Wife and I had a 10 year journey around paternity. I share a bit about that in a minute. I'm here to help you get off the emotional roller coaster. To help you find peace of mind Believe it or not, that can happen on this journey. Talk your mind and body to be in your optimal state to get pregnant with a naturally or with treatment. Before get into the detail and the meat of the course.

I want to talk about how to engage with this course how to listen how to walk. Always have experience over this course this is why I record it as one video points go to relax into it. Just have an experience get lost in it. I don't want to make any notes. Let me tell you why. I went to went to a workshop where I spent a lot of time effort and money to be in that workshop.

As really looking forward to the nuggets of wisdom. The workshop medium was going to share I sat there in a second row the first exposed with a my pad on and pen on my knee. He came out I started the workshop, he told us about pads and pens down. I found naked there my pattern pen money. I was scared I wasn't gonna get full value. From that workshop.

I was going to remember the nuggets of wisdom he was going to share he went on to explain in personal development, how many times to you read things or listen to things and make loads of it and notes actually don't make a difference to your life. He said it's better to go away one insight, one chain about highest value or life on aha moment that makes a difference to your life than 500 notes to go nowhere. It's like, I love my running and I used to run in normal trainers like most other people. About 10 years ago, I switched to what's called barefoot or minimalist running, like basically running completely barefoot, or your shoes have a very thin sheets of rubber underneath is no cushioning whatsoever. So you run in a very different style, or the more kind of a natural style which is more healthy and more efficient.

All I first doing it, it felt really, it felt really uncomfortable. It felt really confusing to try and run in a different style. Because so natural and contract has meaning in the normal way. It's like when I switch from using a Windows computer to to a Mac, I use these Windows computers all day and could navigate my myself around windows unconsciously but trying to switch to a new operating system as well. I prefer the way all were doing things to let go my old way of thinking about things and be open to a new way of doing things and us seeing things as the same amount. And the more I did that.

I relaxed into the new way of doing a film my way into it. And I could feel when it went right and it just felt more natural And that workshop changed my life. Not only can I remember the couple of words or quotes, he said that just spit my hope and I could really feel my soul and what I learned for myself. The freed me for my fears back then. But also, it changed my life and how I engage with information. I'm much more connected to my soul realizing it's not what other people's words make the difference.

It's not what they say. It's what you hear. It's what your soul hates, what you hear within you is going to make a difference. That brings me brings permanent, effortless change. It's like having a friend or acquaintance you think you know and trust, you find out something new about them. You have a change of heart.

You have to remember to think of the net without new way. It becomes effortless. Just a change of heart about and that's why one for you. I want you to have a change of heart about where your well being comes from a change of heart about what it means for you to get pregnant or not a change of heart of your emotion, your resilience and we have within you way to Know Your Farmer with anything you really think you do. Just realize out of experience over this time together, listen for failing within. My words are pointing to something within you is what I want you to when you make a difference.

My words, just sit back and relax. You can listen to this course as many times as you want to sit back and relax and experience. I want to start by recognizing and accepting how tough this journey can be. offered. I realize we don't accept it. We soldier on and we soldier on and you're not truly accepting.

This is really, really tough and friendly. Some family don't really acknowledge or recognize it. It's not their fault. It's almost a campaign on this journey. You can't really understand how tough it is. So it's not their fault.

They tried their best. And often they say the most unhelpful things. And it can feel very lonely on the journey. Even in a relationship, it can feel very lonely on the journey. That's probably a topic for another course. But just recognize this is really tough.

And we sold you on ourselves, you're in this moment. Just accept, it's really tough. Give yourself some self compassion. Acceptance does not mean giving up. acceptance, though, thinking never can change once you get to change. He's accepting where we are today and loving us, ourselves where we are today.

And Harvard University did a study that looked at the stress levels with women experiencing infertility and their equivalent to those with AIDS, cancer and heart disease. No one's just max. This is really really tough. I said knowledge that you know yourself some self compassion and that stress if you don't acknowledge it, if we try and soldier on soldier on, not actually helping that stress can be impacting our body and impacting our fertility. The University of California did a study amongst infertile couples experiencing infertility and those with the most the most stressed had a 93% less success rate and Elise stressed and Sweden did a study looking at the reasons why couples stop treatment. And this is the top six reasons from that study, why people stop treatment and the top one is known as payment either postpone it or To connect and actually know why the couple have not registered attending why they're postponing or stopping treatment.

But number two says first one's going to just unknown office payments, then the first top reason why they knew I have a couple of stopping treatments was psychological burn and physical burn mainly psychological burn. There was just too much for them. They just couldn't go imagine going through another round of IVF wasn't even financial kudos psychological burn, could imagine going through next one down relationship and personal reasons. Related it may be a couple no longer together personal reasons because because this can put stress on the best of relationships, infertility cover strain on the best of relationships, as long as that as well. personal reasons maybe they've moved away or tried not to, and I mainly got pregnant naturally. All sorts of personal training.

Rejection, that's where the couple rejects the suggestion or treatment, maybe it's in its own way, or maybe even. It's just beyond the capital of comfortable with and they reject the know that suggested treatment. Next one down is organizational issues. That's, again, classical things that maybe a couple of weeks away and change clinic. So it's maybe not a rejection of treatment is more just kind of logistic reasons. And number six clinic issues, a lot of couples are not happy with the clinics.

To be fair, I think all the clinics are getting better but generally quite poor that the emotional aspects support a couple of series emotionally. But overall, we can see much psychological burden is a big factor in this where people just stop treatment. So let's recognize this is really tough. Give yourself some self compassion. What do you do to the car yourself care for yourself? take time out to nurture yourself.

Often we can spend so much time focusing on project baby. My encouragement is us take a step back and spend some time pushing you because I know from my own personal journey and those are the client my clients is the effects on project you. Project baby takes more care so either naturally or treatment. My first fertility client, I never forget her. Michelle, she was 39 she just finished her third round of IVF been successful, and she wants to go straight into her fourth. She felt pressured to go straight into the fourth partly the clinical quite positive.

Now suppose protocol changes, but she was scared she was 39 and other women have this big thing about their 40th birthday as if on the 14th of birth and their fertility drops like a brick of course, yeah fertility to crazy over time, but doesn't draw like a brick and our fortress birth is a psychological kind of barrier, across warfare, and other cultures, when they get pregnant naturally, till much later age because they don't have this cultural thing about age. But also that there's an unspoken pressure from my family who are paying for the treatments that she should continue because they were scared of her age. But she was in no state to continue treatments physically or emotionally. She was a wreck. I can, I cannot journey, my wife and infertility struggles and she went on a journey trying to heal herself. And she did.

We found a gynecologist that come across the bridge between traditional and holistic medicine. He was wonderful. And over a period of number of years. My wife full health just began to do a U turn and she found herself having a full cycle, healthy cycle for the first time in our life. No reason why we couldn't get pregnant. Felt like we've done it got to the place we've always wanted with the kid ourselves that we thought we're okay with it.

Thinking is okay, if we can't have our own children, we can foster adopt. We've got our space with actually being a possibility we're just kidding ourselves and to protect ourselves from the pain of not being to have that one thing we design most in the world. an automotive a year trying we found out some we knew something was wrong. You can expose on this journey. We knew something was wrong, and I had my first test. We found out otherwise, you have disastrous options across the board.

I really found a kick in the teeth. Follow me run a marathon got to the end. I even told no, you could do all over again. I got it all over again. It's not gonna be harder. As hi Michelle won three back to back marathons.

She was a no status starter for it's my first bit of coaching affair goes go away. I don't want to see you for a few weeks, guys. Have a holiday, either physical holiday or just fertility break, just don't think about it. And we start preparing you for the next round of IVF. And she came back and we work together. And she went into a full cycle with a very different mindset.

And she said, the whole experience where it was unlike any other IVF she felt so much more relaxed and the whole treatment and she was successful. So I might say complete a massive role in our journey. And that's because I might have been to one system and my wife and it only exactly what happened. We know that if we knew then we know now would not be a 10 year journey. My fertility, I tried everything to improve my fertility couldn't work it made it worse. So I can look back when I was when I still think you know what, I can't do any better.

This I've tried everything. It's not working. There's nothing I can do about it. I stopped trying, thinking, Okay, we're in the hands of the clinic, and they're exploring maybe Exif us 72 we have a tailspin about where happiness comes from, I'm gonna come on to that. But actually altogether through a journey of concealing naturally against all odds, and I'll pack a little bit more as we go through this. So, to recognize that the mind and body are one system, the mind affects the body, and the body affects the mind is a growing body of research that shows this.

And the research is not new. It's been going for decades. Dr. Ellen Langer Professor Ellen Langer from Harvard Medical School. She's been a Harvard University she's been studying, in my opinion for decades, 30 years. One of those studies, she put a bunch of motivators in a room together, like a big brother house. We live together for a couple of weeks, but that helps.

Was decorated from the 1950s to 30 years prior, because there's studies on the late 80s or late 70s, early 80s. So the house was decorated prior 30 years prior to the date of the actual date. And they live in this environment from 1950s where there's no radio programs, the papers, everything around them decades old 1950s they started to as you recollect those times together to old days. And they did a bunch of physical and psychological tests before they went into the house and repeated those when they came out. here and Dr. Langer was astounded at the difference. Some of the guys went in hopping on sticks and came out and played touch rugby.

There was such a stark physical change in them, their memories improved their everything about their kind of neurological factors improved just by reminiscing, think about the old days. There's another study that Learning institutes in America town where I got someone, a bunch of people to to visualize their little finger strengthening exercises, they've got this contraption they put their hand in, and they measure the strength and little finger towards a goal and given these visualization exercises to imagine, visualize, imagine you doing strength exercise to strengthen your little finger. I came back a few weeks later, that a 35 muscle percent increase in strength increase in a little finger without lifting a finger, naturally do any exercises. Just thought about it. The mind or body or one system of amazing capacity to harness this man fertility, Boston IVF. This study with Harvard Medical School, it took a group of women go through IVF and a group of men went through IVF the same clinic but the second group did a mind body kind of program alongside that the treatment and the group that did the mind body program but also their treatment had a 52% success rate compared to the control group and a 20% success rate.

So great body research shows how the mind or body wants system. A new mind is affecting your body whether you know it or not. unconsciously, it could be impacting your body negatively, we could harness that. visualization is a great way of doing resizing and potty training we wanted to do is a great way of doing hypnosis occurring, right and a big fan of hypnosis. using hypnosis query writer is all sorts of things you can do to begin to harness that mind body system. But one thing I want to focus on today is actually how whatever we do to try and improve our fertility, even visualization or hypnosis or acupuncture, all sorts of things you can do to try and prove your fertility.

The mind kind of mind that usually a busy mind Kind of undermine that. And that's what I focus on in this course. How to have less on your mind because I can look back on my own journey, our journey. I tried everything I could to improve my fertility, acupuncture, lifestyle, Herbes diet, even baggy pants in America, baggy underwear. Nothing works. After four months, you've got slightly worse.

So So I came up with nothing to do about this. But I realized unconsciously wasn't at that point, we realized that how much was banking on having children to make me happy. So this busy mind was scared of us not having children. Almost all through my life. I'm living my life. I'll be happy when I'll be happy when I've made my mom happy.

She's happier me. I'll be happy when my teachers can hear me. They think good me. Have you like my employers happy me I'll be happy when I get married I'd be happy but there's always a next thing. Next thing that point was having children and it wasn't happening is triggered all this stuff. I mean, I realize I lived life.

So busy mind happy feel the fear of being judged. Feel people think about me fear of not being loved all sorts of fears. I'm gonna have my own little journey, my project you journey. And my clients I say focus on quality versus project baby. And then when my little project a journey, I wasn't aware of personal development, stuff like that, but I found it out a coach and they might journey and I'll never forget the place sitting these gardens and his two virtual patches and I looked at them, why don't we love the fish was growing, and one was just emptying all these weeds. him to another last my life it's empty for stuff inspires me.

I'm doing stuff like I should live in a life other people expect of me and everyone else gets his life it's vibrant of first off that makes them happy and they seem to get the things they want so much easier for me life is so much harder than me my sort of flesh fertile as everyone else is don't use my physical fertility. But life seems much harder for me. It wasn't fair. share something inside of me in life, but a way to let go to sit back and look at that same scene a different time. And look at the two virtual patches and realize okay, the empty one. That's my life.

It's not parallel, empty. It's a blank canvas. Okay, I'm not living the life inspires me I'm not in a joy to really enjoy. I am happy living up to now that the life that I'm at least expect of me I can change I can start living what I call more inside out. Living life for myself doing the things that I want to be doing that I enjoy. No house, I didn't do any things I think I should be doing to be happy.

And through that journey, having children shifted from being a maid, to being a designer, the first time I can imagine life being just as fulfilling without children as with children. Yes, we continue to explore it with a clinic, we're still looking at it from a place of peace. A fair urgency to subsided. I guess. A few months later, my wife became pregnant. Naturally, against all odds.

You weren't even trying to tell us no point to try. One a billion chance will probably happen naturally. But it did. And I was intrigued. So did another test result. And it improved dramatically without me even trying.

It's because I just like I've always noise in my head, the fear of not getting pregnant. How we do that is three misunderstandings that prevents us from having that peace of mind this dreams understandings that stop us having that pace and these misunderstandings keep us having a busy mind I want to share those with you now. First one is a misunderstanding of the nature of thought. To me by thought thought is not just we're consciously aware of in our head, thought could be unconscious or we don't even aware, hidden think in the back of my mind. I think our thought is, we misunderstand the true nature of it. I tell a story man as a man walk in the bank with deep thoughts flowing He looks out into the water, I see someone drowning.

So he jumps in, he swims out. And he rescues them knows who's up on that, even if someone else needs rescuing, so he swims out rescue them as well. He ends up going backwards and forwards saving these people from the river. And Susannah people who say get back in the water to help improve these people for them. After a while, the madness starts or this just up to net disappeared. The people left behind continue to pull these people from them.

And then he showed up again. Before he showed up number of people who say no juice and they stopped. And the man we appeared. They said him How can you be so hardcore, heartless and callous to these people now of me. He said he didn't deserve them. I'm further upstream to find out why they're falling in the river in the first place.

And to offer not attempt to self help, focus, focus Too far downstream. So like they want to change their behavior, weight, lose weight or get fit or change a habit. They're not aware of their emotions or try their behavior. Part of our unhealthy eating is emotional eating since our emotions that drive our behavior, so a lot of forms of self help focus on emotions tell you feel about that. I believe talking emotion out, let it go. Why be two things one is, the more you focus on it, the more you get closer, it's not going far enough upstream.

What drives emotion is our thinking. And a lot of focus nowadays on thought, mindfulness quieting your think affirmations change your thinking CBT challenge your thinking. If you try that stuff, it's really hard work and very rarely works. People today my friends, meditation be very chilled out. For the day when I meditate and go back into everyday life within an hour the back to the stress often has actually impacted their day. Don't get me wrong.

I'm a big fan of meditation. I use minutes To enjoy my quiet might not too quiet in my way. So there's a lot of focus on the content and the volume of our thinking, trying to manage that stuff. But here's the thing. We think we're thinking beings, we think we can control our thoughts. We're not, we're beings that have thought, or thought or spontaneous.

You can choose an expo if you wanted to. just happens. And there's not the content or the volume of our thinking. The problem is our relationship with thought. Because we don't understand the true nature of thought we can have chasing our tail feels like a dog chasing his tail. Because he doesn't understand the true nature of the tail.

She's a puppy realizes the towers probably thought he stopped doing most of them. We chase our thinking so to understand the true nature of thought, passing thought is useful and talking to a client early about anxious thoughts, having She gets so caught up in them because we think they're telling us something important. I just begin to realize that thoughts are no different to crazy thoughts. We're trying to manage our thinking trying to dismiss the crazy thoughts so we don't need those crazy thoughts and look for the important thinking was also also and we have two guides machism one is this busy mind in our head which is contaminated by outside in thinking, thinking that says you will be okay when you're BK F. We have chasing your tail trying to find that stuff. So looking at the one place in the space below your moments of quiet we have a quiet mind.

And it's not instant against that space. There's days that feel like you're in flow, your fire just doesn't and life feels okay. How'd you get here? bases fall into it. You forget to think you'll get bored of your thinking. We just drop into it.

It's actually our innate natural state state. And maybe we have digital states is busy minds, habitual states. It's actually our natural state we stop trying. space below our thinking is a better guidance mechanism to life. always busy mind is busy mind is fearful thinking is all future thinking based on past experience. It's all past and future.

Your body's in heaven now. Everything you need is in here. Now. Some misunderstand the nature of thought, that shows this can be our thinking. It's like a snow globe shaking in our head. I think how do we fix this?

How do we fix this? How do I stop this? How do I stop this? We're inadvertently putting more energy into it. Naturally settles naturally on its own. We forget about it.

There's a misunderstanding nature or thought of quite unhealthy relationship we think if everything's a manager or if it'll be scared of your thinking what didn't give us give your thought a second thought? Because thoughts like clouds on a breeze where the ability to create thoughts would have been shapes and sizes and we realize we have thought full stop it's not our true self our soul our instincts, our intuition we're gonna call it that something deeper. The thoughts very enticing thing is that thought is it creates this illusion of reality so plausible, so believable, but then said it didn't do it. And you're left to believe that reality. Fair or future thinking. Nothing can predict the future not even your thinking.

Face the misuse of imagination. With your picture on what's in our head, and when everyone's screaming, forgetting that redrew the picture. face all future thinking, you have no idea what happened next five minutes better next hour, week, month, six months, who knows? Fear thinks he knows. I've done everything he can to prevent the images coming into your head but you don't know what's gonna happen and nothing could be the future. So first things are misunderstand the nature of the thought.

Or if all thought was equal, and you'd give any thought a second thought, pops into your head, and it's childhood thinking we started this as a child. Because there's three parts of our brain. The oldest part of our brain is the reptilian brain, same structures reptiles, that's the fight or flight syndrome purely to keep us Unlike the second part of our brain, and our development is called the mammalian brain. That's the same structure of other mammals. mammals are pack animals, they're tribal. out in the wild, they chose survival pretty small, they're cut off on their tribe, their pack.

That part of your brain just wants to be part of the pack and be secure in the pack. He wants to be loved. They want to romance our human brain, the cortex, there's creativity and lateral thinking all sorts of things that other mammals can't do. Go okay before emotion intelligence fully formed, kind of teenage years before that, the mammalian brain is quite strong. On all we want is to know the pack is secure. In opposition, the pack is secure.

And that pack of the family unit is a very influential pack. As we grow up, it could be the friendship so let's give you a sort of sense of tribe. Boys. The family unit is a very influential one. If we think the tribes under threat for parents are split up or arguing a lot, we can feel insecure. But also, if we think we to earn their love in some way, we don't think we're good enough in some way and my mom, she loved me unconditionally that we know that as adults, which is a harder a strict way to try and meet expectations unconsciously I was thinking I'm good enough if I meet her expectation, I'm good if I behave in the right way or get the right exam results.

And that sounds sad or cool about being outside in. I'm okay if and even though we no longer that kid in that situation, the thinking habits we pick out things become just that thought habits. The filter, we're looking at life. Okay, so perceptual reality. Every person on this planet, these are a little model of the world and I perception of reality. We think differently when else.

When a few people think the same I think that's reality. No, I just think the same 100% of experience comes from this filter of thought. First misunderstanding is a misunderstanding. And the second one is a misunderstanding, experience comes together. Here's the thing, we've got this filter of thought, and we're experiencing everything behind it. Nothing makes you feel anything.

Nothing makes us feel anything. And sometimes it's quite a hard concept to get your head around because surely if I don't know someone shouts at you, you have a right to be angry or upset. If the car breaks down, you know, it makes us frustrated perhaps, worried. Things happen. We have human experiences. But our experience of those things are not caused by the things themselves or circumstances.

So think about it. If it was the circumstances that created our human experience, everyone, in those circumstances had the same experience. It doesn't work that way. To people come in the same way, same job, one person be stressed and held to a person just sell through. This ain't one person's better than the other. They're different thinking about it.

No, emergency service crews, ambulance firemen could go to the most traumatic scene and on the way home, one get McDonald's and my home you have to be signed off for PTSD for six months. So if it was a circumstance, a crazy experience, we'd all have the same experience of the circumstances, but also the experience would never change until the circumstances changed. But on this journey, some days were better than others. Nothing's changed. anything has changed our thinking about it, even unconsciously. So now makes us feel anything, because 100% of our experience comes from thought.

Thought creates every perceptual human experience we have even pain. Not saying thought creates the pain. The pain might be exposed nerve or broken bone. The thought creates the experience of that pain. Somebody Teufel agony. So maybe maybe we aware of extra miles or something else.

So hundred percent of our experience, experience comes from thought. He works one way inside out. Our mind is like a camera, taking information and processing it. Our minds a projector. We've got this projection screen of thought in our head, and we're living out in the movie. And the best films we enjoy the ones where times we forget it's a film we can lose Often the acting especial effects, we get lost into the story, the whole experience of it.

We don't do that the whole duration of the film because if someone got shot we're going in the place. We're tipping it out but the ones we enjoy most we tipping more we're realizing the films we least enjoy. We completely disengaged and watching like a critic. Think about other films. We've seen those actors in thinking about other things. We're just not engaged.

Things about our mind or thought is at his best special effects department. The whole wide world has emotions. So creating real emotion. We think that emotion is caused by an experience a circumstance, no thought, fear, or future thinking based on past experience. Any emotional experience you have in this moment is not caused by what just happened. Just looks like it's triggered some thinking from In the past and maybe projecting into the future 100% of your human experience comes from voice, your perception of the situation, not the reality.

And the more we see that, the more we know that the less scared to be have any experience. Because here's the thing. We have a human experience, and we take meaning from you think it means something, and we start chasing our town. That's the problem, not the experience, not the fear. Fear, again, not a problem is the fear the fear, is what it means. I think it's never going to happen, and we're stuck more and more filled.

In anxiety, it's not a problem. So they're anxious about having anxiety. That's the problem. Can Recent studies have shown that a bunch of people anxiety will have high cortisol levels? Those are thinking or problem have physical symptoms of anxiety. Those are Didn't think of the pole.

This was a way of life that way of life and when bothered by had no physical symptoms. How would it be if you didn't be scared of any experience? Yeah. clients often say the word freedom. It's like a toddler, having attention that taught us our closest form of self, they get these understandings, we're going to have these misunderstandings. They get what's creating experience unconsciously, the less contaminated by outside in thinking that we pick up over the years.

They can have a human experience like attention, strong emotional reaction to something. They've got nothing on it. They're not trying to stop trying to fix it. Don't judge themselves for having it that anything's gonna last forever. They're just experiencing, expressing so I can get a bit of a superman And okay because I think nothing really expressing it. They're just having a really busy mind and strong emotions.

And then what happens? I just closed because a minute ago about to be okay, it's all forgotten. What do adults do? We're having a human experience like angle will fail. We get caught up in it how do we fix how to change it? So I'm going to try to go around around around because we think it means something.

Prodigious means a bunch of thinking right now. Full stop past thinking future thinking. It's not you know, you your capability, your personality. It's not your circumstances or feelings or you know, one thing, how much thank you bonus moment or feelings or know what's going on your life because you're living by this veil of thought. physical life is behind that you're failing, just know what thought has been projected on the screen. That's why nice For me, then we could know that the world can be free from my thing for my emotions Just be aware of and it moves on.

Because it's a self correcting system. Just like you went out of work, you run for a bus or something, your breathing calms down automatically. As soon as your psychology calms down, automatic has nothing to do. The calming down. It's like a toddler doesn't do any intervention than learning mindfulness or breathing or yoga. It just settles.

And that's how we're designed to be putting as adults, we can interfering with the system versus a self correcting system. So why we find these families and other guys actually doing anything? Good. That's we're scared of our experience, but more we know where experiences come from. It just moves on. We can allow it allowance is a WD 40 of change when you fully allow the experience knowing what it is thought knowingly scared of it doesn't mean anything you can just move on fresh thoughts always come and go and a fresh experience always come behind it and it's always setting better piece to crowdedness tonight You okay?

To know you okay and okay whatever happens because this is the third misunderstanding. So the misunderstanding or thought or thought misunderstanding of where human experience comes from our emotions our feelings. The third one's a misunderstanding where our sense of well being comes from okayness wave I'm calling and that's a found that is within us with a unit never goes away upon with like a toddler, boy, spend most the time just being okay. Don't compare yourself. Others are charging so just being nice okay and everyone else's okay? So we come into the world looking at babies last night with a baby and thought there's something missing.

They're just perfect appear they're just assaulted this moment. Psychologically they just came as their physical needs are being met. Okay? psychological default state is okayness just this busy mind is outside in thinking pick up tells us No. says I'm okay if I'm okay when any bombards us contaminates us with outside in thinking habitually. It's not true.

I was looking for a place that sense of okayness joint never works. Do you think they'll be okay to get more money or the bigger job or the latest phone doesn't last doesn't meet a contented life that's why I was doing tick rough why I live the life I thought I needed to be happy. I had to create a pension the house the car the wife still wasn't content wasn't happy. It wasn't a miserable fertility journey that came to light our greatest pain can come our greatest gifts I wish a 10 year fertility I don't anyone really thankful I learned and missed that journey. Not only are lots of fertility in early but I always need to be more than that I want to be my mother or father want to be or contempt. Boy inside out walk connected to my innate well being to know him Okay?

And for me personally it came down to recognizing it inshallah. Started in childhood I know my love My mom loved me unconditionally I know that I know my wife loves me but I don't feel because I'm I think, my habitual thinking I'm lovable. As a phrase or think I think the proof approves we look for evidence to back it up we dismiss everything else. The truth is una well beings within you're born with it. We're spiritual beings having a physical experience. There's an energy behind life, we're never truly going to understand that it was lifetime together.

So shoal of fish, swim together know what to do with that desire behind life and there was a cut to hate itself that asked him anything we made of it Upon closing your eyes now imagine being surrounded by the energy or love. Whichever way imagine. Imagine, every space in the universe, in this world is filled by love. energy behind life being live in its purest form, what that means for you, whatever God life, universe, Mother Nature, whatever it is for you behind life is love in its purest form. It doesn't demand anything of us. We kind of see that love unconditionally.

And we're all equal. All male energy. All diamonds, perfect, pure, unique. That's why we come in towards the diamond and Taurus, kind of just know In intrinsically Okay, on how consent how it goes is just over conversations not a bunch of outside in thinking to compensate a lack of confidence. polite, moments perfect appear unique. It's like life those mothers.

We subtly are more early on something sometimes it sticks. We pick up other people's thoughts on police or the world of life. And it sticks. We think it's our own. We start looking at life through that filter. And we look at ourselves we're not what we see is kind of people judging us, seeing us as this mode was shiny and beautiful and as other people.

That is who you are, and the mode, just your habitual busy mode insecure thinking. Still that time I think habit changes. So essence and the mode is our human experience. thoughts create feelings. But your true sense of self is the observable master. We have had a debate with yourself this kind of devil age when I should do this maybe not nurture this man, or which ones will you often play with is the age.

One thing is the right thing to do, or no, no either. The real you is the observable testify. You're so perfect, pure, unique. So the third is understanding the misunderstanding where your well being comes from. So that's within the Pentagon, anything in this life Nothing is like makes us feel anything. So why there's millionaires who are happy as millionaires or unhappy as people in poverty line happy.

There's people in the poverty line unhappy. Now in that situation, there could be a correlation. There might be more happy millionaires and then happy. Poor people are the correlation is not causation. If there's causation it'd be 100%. There's no no causation.

Nothing makes us feel anything. You will beings within you, as a human being designed for this moment, for reality. Everything you need shows up in the moment when you need it. That's why some people imagine No, some are scared of losing their job. When it happens, it's not great. It's not It's not what they want.

It's never as bad as I imagine. Think about the situations you've been worried about when it happens. was never as bad as you imagined. It's because we're all scared. We think we're scared. We're scared all we think imagination in our head.

We tend to imagine worst case scenario. And the US ms now is not fully resourced us as a human being designed for reality. Our name was also sharp in the moment when we need clarity, perspective, wisdom, indistinct intuition everything. So we think about the future when you worry about the future. Your wisdoms or present your wisdom, Michelle, you need. We come back here now.

You have everything you need in this moment. This moment your work. When you come back to here and now you're reconnecting to your nice and your body Yep. Parties payment. That is why I say it's busy mine is fearful mine is like a column that undermines all the stuff we do to improve our fertility. More we are in his moment, our soul knows why for us.

I love doctors a great, a great diagnosis but not better prognosis. No one can predict the future. Your soul knows best for you responding in this moment. Listen to experts and filters for yourself. Some of us are trying to do everything we can to try and prove our fertility. Scared of missing out the one thing that made the difference.

It's not what we do. It's why we do it. If what you're doing is motivated by motivated by fear, by doing it in a funny feeling that fear and that's what I was doing. wasn't aware of the things I was doing. was fueled by the fear of not getting pregnant or my wife getting pregnant. And in avoidance feeling that fear the moments It feels like a choice, stop doing it.

Stop doing it. I have clients who every morning was taking a preconception kind of supplements. I should call them I'm not effing pregnant yet pills. Heavy mornings are mine. I'm not going to knock the porter down. Stop taking them that pull you down is gonna do more damage than any benefit they're gonna give you for taking your daily temperature feels like a boy to stop doing it for yourself.

Think whether men and women get pregnant out doing their daily temperature and half we do these things as amino combat to another time, but only your soul this moment. Oh feels true for you. feels free for you, or feels life giving for you. For years living more inside out from you knowing you're gonna be okay. Whatever happens because you enable beings within whatever happens, you're going to be okay. And often ask, we even know what we'll have your baby kevie that's not a question they really contemplate very much.

It's quite a strange question really, but it's quite an interesting question. And often, the answer is a sense of purpose, or happiness. The highlights what's almost missing in their life today. Although they think having a baby is going to give them as outside in. I'll be okay when I'll be happy when I'm exactly where we want If you think having a baby will give you a sense of purpose, you start living your sense of purpose. So your baby, see your children.

I put a lot of unconscious pressure on them. Why a lot of women have empty nest syndrome. Because that's what I've been doing in a way. I want my son to know, excitement in life, the possibility of life and living life to the fullest and what my journey has been doing that myself, finding my sense of purpose, why I want to bring into the world. What feeds me what gives me joy, because I love being with him. I love being his father.

I believe we all have a sense of purpose even beyond being a parent. So my clients put life on hold, because they're scared of what if this happens, why would get pregnant I have clients who, who would soften their head. Whenever house it was up, and we develop it. Cooking was her passion. But she couldn't really cook in the kitchen in the moment because it was a redevelop it and we're scared to start we develop it Why has it got pregnant other clients want to start a business photography business I got a baby photography business for scared me too emotionally difficult for water trying to get pregnant while she was she did all the training, set things up and got pregnant. And time and time again over here this life goes on.

That puts more pressure on the whole process. I say to him, well if you set up a business where he got the architect do some plans for the for the house What if you did sort of get pregnant, you know deal with it. You'll be happy to find out that this is going home because you've got pregnant your mind. We focus on project you. Project baby takes care of itself. The more you know you Okay, whatever happens in everyday life more Inside Out could your baby take care of it?

So just kind of recap where we come to the three misunderstandings is misunderstand the nature of thought. Thought is spontaneous, not only personal, it's personal. It's shaped by your upbringing, your own experiences as you grew up. But it's not personally spontaneous just happens. You don't you have control of it. And when you think you do, nice, settles on its own.

Thoughts are equal. To the misunderstanding, nature of thought, is a misunderstanding of where your human experience is coming from. And nothing makes you feel anything. 100% of your experience of life comes through this filter. And the more we know that the less we'll be scared of any experience have any feeling we can allow it. And we have this duality.

The first one really experiences was my father died. Yes, it was complete grief and loss my first parents and I was fully aware it surprised me that it's real deep sense of grief. But underneath all that inner knowing I was going to be okay. Allow me just to feel the grief not be scared of it. And the inner knowing you that from this moment life is going to be different. Not worse.

Just different. Yes, it's gonna be sadness. But that's okay. Because I'm still okay. Allow me to still feel the grief and express the grief just came out of a very busy mind and it scared of my emotions to bury them. Now more comfortable my motion is going over notice the thought is okay.

And my mom, she thought her life was never gonna be okay again. As my dad died, she thought okayness was the penultimate him being around. So she actually called over how grief became so she never really went over. I named all beings with an artist not dependent on anything. To be scared of any human experience. feelings don't know anything about your life, your situation, whether you're going to get pregnant or not.

They just present themselves if I do. Get caught into it, it's gonna happen. It's really gonna happen. This is not about never feeling those feelings. It's not about being a Zen Buddhist master and going through life in a state of peace of mind all day. is impossible.

For pilaf be really boring. Excitement that's outside in thinking that's looking forward to somebody thinking we're going to enjoy it, thinking that things will give us happiness. We don't get caught up in it we feel it moves on. But then the fear comes on thinking that thing's gonna make me whatever. And we get so caught up in it. Like around around we go train of thought get on this train of thoughts are safe what is allowed.

So these are principles of our human experience, the more you understand these principles, a byproduct of it, is you just feel more content more grounded. Just find more peace of mind. A lot to say, yeah, this really makes sense. How do I do this? How do I stop my thinking? How do I let it go?

This is our How to? Is it like magic Penn and Teller is famous magicians. Who is his TV show the moment where magicians Come on, and they do a magic trick they made up so penitent I've never seen this trip before their lives. These mad magicians had to for Penn and Teller. Most of the time, I don't manage to do it. Because even though parents have never seen these tricks before, they understand the principle of magic so well magics is built upon certain math principles like sleight of hand.

They know them so well. They don't get fooled. Our human experience is created by these three principles. The more we understand them, the less we get tricked by the illusions in our mind. The less we get overcome by the emotional tells us these things are going to happen with the sunny Balto is never going to change. We see so we know you're going to be okay whatever the experience is almost the more we understand these principles or experience, a byproduct is we can be less scared of our experience.

Scared of emotions. I come through like clouds or Gleeson which is no okay. We never have We can just relax into this charity more and more. Take more inspired action know what feels right for us. Knowing whatever whatever happens, we're going to be okay. It takes the pressure off the process.

It's having a baby becomes like a desire rather than the psychological need to keep one hand we know Okay, whatever happens we complete in this moment. The other hand we have a goal and aspiration, let's have a baby or whatever it may be to the business. That's a cool thing to do. We have like the child, we hold the gold lightly. No, okay. Whatever happens is the energy between the two moves forward.

Nobody's any more pressure to perform. We think sometimes we have a stress but a pressure pushes us to get that promotion to achieve that result. No performs it based on any amount of pressure, or success you've had in your life up to now. You could do it now. We fumbled He's a well being without that fear of not succeeding, it don't need that pressure. We perform our best without pressure.

And that pressure doesn't work or facilitates. You can't control it. We couldn't use it. The more we know, okay, whatever happens we can relax into the journey. When you stop trying to control it. Now there's an energy behind life.

There's nothing in Divine it's called our back. We go through this roller coaster of life. There's a deeper energy flowing, taking us somewhere awesome. knows where that journey takes us. It may not take us well expect and may take us way expect for a very unexpected route to let go of expectations which are just future thinking. Like over expectations and allow us to be more present in this moment.

Whatever happens you're gonna be okay. You're that diamond. You're all kinds of energy. Are you feeling Oh no. That is how you feel this moment. I felt a feeling for that feeling is information in a feeling we feel quiet and present ourselves getting into the content, the understanding of the pain.

We don't need to understand everything because you can't avoid thought we thought. It's like a dog chasing his tail. So your soul or your instinct and intuition body. That'd be kind of that space. Your inner wisdom is below we'll think below emotions. My wish for you is to be more aware that space will come into that space don't scared of your human experience and they can move on like a weather system I mean it is more breaks in the cloud you notice a blue sky when you see the blue sky and are you getting in and out in the blue skies still there?

I used to work for an airline and I just loved taking off on a gray wet today because it surprised me the blue sky by the cloud I don't know why kept surprising me those with lovely experience your clouds your weather system, just thoughts and emotions. The blue sky is there with you feeling is your inner knowing that you are okay. As knowing these kinds of thoughts and feelings not you and not lie. The more you say that the more is move on. As always a priest always coming in. So I wish you well on your journey, wherever it takes you.

My wish for you to know that yeah, whatever happens you're gonna be okay.