Now here's one of the key skills of a wise leader. They know how to quickly connect with others. Now you'll think, Oh, that's a nice thing. And it's always nice when you're able to connect with others have a decent relationship. I could see where that would help in different situations. You're going to think that this is a small thing.

I'm here to tell you today. This is absolutely positively huge. They wrote an entire book about this, it was called likability and likability is a key thing we do business with, and we follow. It's a persuasion tool. We follow people that we know we like hear the word like and trust. So your staff knows you but do they like you?

We talked about trusting you when we were talking about being genuine with people you be genuine so that people can trust you. Now they know you like you. trust you, if you have this skill, this is the skill of likability. How do you make a quick connection with other people so that they like you, if they like you, if you're able to connect with people, you're going to get the following three benefits. One, it is the key to sales 80% of why a sale goes through is the other person likes you. They call it establishing rapport.

Rapport is a big fancy psychology term, it's actually French. That simply means you've made a good solid, heartfelt connection with somebody else. So it's huge for sales. It's used for making change, which is influencing people getting them to move in a new direction, take a new action, to be a leader to create change, and three loyalty. So these people will do the extra for you. They'll stay with you, they'll protect you, all those great things that loyalty creates that we talked about earlier in the training.

So this is not a small thing. So you have to learn the social skills of how to be able to connect with others quickly. Now, as a therapist, I literally have seconds to do this. I would come in, and I would have one hour, maybe an hour and 15 minutes. And I would have to do an entire 16 page assessment with a person. I would have to get them to be open and honest with me in talk about things, like traumas, rapes that they had had in the past jail time that they had served divorces, children, that they had lost traumatic childhoods.

Can you imagine getting that level of rapport where somebody would open up to you? And they literally met you five minutes ago? And you're already asking them these kinds of questions. How do you do that? Well, that's a great question. That would be an entire training in and of itself, but there's certain things that you can do that help you to connect with people quickly.

One strategy that I use I'll teach you very quickly, is simply what they call attending skills. Attending skills mean that you treat everybody you meet as if they're your very best friend. So your best friend comes to the door, they knock on the door, tending skill number one, answer the door quickly. You open the door tending skill number two, big handshake, smile, maybe give them a hug depends on your level of connection, right? You want to show that you're thrilled to see this person literally like your best friend is just showing up. If you've ever seen two women at the airport where they suddenly meet each other, after they haven't seen each other for like five years or 10 years, they go screaming and running and flailing their arms, run across the airport and hug each other.

Not quite that level of enthusiasm, but that style of enthusiasm, where you're just excited to see. I was always excited to see my clients because I knew it was what I call the beginning of the end. Their life was going to get better Fast the next 30 days, their life would be transformed. I was excited to be the first part of that change. And I knew if I was the first part of that change in a good part of that change, they were excited just to see me. I gave them a different impression of what it was gonna be like to go through this change than what they thought which was long, slow, painful, arduous.

They would have a wonderful experience. So the next attending skills you got the person you ran over to the door, he agreed, I'm like your best friend is immediately having come in. He say Have a seat. What can I get you give them something that creates reciprocity, and it also creates something called obligation. Would you like some bottled water? Would you like a cup of coffee or some snacks free, I was just having some wine and cheese, whatever.

Give them something, offer them something. Then start talking to them and listening about them. This is called conversational generosity. Let them connect with you. Ask questions simply to get them to talk more, and maybe to talk about some personal things. How's the wife, the kids, the dog.

These are all good attending skills, complimenting them on things they say. So there's a lot of good ways to use these attending skills. Just remember be a really good friend to everybody you meet. Like they're already your friend not becoming your friend. They're instantly your friend, and they will follow your lead and literally instantly become your friend. It's amazing.

I went down to a little club called the hideaway the other day. didn't know anybody says in St. Petersburg, Florida. Nice little bar and restaurant, beautiful place and met a couple I was just having a drink at the bar and reading a book always reading a book, right. And this was a pet friendly place. So I know people love their dogs. And I just walked right up to him and I said, Does your dog bite?

And they said no and I started petting the dog. August, I got three dogs on my own. Absolutely love them. This is a beautiful animal. You're so lucky. Now, people love their pets.

If you love their pets, if you compliment them on their pets, they will love you. It's kind of like my relationship with my wife. She likes me but she loves her three dogs. she hugs and kisses them and cuddles them before I ever get anything. Everyday when she walks the door. Now it helps it they're clawing at the door and barking and jumping up and down the window.

Maybe if I do the same thing, I'll get the same result. But you know what I mean, people love their animals. This was an instant way to connect. There's always an instant way to connect. If somebody came to me at the bar and said, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you, but what are you reading there? They would instantly connected with me.

If I'm reading it. I'm obviously interested in it. So you can always pick up on one little thing that you can use to connect with somebody. Find that simple connection. Have fun with that. One of the techniques that I use is I play with people.

We tease and cajole about things. I told him that was a beautiful animal. This is an absolutely gorgeous dog. Do they know any tricks, and we laughed about some of the tricks they could do, or some of the tricks that they couldn't do. If you engage somebody in this way, they'll almost always make a little joke or a little comment about their dog that you can play off of. Now, because you're talking about the dog.

You can say things that you couldn't say to them. That's a great end. They call that an in it's an opening to tease play kinjal I saw a lady at the in the line at Walmart, local store, the big chain here, and I saw she had a bottle of wine in her cart. I just simply turned to her and said, I love that kind of wine says, Oh, yeah, I love it too. And I said, Where's the party? I want to make sure I get there early.

And she she laughed and giggled and said, Oh, yeah, yeah, we're having it later. Tonight. We're just getting together with some friends. You'll need to swing by. See how I instantly got invited to the party. Now she was just kidding.

She wasn't gonna actually give me her address. But it was a way to tease and play with somebody. When we play with somebody just like when we were little kids, who did you play with? Only people who were your friends. People don't play with people anymore. When you can play with people, let them have fun with things.

Make a joke about something, make something in the fun thing like when you were a kid, they will absolutely positively love you. So remember the benefits of connecting you make a sale. This could be selling a product to somebody or selling our staff members on an idea. create change, you can influence people to follow your ideas to follow your plans to follow your vision to make some kind of change in therapy. I get them to change what everything Do you know in therapy 75% of people. The reason why people change is that they know you like you and trust you it's rapport with the therapist, everything that we've Talking about the other 25% is everything else you do with a client.

But once you have that rapport, once you have that connection, you can create massive change. loyalties. The third thing, if your staff isn't loyal, you are in trouble. They're not going to follow you. They're not going to do the extra for you. They're not going to protect you.

They're not going to let you know when there's challenges out there in the business, they're not going to bring their best ideas to you, you absolutely need to have this so why isn't leader knows how to connect quickly with others. This is a major tip and you need to nail down these strategies. Like I said, I can't completely do it in this course. But if you haven't challenges in this area, go ahead and take a secondary course on how to connect with others how to build that kind of rapport. A lot of your sales tapes will talk about this so you can check in on those. Let's move on to the very next tip.

Now this is a great one and this will help you become a great leader. Share the Credit generously. Even if people had a minimal impact on things, try to give them maximum credit. A poor leader takes all the credit and the people that worked underneath them. They're like, Hey, I remember doing 90% of this work. Why are you taking 100% of the credit?

I like to give all the credit away and then my staff will give it back to me. When my boss congratulates me and getting this project done, I tell him or her that I had a wonderful team couldn't have done it without them. I point out what each person on the team has done to help or at least the major players and I let them know that I'm grateful. I'm thankful I'm appreciative and that I am making them look good in front of their boss's boss. I guarantee you that staff will love you and adore you. Thank you are just the bomb for not having taken the credit or have taken very little.

Your boss will also look at your staff, see how they look at you, they will admire that you gave away the credit. And they will know that ultimately, yes, your staff did all the work, but I remember putting you in charge of them. This got done. Therefore your boss will blame all the wonderful things that happened on you. And they'll also see you is very humble. Not somebody that's trying to grab credit, and really be an egomaniac, but somebody that's humble, sincere, has the support their team is generous.

These are wonderful things to show your staff and your boss at the exact same time through one simple technique, which is sharing the credit generously, and it's just a beautiful, heartfelt way to live. That's it for this section. I'll see you in the next section. You're absolutely crushing it. Looking forward to it. See you in just a moment.