Sometimes pretending you're fine when you're not can have quite long term damage due repercussions. So let's take the story of Sharon. Sharon married very young, and although she loved Pete's very deeply, she felt a little bit trapped in the marriage. So Pete's had many affairs during their marriage, and she thought that by falling pregnant, you would change his ways. When they had their son Oliver, she felt even more trapped and stuck in the marriage and her anger at Pete for cheating on her worse and every day. She told herself it didn't bother her, but it really did.

One day she walked into the kitchen and told Pete she wanted to divorce. She packed her bags and left within an hour of telling him. She took over to her mother's house for a few weeks, and then she decided to go clubbing every single night. She danced and drank too early hours of the morning and she went home with Rick who she just made it because she and Oliver moved in with Rick Three weeks later. So began the journey. After eight years of drug and alcohol abuse, so during this time she called people many times to say she was absolutely fine and she totally forgave him for everything that had happened.

But Sharon was not fine for substance abuse affected her in all of his lives. And it was only when she lost custody of Oliver to Pete that it began to dawn on her, but she had never processed her feelings from her divorce. She had spent eight years avoiding her emotions. So eventually she broke up with Rick and she booked herself into a rehab and she committed to the journey of healing. She realized that there were no shortcuts and she needed to get her life back on track. Pete actually say that he knew she was completely comfortable with a breakup would you call them one night to say how angry she'd been for so many years, she admitted that she had finally found the courage to forgive him.

So it's really important that when you're kind of dealing with a breakup or divorce, that you take your time and you sort of sleep on any drastic changes you want to make in your life. Because if you live hedonistic Go crazy book a one way ticket to India. So you can go and find yourself will do something equally, you know, outlandish like shave your head or or whatever, you're actually putting yourself and your life on a completely different track that might not be of your choosing. Sharon chose to put an end to her days of hedonism and she chose to heal from her breakup for real. So make sure you don't fall prone to that particular brand of false healing.