Hello, and welcome to the next lecture in the fourth section of the course. And this lecture is about how our transformations through gratitude, make us judge others less and love others more. And, you know, that's important because it improves the quality of our lives. It helps us to improve the quality of other people's lives. And it improves our relationships because it can be both strangers, acquaintances, coworkers, and people that we love family and friends. And so there's a quote that is be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

And it's just basically about being compassionate and not judging because you never know what someone is going through. And so, sometimes no matter how you think you might know someone you cannot judge what burdens they might be carrying around. It's easy to think that easygoing people might not be going through something might be easy for easygoing people to judge more emotional people, but less explored the last six concept is that we emotional people can judge those that seem calm to us on the surface. And so I think the book Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen is a great example of this. I use a lot of literature examples because it helps people to see it in practice, along with real life examples, in Sense and Sensibility. Marianne Dashwood chases after the dashing Willoughby, the handsome Willoughby and he's very aloof and very charismatic, but he's not very loyal.

And so she gets her heartbroken. And she makes a scene and then realizes that love was right in front of her eyes with Colonel Brandon, who is attentive and stable, and yet there's more there too. And then she realizes it first. And that happens to us a lot. Sometimes we have more going than we realize. And then Maryann is she's sort of a rocky mountain stream with white foaming emotional rapids raging around the rocks of her consciousness, emotions overpowering her body.

In her mind always wearing her heart on her sleeve. One way is not better than another, but it's just a demonstration of how two people can be different. For example, her older sister Eleanor Dashwood is reserved quiet and practical, and she seems to be the epitome of propriety, and always refuses to confide her feelings in her younger sister Marianne or anyone else for that matter. And she forms a deep bond and friendship with a young man named Edward Ferrer's and, Edward they are separated by circumstances because their duties pull them in separate directions and they're both very responsibility conscious, and Eleanor carries this burden around with her of missing this guy. In one day, she happens to meet a young lady in a social setting, she befriends her and then she finds out that this young lady is secretly engaged Edward now Edward should have told Eleanor about it but they're sworn to secrecy of their engagement.

Eleanor carries the burden of her broken heart keeping her word, keeping her mouth shut, and seemingly acting almost indifferent. But in a turn of unexpected circumstances, her friends engagement is broken and Edward is free to marry Eleanor will all her emotions come gushing to the surface and Marian and her mother are shocked to know that she's carried this around for so long. And at the end of the story, Mary entails Eleanor Marian being the emotional one, that she should have endeavored to be more like her sister, and she never imagined her sister was carrying around so much, or the rapids beneath the surface of her sister's calm exterior. And so that's just basically a demonstration of you can't always judge people based on what they look like or how they act because you never know what they're going through. And gratitude does teach us to judge people less and love other people nor more.

And so we cannot avoid difficult experiences. They're going to happen and they can do one of two things to us, make us bitter. transform us and make us better. They can make us better or better. But what we can control is how we choose to respond to them. Gratitude allows them to transform us.

And I shared a quote near the beginning of the course by by Elisabeth Kubler Ross and I want to share it again because I think it's very appropriate here and it was the most beautiful people we have known or those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that feels them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep love and concern. Beautiful People do not just happen. And so sometimes people with the deepest secrets hurts and emotions have the most calm exterior are the ones that support us when we're down. The ones who always seem to be the calmest and most stable, and I know now that you simply never know what someone is going through. And I bet someone who was always there for you is like that.

And they are the best friends and yet going through their own peaks and valleys, and once that sometimes we don't even know about. And I've learned that you cannot look at someone's common cheerful expect exterior and assume there's nothing wrong, you simply never know. Likewise, and like the Kubler Ross quote, when we have been through the peaks and valleys, we no longer judge those who are in the earlier stages of their evolution, or those that are a torrent of emotions, problems and issues that are easy to spot. We have been there and we know what it feels like in transformation through these experiences changes our perceptions towards these people. We no longer look down on them, but identify with them. The same is true for all people.

We learn not to judge by being judged not to judge by experiencing difficulties. And there is a famous saying and I'll repeat it again, be kind for everyone you meet is fine. A hard battle. I will see you in the next lecture, which will be quick win for and the end of Section four