So we're going to briefly talk about a movie called a notebook that came out in 2004. And was based off of a book by the same name. People love this movie, and the movie sign. Okay, but I have a real problem with it. And the real problem that I have with it is they did a real disservice when talking about dementia. So apparently Ali right here, spoiler alert, later on has dementia.

And Noah comes to her every day and reads Okay, so you know, in and of itself, okay, sweet story. The problem is they did a really bad job depicting Alzheimer's disease, which is apparently what she has. I also have some questions about like, why this community? Is this assisted living? Is this skilled nursing? I don't know at some point, I don't know.

Anyway, there's this ridiculous theme in the movie that I like to talk about in particular, where they're dancing, and I couldn't get it. Good. A picture so I just put the small one down here. They're dancing. And all of a sudden, you know, she spent Okay, so she spends the great majority of her time having no idea that no is her husband. She just recognize him.

She doesn't, you know, mistaken for anybody else. She just literally doesn't know. Yes. Then they're dancing. And all of a sudden, she kind of like comes out of this dementia fog, if you will. And she says, How long before I forget again, right.

So all of a sudden, she's like, how long do I have before I forget. And he realizes, oh, man, she knows exactly who I am. And he says, Well, last time, it was only a few minutes. And there's this tearful moment and she says, I miss you so much. And he says something like, oh, I've been right here, Honey, I'm never gonna leave you. And then like 12 seconds later, she's like, Who are you?

This is totally nuts. And this is the problem with movie for me is that they do such a bad job depicting dementia here. People really think it's real. So you know, they're really afraid their loved ones gonna come to this point where suddenly they forget who they are. My main problem with this is right around here, how long before I forget again? So it kind of implies that dementia is this magic fog that gets lifted from you every once in a while.

Now there are times working with people living with dementia where they are more quote unquote, lucid, you know, and so there are moments where people are a little bit more in reality, but this suggests that they have kind of like a mask on and the mask is dementia and when the mask is lifted, here they are behind the scenes like Oh, I know I have dementia, and I'm 100% clear behind this magic dementia cloud fog thing. And once it's lifted, I'm totally fine. And that's totally nuts. People are afraid of this. And this is what I refer to, as I say, Oh, come on really is what are referred to as timeline confusion. So not everyone with dementia experiences this when someone does, it essentially means that they have trouble placing someone on a timeline.

It's not that your loved one doesn't know who you are. It's not they don't love you. It's that time isn't really linear in dementia, right. So time kind of slows, at least in our perspective, in a linear fashion. In dementia, this is not how it is. So a lot of people living with dementia kind of this is why they'll mention things that happened decades ago as if they're happening now.

And things that happened, you know, recently as if they're happening from a decade ago, right, so we know this, which explains why someone living with dementia may have trouble recognizing someone that they care about. Right? See if you know this woman is I don't know 85 years old. She looks great. By the way, she is like, let's pretend for the sake of this, that she's 85. Okay?

She thinks that she's 60. And then she sees this older guy walk in, she goes, who's this older guy? This guy must be my son. And this is often what happens, then we'll assign an identity to somebody that isn't that falls on their timeline. If this person is so much younger than they think they are, well, then how could it be their spouse? So time isn't really linear dimension, which is why sometimes people assign you an identity.

It's not that your loved ones forgotten you, right? They obviously have not forgotten you. They know you and they love you. They just can't figure out who you are in time. And I see this fair, you know, I see this often enough. A lot of times I know people who go through their entire dementia process knowing and recognizing and being able to place everybody on the timeline.

Occasionally when it does happen, it's usually Just a mix up of who that person is in relation to time. Not that they go away completely. They don't know you. So don't be afraid to visit somebody, because you have this fear that you're gonna walk in, they're gonna go Who are you? Right? If you walk in and they go, who are you?

Uh, I mean, we just kind of unlikely you can tell them your name. I wouldn't say I'm so and so your daughter? Because if they think well, how the heck are you so old? Right? Say I'm Rachel. And whatever Rachel is to them is going to be you know who they are.

Right? So I'm just gonna come in and I'm going to tell them who I am. And I'm going to be whoever they think I am. I've had residents who call me a different name. I had a woman who called me Susan. And guess what?

I responded to Susan. I was just Susan all the time. And my staff thought it was really funny. But I was always a different Susan for her. You know, sometimes I was a co worker. I was a student.

I was her boss. The point was, it was this right. It This idea of timeline confusion. I was somebody to her she knew I was important. She knew she cared about me. She just couldn't place me on her timeline.