Module six mood management. If you cannot control how you feel and avoiding your feelings has negative consequences, the only recourse you have left is to manage your emotions. This involves understanding not only how you feel but what you should can make of your feelings. Emotional intelligence, like the emotional granularity theory, the theory of emotional intelligence is one that helps you to understand how to make the most use of your feelings. Once you accept that emotions are valid, it's tempting to think that expressing them in every instance is the way to go. Like the famous gag in the television show Seinfeld to indicate your anger or frustration, you could go around screaming serenity now.

Unfortunately, that's not what it's called for when you accept the validity of your emotions. Emotional Intelligence means understanding what your emotions signifies, and the appropriate and helpful ways in which you make the emotion work for you. categories of emotion. One useful way of thinking about emotions is to divide them into categories based on how they help us to perform. We could assign one category four emotions that always help us to perform well. emotions such as enthusiasm, confidence, tenacity and optimism would fall into this category of high performance emotions.

These high performance emotions are characterized as being high arousal, emotions, and as being emotions where our focus is wide and open. Another category of emotions becomes obvious. If we have a category for high performance emotions, then it follows that we should have a category for emotions that always interfere with high performance. These are called Blue emotions, and they include such emotions as dejection, depression, boredom and disappointment. These emotions are marked by qualities of low arousal and a narrowed and closed focus. A third category for emotions would cover those emotions that can either improve our performance or impede these emotions.

Include anger, anxiety and frustration. And they are called swinging emotions because they can swing either way into motivating better performance or interfering with good performance. Take anxiety. For example, if someone preparing for a test was to feel anxious about that test, this could lead either to that person studying harder or freezing up. If the anxiety led to more studying, we could say that the emotion caused the person's behavior to swing into the realm of high performance. If the anxiety made the person freeze up, then obviously that person probably did not do too well on the test.

And the effects of that emotion led to decrease performances, as if the emotion were a blue emotion. Swing emotions are characterized as being high arousal emotions, but with a narrowed focus. A fourth category of emotions does not get discussed much because we often don't recognize emotions in this category as emotions, seeing them more as neutral state. However, a low arousal and white focused emotion such as calm and satisfaction can be high performance emotions as well. Increasing arousal. If you've ever felt depressed, you can probably understand why raising your arousal level might be a helpful way to go.

The trick to emotional intelligence then is to recognize how you are feeling and determine what needs to be done in order to feel a different way. Fortunately, in the case of Blu emotions, there are numerous ways to increase your arousal levels and thereby put your emotions into more of the high performance category where you're feeling enthusiasm or optimism. Here are some suggestions exercise. For those suffering from depression, doctors often recommend exercising. The combination of movement and high respiration helps to stimulate chemicals in your brain that give you the sense of well being what runners refer to as runner's high and to increase your energy level. Listen to upbeat music.

A steady beat has the capacity to pump a person up and get them feeling greater levels of enthusiasm. Often upbeat music can lead people to spontaneously engage in a truly excellent form of exercise. Dancing, sing. While it might sound hokey singing with all your heart can really to quote The Beatles take a set song and make it better. Not only is the physical act of singing a kind of massage for your lungs and throat, but the movement of air through your vocal cords in the form of vibrations can arouse your energy levels play. One really great way to cope with blue emotions is to engage in some form of game playing taps into our inner child and reawakens our sense of optimism and enthusiasm.

Decreasing arousal while increasing your arousal level can be an excellent way to effectively deal with low arousal emotions. Feeling high levels of emotional arousal is not always helpful. The key is to understand the valence of the high arousal emotion. If it is on the pleasant side of the spectrum, there's no need to change anything, but if your emotion is unpleasant, then you probably need to lower your arousal level. In the example before about anxiety and test taking too much arousal could make a person freeze up This is why when someone feels anxious or angry, it's common for another person to tell them to calm down. Unfortunately, while this may be obvious from a rational standpoint, it's easier said than done when you do feel angry or anxious.

Since swing emotions tend to feature both instances of high arousal and a narrowed focus activities that can lower the arousal level widen the focus or both are desirable. A lower level of arousal allows you to reassess your situation and a wider focus allows you to explore possibilities that wouldn't have occurred to you in a state of anger or frustration. Here are some suggestions brief. Taking deep and slow breaths helps to slow down your respiration and allow the fight or flight feelings to subside. Engage a relaxation response. If you've been practicing the technique introduced in Module Three regularly this might even be an instinctive action.

If you have the capability in space, taking the time to meditate can also help to reduce your feelings of arousal. Exercise, strangely enough exercise can increase arousal levels and people who are feeling low arousal, and it can also decrease the arousal level of someone feeling high arousal. This is a form of venting. In fact, anything that is a high energy activity can help vent your high arousal levels and reduce them to something more manageable. That's why people tend to shout when they get angry. Shout, obviously you need to be selective in how you deploy this strategy.

Shouting at your boss, friend, parent or child might help in the immediate moment to reduce your arousal level, but it often comes with consequences. However, finding a private and quiet place to scream your lungs out can be quite helpful.