ourselves unnecessary suffering. Instead, I love rainstorms. They're beautiful.

They sound so peaceful, you can create huge resistance when you imagine that things are not going your way. Rather than accepting that it is what it is you waste time and energy by imagining the horrible What if you're resisting the fact that you can't change or control other people when you could easily accept this fact and focus your energy on imagining a more positive outcome and simply controlling the things that are actually within your means to control these concepts sound very easy, but I assure you They're very difficult to master without the right tools. So work on your assignments, take your time and allow yourself real time. I am talking a full day minimum to digest this material. I'll see you in the next lesson. And until then, don't take life too seriously.