This is gonna be really interesting. This is where it gets real. We're gonna do childhood and you're programming. I've done this long enough to identify a stress and show you how it was created in childhood. This is my life's work because childhood. There is no filter on you.

That is where you come in with a blank slate. And a child doesn't have the ability to filter to discern. It just is. So therefore you're programmed and everything is set around you everything you watch everything you see everything you experience becomes life for you. And then it sits then that goes in your jar. Java and that's where it starts.

So all those things that Nikki had inside the jar, I will find in childhood. And I'm doing it it's like having to rebuild your whole house. Sometimes if they're really big, if you've had sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and you're you've watched it. taking that out is like saying, I've just got to demolish the house and rebuild the foundation. Yeah, we need to pull out everything that you saw and heard. And that's when sometimes you go through this thing called dark night of soul because it's painful, dark night of the soul is it say, you know what, I'm going to look at this.

I'm going to clean my body out. I'm going to Meditate, I'm going to write about things I'm going to do as a, like this process. And there are other processes of healing that child changing that child's perception and looking at her and saying, and getting real because a lot of people, it was so bad, they'd rather just don't look at it. It hurts too much. But we've got to look at it and we've got to acknowledge it. So yeah, it's a bit like, it's a bit like shattering you.

And it wasn't until actually joined the Mormon Church, not that I recommended, but 2626 I was thinking about this I joined the Mormon Church, because I've been praying for Jesus to come to me because I was Catholic before that, and my life was a mess. And I was living in the UK and then I went to fall at a Turkish Turkish guy. don't recommend that either. to Florence, but at least he took me to a great city. Of course, it didn't work out. Hello.

And I don't I was so desperate, I bumped into an Australian woman. And then I just had this prompting, call them anyway, so I did. And then the rest is history. I joined the church. I was a member for 18 years. But that was the process that stopped me from killing myself because I was drinking smoking self drugs, softer, destructive behaviors.

No, you know, just like terrible. I hated myself. And that took me out of that environment and took me into a clean environment. No drinking, no smoking, no tea, no coffee, no alcohol, no. Smoking, no boyfriend. My boyfriend left me no sex before marriage.

Yeah. So everything and it was strange. He would have thought that I would have gone through withdrawal symptoms, right, just giving everything up. But I had this such a strong, powerful spiritual upliftment. I felt like I was on cloud nine for home. That was like, amazing.

And then I met my soulmate. And I talked about that in my book freeing the unloved girl, my soulmate, like the man that was of my dreams. And, of course, I did marry him because he left the church and, you know, I had I had a lot of martyrdom, it was like a martyrs life I was living No, I'm gonna die for that. I'm just as true I can't not married outside the church. So everything went as it should have been. And but the thing was the Mormon churches, they always said, God is speaking to God will tell you, God is will help you and answer you.

So and I was always asking, God will tell me and you had to just feel and I was always trying to feel the answers. So that was got me prepared for then living this life. So that was good. You know, like you probably wrote down some bits are good in your relationship. And some bits maybe not so good. But after a while, those good bits.

Were just to listen to the journey. So sometimes it's like well, I'm there and serve a purpose and then you might need to move on. It served a purpose to say I don't deserve that anymore. And mormon church what happened with that it was great and then it was really bad at the end. I'm married end up marrying a woman whose family were terrible during the church, but the universe was telling me Get the hell out of there and I was fighting it because I was kind of stuck in it. I believed it to be true.

So I had spiritual experiences. But now I look back and I go boy, the universe was making it really awful. It was so bad. It was saying get out. And now I get it. I get the messages.

And now a mat and I've taken off my kind of thinking it has to be hard. I did think it was normal tablet hard because then you change and you grow. I'm over that now. Yeah, had therapy. Better and I don't believe I should have that I don't believe that that I believe that this I do is a sign I'm not aligned. And I had to look at my beliefs as well.

So that's what this is doing. I had things in me that made me look may made it look like that was normal for life and my my childhood. Of course, if you've got struggling you watch your parents struggle, you're programmed. So this is what you're going to do now. You're going to see how you've been programmed. And that's why a lot of abuse is done in childhood because more abused you are the more easily manipulated you can be and more fragmented.

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