All right, you've made it. You made it to the big one. This module is going to be packed with practical and easy to implement strategies. I use these five strategies with children all day long. I use it with my own kids as well as the kids. I work with kids with special needs kids with severe behavior challenges.

I cycle through these five throughout my day. And these strategies allow me to maintain amazing relationships with children. They also helped me to increase the behaviors I want to see more of and decrease the behaviors that drive me crazy. I've titled this set of strategies, the right approach, I named it the right approach. Just because it's easy. It's easy to remember as each letter will stand for a different strategy.

Our first one up is our our redirect. redirect is such an amazing way to help our children to de escalate from level two or three, four level frustration. It may not be very effective for a level eight, nine or 10 frustrations, and we'll talk about that later on about things you can do each time when your child's throwing an all out tantrum. But before they reach a level 10 we can help them refocus their attention on something else, and we can move on with the rest of our day. redirection helps to avoid what I call chaining chains where we, we tell the child to do something and they do something different. And we don't like it, and we tell them to do something else.

And they and we keep having this reaction, and it keeps building and building and our frustration is getting more and more compound. So I'm sure you can think of a specific situation where you might have thought I just told my kid not to kick me in literally two seconds later that came over and kicked me and now I'm quite angry. So redirecting the child avoids that chaining and progression of frustration, also catches them off guard. The child may be expecting us to say no, no thank you. But instead, I'm going to redirect them. I need to get their attention on to something else.

So a while ago, I was at a restaurant with my family and my daughter starts getting really irritated by something on the table. The bread they served was not up to my three year old standards. So I'm sitting there as a parent, just like and I don't want to. I want to sit here and listen to this kid whining about the bread. So I thought real quick redirection. See purposeful interaction.

So let me try to redirect my child. So I said, Hey, did you tell mommy what we saw at the beach today? All of a sudden her eyes light up. I saw crab. Mommy I saw a crab. Now we're talking about crab we're talking about the beach and all the different shells we saw in a minute later, she's eating the bread.

We enjoyed the rest of our dinner and no other thought was paid to the bread. We were then able to focus on her positive side of the behavior scale. Give her that behavior specific praise. Tell her how well she's sitting at a restaurant and how well she's eating. This could have gone totally different. me saying, oh, okay, calm down, calm down.

It's just bread. We're sitting, right. And now we have this back and forth chain reaction. She's getting irritated. So my, I just redirected and we moved on. Another thing redirections help with is limiting our demands placed on a child.

So if you were to think of all the demands you put on your child throughout the day, if you were to keep a tally of how many demands, you'd be amazed, probably be close to 200 300 demands Put that down. Look at me. Don't touch that. Put the shoes on, brush your teeth all day long. Again, if your boss gave you that amount of demands each and every day it's laughable, right? So if you're giving that many demands to your children, you're going to find that they're not going to be very compliant.

They're going to be thinking, holy crap, this is a ton of demands. I cannot function like this. I cannot to deal with you telling me what to do all day long. So rather than us telling the child what to do all day long, we can redirect them, we can show them what we want them to focus on. My idea of redirect is not waving something in their face that has no meaning or is likely not to grab their attention. After playing toys with with the child, instead of giving them a demand time to clean up.

I need your help, please help me, you can just state what you're doing. Alright, I'm gonna clean up the animals and dive into it. A good percentage of the time, kids will just jump on right it with you. I'll clean up the food. Now we got that. Now we're gonna load them up with all the credit and all the praise.

Hey, look at you. You're always so helpful. I love when you help me clean up the toys. So sometimes a redirection has no connection with the kid. I'm going to focus my attention on something else and not even acknowledge them. So I remember one time again with my daughter.

She was probably three or four. having a really hard time getting out of the bathtub downstairs. I was upstairs I heard really loud crying and screaming downstairs. So I gave it a minute. I let my wife kind of handle it. Finally, I was like, man, I should go check it out.

So instead of me coming downstairs, what's going on? Why are you crying? You? Right? And me jumping in and taking control the situation. I just went down there.

I threw myself on the floor as if I was looking for something. I'm looking around, I'm looking under the bed, looking under the couch. My my daughter immediately stops crying. Daddy, what are you doing daddy? And I ignored her and kept looking until she was completely calm. Looking for something, I'm looking for a toy.

And now she's on the floor with me looking and looking. And I finally had I finally found what I was looking for. And we moved on. She got dressed and 10 minutes later, we have that conversation about her being Hear what was going on earlier? Why were you crying? Because I wanted a little bit more time in the bathtub.

Oh, you want more time in the bathtub, what's a better way you could ask for it. So now she's got a strategy a skill for the next time she wants more time in the bath time. She knows what to do, she knows how to ask for another minute, we may need to practice this skill outside of the actual activity. This is important because this lowers the expectation for both the child and ourselves to complete the task in a reasonable amount of time and can also be fun. It's a fun activity for both you and the child. half your kid do the appropriate way and also the inappropriate way.

Have them identify the difference. So at some point, before my daughter's next bath, I have her hopped in the dry bathtub. ever play with their toys reminder of our new skill. She's going to work on I tell her all right times up. Now she can either request more time or be all done. So after the redirection, your child is now focused on what you want them to focus on.

But I'm not going to forget about their behavior, whether it was the pinching or kicking or screaming at the top of her lungs. That behavior is going to be dealt with, but at the time, it ain't gonna happen. No one's going to get anything effective across when a kid is screaming or crying. So head on over for the next lesson and learn about the second part of the right approach.