In this section, I'd like to talk to the control freaks. You know who you are. In fact, it would surprise me if you're not all control freaks, because in general, I find that angry people are big control freaks. Now, even if you don't move yourself so far as a control freak, you have been using control. And you've been using anger with control as a way to make the world do what you wanted to do. This is going back to that personal understanding that in order for me to be safe, and well, the world has to bring me feelings of safety and wellness.

And it's the misunderstanding that those feelings come from what happens outside instead of the diatribe the creation of our own mind. So yes, what happens with you when you think that control will bring you safety and happiness? You go into the world, you decide how things should look. Yep, he's back now your son. Now seems as though it's obvious to everybody how things should look, it seems as though socially speaking, we should all know what things should look like how people should behave, how people should treat her. And, bizarrely, that doesn't happen.

People don't behave in the way we want them to behave, then we don't treat us the way that we would like to be treated. So we must understand them that actually our belief that is all very obvious, and people should all behave in this way, must in some way be flawed or wrong, completely. So what do we do? We stuck an idea out about them and we say, Well, you know, in order for me to feel safe and well and loved and cared for and okay and acceptable and worthwhile human being, this thing needs to happen. People must arrive on time when I buy things or people must do the work. I asked him to do well, the kids must turn the lights off when I tell him to turn the lights off and not see the lights burning in the house, or one of the million tiny little things that make her feel enraged.

This is a misunderstanding, and it is destined to make us feel angry. It is destined to make us feel unsafe, and to respond with anger. Let me show you how it follows that if I have an understanding or belief that in order to be well, or Okay. All the things that I want to go according to my plan must go according to my plan. Then it follows that anytime these things don't go according to my plan, I must by default and extension, then feel unwell and angry. If I've linked the two things together, I have to feel unhappy.

I have to feel angry. If things don't go according to my plan. So the irony is that the very thing that I'm using in order to help me to feel okay, and to not have to feel angry, is the very thing that is turned around biting me in the bum and making me feel angry. It's trust that I'm setting for myself. Now what happens if I could just for one moment in my life, begin to understand something, and that is that there are 7 billion people on this planet, and I'm only one of them. And I'm not responsible for how other people think.

And I'm not responsible for how other people behave, and they are not responsible for me. And I don't make the sun come up in the morning, I don't make the sun go down. And all these burdens that I've been carrying about what has to be in what should be and how things should look and how they're supposed to be, or not actually mine to carry. And then although I have energy and influence and ability to do my work and ability to have intention in the world, my ability to control the world is So very, very tiny. And yes, I'm grasping with everything to try and make my control stuff in the offline experience. So that when it comes back to me, I can feel okay.

What do you think would change? If you no longer had to make everything? What do you think would change if you were able to accept what it is? Instead of what you want it to be? Michael Neal, he's amazing author and speaker. He has a metaphor that he speaks about, which is a metaphor for horse.

I'm going to share that with you right now. Imagine in your life you're on a horse, you're riding towards the destination. You suck the destination audio sound and then you probably put it up there and forget you made it up. This is what we all do. And so we're going on the way I feel exactly that way. And we're pulling and pulling with all our minds we're pulling with all of that energy we're working and we're working with the horse doesn't want to go that way.

Angry much, feeling pissed off much feeling vulnerable and unsafe much. Well, if you were to zoom back a little bit, you would see that that horse is actually a rocking horse. The truth of your life experiences that you don't have all that much control over whether your goal or your intentional, what you want to have happen, is going to happen. You've got other people, you've got the environment, economic environments, you've got the winners, you've got everything else going on. That was never under your control. And the only thing that you can do on a rocking horse is rock the horse so you can apply energy to your life and intention and will and motivation and excitement and adventure and make the horse rock.

But if the horse is a rocking horse, you can't necessarily make it. And actually rocking is quite nice. If you move back from this picture, you'll see that the rocking horses on the back of a flatbed truck and you're not driving, you will never try me. You don't make the sun come up in the morning and go down at night. You don't dictate to all the people on the planet have said that they should behave or what they should think, or how should they should get along in life or what they value. So the moral of the story structure of laughs should be you're not driving that truck.

You're just one of the many people tapping on the shoulder, the driving thing, go that way, go that way, go that way. I'm giving you energy go that way, go that way. And maybe you'll be lucky. And you will end up going that way. And your energy and your effort and your motivation and your drive will help to steer this track in that direction. And you'll get What you want.

And for that brief moment, you'll feel so safe and so secure and so happy about that thing. And then you'll be off to the next mission. And you won't even give it the time of day. And your unconscious mind will say, you see, when things go according to my plan, I feel okay. And it will con you, but it's because of your plan that you feel safe and okay. You see the very thing that we're trying to use to make ourselves feel safe and okay and happy is the very thing that is doing the opposite.

We have to fall into the trap of anger. If we're attached to an outcome that we don't have control over. And we have 100% control over next to nothing. So it's time to start looking at all this control. All of this lack of acceptance of borders All of this stretching the truth to what you think it should be instead of living with what actually is the truth. There are only two possibilities here.

You can be an angry control freak or you can be happy. You can be boss. You can be angry determined about what things should look like and how people should behave and what the truth should be. Or you can be happy. So in order to be happy and let go of anger, you must let go of your ideas of what things should look like how people should behave, what the world should be bringing to you and learn to live with the truth of what actually your experiences