Welcome back, you're almost at the halfway point in the course. So congratulations to you, as a parent or caregiver for focusing on yourself as a means to having a better relationship with your child. So oftentimes, as parents, we hear advice on what we should have done in a certain situation when there was a problem behavior, but we never really talked about what we should do when there's appropriate behavior. So I want to focus on first, what we can do to promote an increase a positive behavior. We want to see more of that behavior. The first thing I like to do is give attention.

We put down our phone and we just hang out with our kid. We can read with them and and do things that are engaging for your child. And by doing this, we're showing them that we value their behavior we show them we value what they're doing right then And we'd much rather engage with them when they're doing appropriate behaviors. Think back to the behavior scale. Another thing we can do is what I call be amazed. I think about my own child that when she was maybe two or three, at the dinner table, she's eating her food.

And I would play this game where I would say, I would say, where'd you go? Where'd it go? I would look under the table looking or look around, look under her shirt. And she'd be pointing at her tummy. Right? You say, Daddy, I ate it.

What? You ate all that fruit? I'm amazed. Right? So my daughter has this playful smile. She's so into this activity.

Now, I didn't do this every single time of course. But every so often I would do that to show her that when she's doing appropriate behaviors. Good things happen. Daddy does something silly sometimes. So think about that, when you're when you're finding your childhood. Something appropriate, be amazed at their behavior.

So you could also say, Where did all the toys go? who cleaned up this mess? You did. And you're amazed at their behavior, right? So kids eat that up. And they have the sweetest smile on their face.

And they know they've pleased others. So another thing we can do is when when your child's doing something appropriate is give them behavior specific praise. This one is so important, so I'm going to repeat it. It's called behavior specific praise. So oftentimes, when your kids do something, right, we say, job, awesome way to go. But when we give them specific praise, we're giving them specific feedback on what behavior we want to see more of.

It's helping them replicate their behavior for the next time. So think about a child who's learning how to make their bed. So instead of saying good job way to go You did it, we could actually say specifically what was good. We can say, wow, I really like how you made it so straight. I like how it's so flat. Right?

So the next time they're making their bed, they're going to be thinking, straight, flat. Right? So you're giving them what they should replicate the next time. We could use that for many different behaviors, our children are exhibiting and say to them, this is exactly what I like about your behavior. I think you could think of something specifically that from your childhood or just recently or someone giving you specific praise. Maybe it was a teacher or a parent or a stranger, someone said something specific about your behavior.

And you remember that for many years to come back out you can ever remember someone ever telling you Good job. I remember A teacher from middle school Mrs. Ratan. She told me that she loved that I sat in the front row. And she loved that I sat up in class. I had no idea I was doing this at the time. But I remember that I remember her telling me sitting in the front row and sitting up.

I did that for many years to come in high school and even up till grad school, because it was a way for me to remember to concentrate during class, and to be on the teachers good side. The next thing I like to do when my child is doing something appropriate or correct, is I like to take things away from them. I always get a good reaction out of parents. I'm not taking away their iPad, I'm not taking away their toys. I'm taking away things that are non preferred. So think about maybe a child who's doing their homework assignment or cleaning a room.

Wow. You're you're doing an amazing job. I really liked how You cleaned up this side. I'll take this side of the room, I'll take this away, I'm going to clean up this one for you. Wow, you've been working really hard on this assignment, you're doing something correct. Don't worry about these last two problems.

I'll help you with those. Wow, you're you're eating almost your whole plate of vegetables. Don't worry about the last two pieces, I'll eat those. So you're taking things away, that might be non preferred for your child. A child again learns when they're doing appropriate behaviors, good things happen. We're just showing that with our behavior that we want to see more of theirs.

Now, how are you doing with monitoring and responding to your child and positive way remember the behavior scale. So each of these lessons will build upon the next so you must take what you learned. Apply it, and then we're going to build on your skill. So don't forget those. Keep working on them. And come back next lesson.

We'll teaching you what you can do when your child is displaying problem behaviors. You won't want to miss this one