5 Bad Things Happen

Traits of Executive You: Part 6 - Resilience 6 Traits of Executive You: Resilience
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Transcript

So no matter how hard we work, what kind of mindset we have, bad things will happen to us. Jobs are lost relationships and and people die. These things happen to all of us at some point in our lives. And different people have different ways of coping with these kinds of setbacks. What traits predict how some people recover after life changing events, and others have a much more difficult time. Dr. Martin Seligman has spent decades studying psychology and has found that three P's can start your recovery from any trauma.

The first is permanence. Like this guy's tattoos refers to the belief that negative events and or their causes are permanent, even when logic evidence and past experience indicate that they are probably temporary. Things like I failed that math test. I'll never be good at math, versus I failed that math test. I need to work harder next time. The next one is pervasiveness which refers to the tendency to generalize so that negative features of one situation are thought to extend to all others as well.

Things like nobody likes me versus I didn't get invited to the party. When you take that point of view, it makes you think that you aren't good at anything, and you become hopeless. And thirdly, personalization. So this is the component that says that we tend to attribute negative events to our own personal character flaws versus a situation that you're in. It's important to take ownership of our mistakes, but it's also important to forgive ourselves and move on and realize that you can change and often there's not even a need to blame yourself because things that happen have nothing to do with you. So very important not to personalize any of these situations too much.

Richard to dashi, and Lawrence Calhoun are two psychologists who've While studying grieving parents who lost a child that not only did they suffered trauma and devastation, but they also often experienced growth in the face of their loss. losing a child is certainly the worst thing that could happen to you. But we will all likely experience some sort of traumatic loss throughout our life, losing a loved one, going through a divorce, job loss, or not getting what you want, not getting the job, the promotion, the partner, etc. Post Traumatic Growth can take five forms first is that our personal strength can improve. We've all heard what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And this is true to a point.

Facing and getting through traumatic events can make us much better able to handle other challenges that life throws our way. Once we know we can survive, we can do much better next time. The next growth area is gaining appreciation. Once we face nificant challenges, it gives us a more a much greater appreciation for what we actually do have in our lives. Thirdly, trauma can help us build deeper relationships. When people live through a tragedy together or suffer similar tragedies, they often develop very strong bonds and relationships.

They know how the other person feels, they trust each other, and can be vulnerable with their feelings. Fourthly, it can give us greater meaning in life. significant loss teaches that we are not the center of the universe, and that there is something bigger out there, no matter what our spiritual beliefs are. And finally, it can help us see new possibilities. Many people rethink their lives and change their path after significant loss. If you didn't get that job you wanted and after much effort, you don't think your chosen path is right for you.

Try something different, that will bring you happiness, because that's really what it's about. Well, you've demonstrated resilience and making it all the way through this course. Resilience is a key skill to succeed in all sorts. aspects of our lives. We all face challenges that is life. But we can learn how to deal with these challenges so that we can grow and develop and become more successful.

Successful financial executives are not born, they are made. They are made through inspiration, perspiration, and motivation. Thanks for being with me today.

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