To lure you into their way of perceiving the world, your narcissistic spouse will dangle attractive bait like money, success, power, or influence. Then when you least expect it, the bait is used against you in an attacking fashion. “You only married me for the money, you are such a whore.”

Accusations = Secrets. In this case, the narcissist accuses you of improper behavior such as adultery. Most likely this is the defense mechanism of projection, where the narcissist is the with the adultery secret, not you.

Blowups = Diversion. When a narcissist rants for no real reason during a divorce, this is frequently a diversion from something that is the problem. Think of it as complaining about a lite candle when the house is burning down.

Gifting = Attention. There is no such thing as a "free" gift from a narcissist. Usually, this is done to gain attention or favor from you. The gift is usually expensive and unnecessarily extravagant to increase responsiveness.

Innocent Delays = Guilty Actions. Narcissists are famous for excessive motions, delaying hearings, and dragging out meditations. These tactics are done to cover up their guilty actions and cause you to give in prematurely.