Here's another great set of techniques This is how to be less of a target. So this is an absolutely dyed in the wool stop them in their tracks, technique, but it will work very, very well for making you a much smaller target and having these challenges far less often. Remember no systems 100% so the first system is make a friend. I love this quote by Abe Lincoln. It says, Do I not destroy my enemies when I make friends of them? I remember there was this old lady We called her the troll.

Well, I thought she was an old lady was probably 35 of the time and she was probably 60. So she looked pretty old to me. But she was just this nasty piece of work. She was always so negative about every single little thing that ever went on. She was manipulative, she was controlling. She was nasty.

She went after people. She always had a harsh word for everybody. And I got stuck on The overnight shift were there. So instead of having a buffer of a dozen people walking around and milling around in the psych unit, it was just me and her alone in a room by ourselves. And I said, Well, I've got to solve this because I can't do eight hour shifts three times a week with this woman between now when I die, not in this state of affairs. So what I did is I simply listened to her and tried to figure out how I could be friends with her.

And I did that by intelligence gathering, I simply listened to things that were going on for her. I asked her question, they said, you know, what do you do for fun? What do you like to do? What's your life? Like? What do you do outside the hospital?

I wanted to find out some personal things about her. And she said, I don't really do anything. Yeah, but when you're not doing anything, when you're actually doing something, what do you actually do? And she said, Well, I go line dance, and sometimes I said, you like line dancing. She says, Oh my god, I love it. You know, me and my husband, we go out and we have these groups and we have these line dancing lessons and we get together awesome.

Buddies and we listen to good music and it's really good exercise. And we make our own costumes and they're absolutely fantastic. And we got these great clothes to wear. And we have different competitions and we get prizes. And then we all go out to eat after and we laugh and we have a few drinks, and win or lose. We just have a great, great time.

So the way I made friends with her was to attach to that. The next day, I would ask her, Hey, do you go out line dancing? Do you have fun with your buddies? Did you get a drink afterwards? anybody tell you any good jokes at the bar? Did you make any new outfits?

Did you practice any new moves? Do you have a competition coming up? And as she's talking about these fun things that she likes to talk about, and she's looking at me and she's enjoying herself and thinking about positive things, and she's looking at me, pretty soon she opposed. She connected me and positive things that made our relationship very strong and very healthy. And she was never You're nasty to me. She was always good to me.

She didn't change. She was still nasty to everybody else but because we become friends, she was good to me and nasty to everybody else. Matter of fact, she was extra good to me. You know why? Because I was probably her only friend. Great technique.

So I call this the Paul poopy theory. It's why do people poop on you? For one reason, and for one reason only, because they can't. If they can't guess what they don't. My recommendation. Don't let people step on you.

Remember, you get the things in your life that you attract and that you will allow. Don't allow people to ever be nasty to you. You stop them in their tracks. Use the techniques that you've learned here. You be assertive and you let them know that that's not okay with you. That's not going to continue and you should shut them down.

Now, this is a great section and I love this section. It's how to deal with specific problem people. There's all kinds of different problem people out there, and I love to break it down and show you how to deal with each type. Because each problem requires a slightly different solution. There's some overlap, you'll see, but we want to be as targeted as possible, so we can be as effective as possible. So problem type number one.

The people that love to whine bitch and complain. Do you know people that bitch whine and complain? Can you think about a buddy that like that in your life? There's an old quote, and I'll share it with you. It says any fool can whine bitch and complain, and most fools do. Why are they whining, bitching and complaining?

Well, it's right here. Black and White for you, because they're a fool. So understand that they're full, have a little bit of compassion. The person is actually too stupid not to whine bitch and complain. They actually confuse whine bitching and complaining, we taking an action. These are the same people that bitch about the government, and then don't vote.

They don't March. They don't make contributions. They don't do anything. They complain about the company, but they never take any action. They don't ever sit down meeting with the boss. They don't try to become management.

They don't make any changes. They're really good at whining, bitching and complaining. So let's move on to the solution. Now the first solution is ask them how they're going to solve the problem. You're gonna get a look like you see it in the graphic is deer in the headlights look, because what you have to realize is their theory was whining, bitching and complaining. He was actually doing something.

If you ask them what they're actually going to do to take an action, they don't even understand what you're asking. It blows their little minds. They don't have an answer for that. They only have they only got as far as how to whine bitching, complain, they never thought about actually solving it. So when he asked him how to solve it, they're going to almost immediately stop talking about it, because they no longer have what anything to say. Here's the other solution.

I call this the proximity rule. Walk away and avoid them in the future. They have to be near you to complain. I remember as a comedian, there's an old joke and he said, Oh, I just realized You're annoying in my legs work. And he started walking away. That was a solution.

That is actually the perfect solution. They have to be within shouting distance to complain. So I just walk away and I avoid them in the future. Very simple technique. Very effective. When I hear somebody whine complaining, I hold the finger up and I say, wait a minute, I just realized I had a meeting.

Hold that thought, and I'll get back to you later, and I walk away. You can also just try ignoring that. I got a little joke here it says this has worked for women's for thousands of years. ignoring them means they'll stop talking to you. Typically when you ignore somebody, when they see they're not getting the attention, they don't repeat the behavior. Remember, we said that you get the behavior that you allow and that you reward your attention is a very subtle reward to people.

People love attention, but they hate to be ignored. So if you pay attention to them the whine bitch and complain and they'll do it more and more and more. If you ignore them. They'll do it less and less and less. Another problem type bossy and aggressive people you know anybody like this in your life? Here's some good solutions for him.

The friend of Just like we talked about before, here's what I want you to remember. If you're taking notes, write this down, friends don't attack friends, this will solve the problem. Next, like hangs out with like, so you can squeeze them out by hanging out with positive people who support you. Negative people will not hang out around positive people and the positive people that you're around will drowned out the negative person. So no matter which one of those techniques works, staying around positive people will work. It'll repel the negative and it will support the positive.

Either way you're going to what you can defeat this person quickly and easily, so much easier than trying to do it on your own. Here's another solution that I love to use for a lot of different styles, kick their butt, you know, just raise the cost of doing business. If they're being aggressive and they're being bossy, set a limit, be assertive, tell them it's not okay. Back them off. Let them know there's a cost to doing this and that you're not going to accept it. So within this technique, you're not allowing it.

Remember, get the things in our life that we allow, you're cutting that out, then people tend to do things that are rewarded and tend to stop doing things that are consequences are punished. So you've given them a punishment here. It'll work for both reasons. Now I call this type of person a sniper. They're the passive not so passive, aggressive type people. They like making funny little jokes, or little comments behind your back, you know, or snide little comments in staff meetings and things like this or when you're around friends or coworkers, they're snipers.

They just make these little comments though. I didn't mean anything by that. No. Everything means something. So, these people are typically difficult to deal with. But I'm going to show you some fast, simple and easy ways to handle them right away.

So solution, I take them aside. So even though they said something to me in public, I take them aside and I let them know that their comments are not okay. And that they need to stop. Once you expose a sniper, they've lost all their power. The power of a sniper is you're getting shot at and he can't figure out where it's coming from. It's covert.

If you make the covert overt, you uncover what is covered. you expose it, the technique no longer works for them, they can't snipe and not be exposed. Now the first time I take them aside and I let them know that their comments are not okay and they need to stop. If they continue to do it. Then I call them out in public and I you technique number two, I asked them publicly, I say, hey, you didn't mean to hurt or disrespect me when you said that, did you? And they're very innocently gonna say, Oh, no, no, I didn't mean anything by that, Paul.

Well, I think they're gonna get it and everybody in the room is gonna get it. I say this very innocently, the first time I asked them publicly. The second time I asked it, I say you didn't mean to hurt or disrespect me when you said that, did you? And when they say, Oh, no, I didn't mean anything by that. I mentioned the history. You've done this several times.

So I'm not really accepting your apologies anymore, and I'm calling you out on it. You need not to be hurtful to other people. You need not to disrespect other people. You state this publicly and they'll no longer do it. They will pick on everybody else because remember, they're snipers. They only like to attack they're cowards.

They only like to attack under cover. Remove those covers, calling them out. That's their worst fear realized, and they will immediately stop. Here's another way to solve it. Have a conversation with their boss and I put boss in quotes here because he can be anybody in their life that has influence over him over them. So who's the boss and I use a little graphic here, the whole TV show literally called who's the boss?

It's anybody that can influence that. A friend, co worker could actually be their boss boss could be their boss's boss's boss. Could be their girlfriend could be their best buddy could be just somebody that they admire or respect. Let that person know that you're having a challenge with them. Ask them if they can help you. And literally help this person say, you know, Joe always likes to make these comments during staff meetings.

It's really making them look bad. It's impacting my job. It's becoming challenging. He's kind of looking like a jerk in front of me. Else, you know, at some point I'd like to think that he'd like to move ahead in the company. And he can't do that when he's doing this sniping and making enemies because nobody's going to support him to management.

So I'm wondering if you can take him aside, gentle reminder word to the wise and let them know that this just isn't going well for him. This is limiting his or her growth. Very effective technique.