The saddest part of divorcing a narcissist is the impact that it can have on the children. When the parents are together, there is one parent constantly available to provide attachment and empathy. However, the child then grows up to believe that narcissistic behavior is acceptable. Apart, things become muddy for the child.

Disney parenting. The first tactic a narcissistic parent tries after the custody is settled is to become the Disney parent. This is the fun, exciting, never a dull moment, “I will get you whatever you want,” and rules can be broken method of luring the child away from the other parent and towards the narcissist.

Parental alienation. Next, the narcissist begins to alienate the child from the opposite parent by pointing out the flaws, inconsistencies, discipline and hurt the narcissist has felt at the hands of the other parent. This causes the child to shy away from one parent in favor of the narcissist.

Picking favorites. When one child does not conform, the narcissist will single out that child as disrespectful, ungrateful, irresponsible, and rebellious. Then they shower the other child(ren) with gifts, praises, and attention. This creates conflict within the sibling group.

Custody threat. Whenever the spouse does not agree with the narcissist or their parenting, there are threats of changing the custody arrangement. This threat is sometimes carried out, not because the narcissist wants more time with the child, but because they are trying to hurt their ex-spouse.