So what we're going to do now my skin is great space is actually to help clear some of the pain and some of the issues that are inside here inside your jaw which face so we change your face to change the face I'm gonna go I'm gonna add some humor because you're probably gonna cry in a sec sighs but we'll go this one. Okay, so to change to change to shift the pain that is inside you to shift the low self worth to shift the judgments and the trauma and your suppression and all those things that you wrote down Did everyone have something said to write down in their childhoods who had nothing to write down that was not so it we've all got it. We all get it. You just go to school and you can't, not saying that you don't get some good opportunities, but I've never met anyone that's been to school where there's never been anything negative, whether it's a teacher or another student.

It's a you know, it's a struggle. So we're gonna help each other so we can acknowledge what's happened to and most the time and this is a little bit of healing in this but Most time, no one's acknowledged to you that you didn't deserve that. Because if you've got parents that have abused you and done these things to you, for instance, if you do, I pretty much think that they probably haven't turned around and said you didn't deserve that. I'm not saying some of them may not have, but most people don't. Who's got hurt from their parents who hasn't apologized? I want to know who's got hurt from them.

Right. Who's got pain and hurt from someone else who hasn't apologized? Whoever did it? whose head they perpetrate out or, you know, their abuser, apologize. Okay. One of them.

Right. And was it a real apology? Yeah. Yeah. Great. So we're gonna I'm going to show you what the is going to look like and then you're going to get in groups of three.

And you're going to read your most five traumatic experiences. And then I will show you what you will do, because I'll tell you my story. Some of you have heard it. Some of you've read my book. But why I do this why this is powerful. I've seen people sighs transforming merely distal exercise.

Because when you're understood, when you feel that someone understands the pain, that's a relief. It says to you. Can we just set that sort of on that says to you, that you didn't deserve it, but when no, you don't get an apology. Then you don't get an apology. It's like It's like that you don't like that you still are in that place that you deserve that punishment. All right, this is my story.

And for some reason this is just how I acted. I was just this is me who I am. I'm very much All right, this has happened. I got it rectified. Because when I wrote a letter in childhood, and I showed it to my ex husband at the time, he goes oh my god you're so blunt you just like you go I go I hate you. My day demanded I hate you.

I don't want to do whatever and and I was like a three sentence but it was really blunt to the point. And I go, oh my god, I didn't realize that about me. But I am I guess, you see when someone reflects you go yes, maybe that is me. When I realized when someone said to me my 30s you didn't deserve to be physically abused. I didn't register. And my and I was because I was going crazy.

My dad was staying at my house at that time he was doing a visit. But I was climbing the walls and I didn't understand was climbing the walls. And I saw some my friend I go but he shouldn't have had Yeah, that's supposed to help you and then I go, oh my god. So I went back on the last day I said to him, by the way, I didn't deserve to be hit. And then he like any first words that came out of his mouth when I said that are next to accuse me of sexual abuse. That was bizarre.

And I'm like, what, where's that coming from? anyway? And of course, he did apologize. But he left you guys all take that into account. But then when I had my flashbacks, and I sent him a letter I said, because I was furious because I started to come back. And that's what can happen when someone has you flashbacks.

The first reaction is, Oh, my God, you did that to me. And I remember I wrote to him, and I said, I deserve an apology. And I didn't get any letter back. And when I was visiting Queensland, which is where he lives with my sister, she said, that'll talk to you. So when I was dropped off at his house, and everyone left, and I'm there in the house, and he sat down and he said, don't go Sit down, try to sit down. No, this isn't pretty.

And then he said, Do you want an apology? Forgive me? No, I'll give you an apology. So he pulled out of his pocket. And it was a topless so it spent time typing this up. And then I started reading the letter can hear I am very vulnerable because I was still dealing with all my past.

There I am wanting somebody to say you did not deserve that. And I'm sorry. Because then I would feel that that is not my worth. I just wanted it because it's been plaguing me. So as reading a letter, and on the letter said, I'm sorry you were born. I'm sorry.

You're a bitch. I'm sorry. You were ugly. Oh, sorry. You joined a card scam. It was all these.

I can only remember reading the first five or something. And I went into trauma and I see screwed it up, and I threw it on the table. And I ran out. And even that was stressful because the doors will felt that were locked. I couldn't get out. And we just laughed at me.

I was just, he was laughing. And I ran out. And I go, I was traumatized. And in that process, afterwards, hindsight, I realized, we all want an apology. If I'd got my apology, I wouldn't realize the power. And that's why I think I did sign up to have these things so that I could recognize what it does.

And the pain and what it does to have an apology and recognize that I need to put it in forensic healing. There is a girl in those in Perth workshop years ago, and she went to the doctors, she had therapies. She did all this stuff. To get over her fear of water because it far the stir push her in drowner, and abuser and all that kind of stuff. She even had electric shock treatment. But your doctor tricked her into getting nothing helped.

And I gave her that one healing on the table. And from that point, she now can swim and go underwater and it's not an issue. So we're going to do this now because we want to acknowledge your pain. And then it's your that what that saying is that I didn't deserve it. And it's not. You don't have to hold on to it any longer.

So therefore, we elevate your energy, so that we can become the conduit that you want, as you heard, and also john mentioned 15 years he'd been doing that journey. We've all on that journey. So you're here now, I'm trying to, you know, fast track you as much as I can. But the people that get fast tracked in a couple of days are the ones that have committed to getting, you know, evolving their soul already. So some of you have Why beginning and that's okay. So I want to do this right now.

So I would like someone that would like to come up, and I will apologize. I will go through they need to bring their book up. Does anyone here she got physical pain because I can show you. Would you like to do this one? Okay, so bring your book up lovely. Monique.

Yeah. Just bring the whole books. Yeah. Sometimes I sometimes I forget tissues, you know, let her cry. You can't You can cry. You can quite you've got two boxes filled.

So I'm just gonna say that right now. So come over here. monic. Yes. Now monic. You just signed up this morning, didn't you?

Yeah, right. spur of the moment. Yeah. Yeah. We decided we're not sure. I only came across your name about three weeks ago.

Right. And I've been sort of like, investigating you. Yes. Yes. estimate. So, I've done a lot of things in mind.

You wouldn't be doing myself like you know, like Reiki and your inner child work good. But obviously there's so much there that it's Yeah, I go into a meltdown I relax, right? Because I don't believe enough in myself. So yes, found your name and investigated you and I saw this workshop coming up Yeah, normally I work on the weekend right? Because I'm always scared to say no to my boss yes right but this stuff you oh really I want to work but not because I was coming here. I want to say that the universe was working for you and then this morning your email came through or something or something because I registered to do that five program right thing came up with this week.

Did coming. So that's what I do. Well, good on you money. So money. Where are your five things so What were the five traumatic things? So first of all, before we go into that, tell me where your pain is.

We were painted Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What number is it? Come Come over here. Come close to me. I want to feel your love right.

Okay, so you've got low back Yeah. To give me out of 1010 is a lot series known some days it just varies. What is it right now there right now it's probably sitting on a seven. Okay, and what's the lowest it gets to a five a five. Okay, so we got to get lower than five in nearly a conversation. I'm going to show you how when we take out this is this is just like a little exercise.

So you've got a weekend but how this was going to change my pain. And I'll show you how you're going to get into groups. It's free and do this exercise the moments just you and me but that's okay. But the next Wednesday, the Nick Okay, what number to make that that right now. So you want about an eight nine? Okay, so good.

I know that's not a lot Very low blood sorry for three or four. Yeah. All right. So we've got the back on at seven. Yeah. And the next three or four years.

And you hear what's going on? Oh, yeah. Tell me about daddy. What not much he heals today. They're not too bad, but they can be sitting on a Monday night too. So you've always got pain?

Yep. Always Always. Alright, so just remember that right? Note those numbers. Let's now talk to you about this money. Please tell me what happened between you've got zero and 15.

So my childhood I don't remember up until I was probably 12. I had my father left my mom when she was pregnant with me. And my mother was an alcoholic. So I don't remember her so much. I do remember just various things probably at the age of 12, when she came home from Qantas, back to mechanization, very traumatic time went and she just cut my hair or my hair off and had to go to school like that. And just constant.

All I just all I remember is her belting may or having cosplay to my family that had bruises all over me. And then from there, my life was just constant anxiety and anxiety at the same time. So I'm very anxious right now. Yeah, I can ask them that but an army. So if that's for you remember at age 12, then I can't imagine what she did to prior to that, and that's why you've disconnected. So this has affected your whole life.

Yeah. Do you talk to your mom today? My mother. I left my mom when I was 15 because she tried to strangle me the last time I saw her and I fought back. And I lived on the streets for probably three years. Yes.

And in 2018 nine she tracked me down and for some reason said to me, I'm going to make three lengths and they gotta even come crawling back to me. And so that was the last time and then in 2011 I got a call from state trustees department she say that my they've been looking for me for two years say that she her ashes are in a box at a funeral home Could you please come and get them and that was my mother in a box so I picked them up and with that was a letter that she requested that her ashes be scattered in the ocean, which I do for her. And that's when the time for me to pick up okay? Because I can't even imagine have said and she was and she did this for two years now. So I had that was my mind.

Forgiveness, okay, well, I don't forgive myself, probably because I left her in that state because I just I didn't know that. Okay, I'm really sorry. That's That's a lot of trauma. And I wanna you didn't have closure at all your mom died. She wasn't there. You weren't talking.

And no one's fought for little money. No one's done any of that. And you're carrying carrying guilt for your mom. So let me I want to do some closure. So we can add this. I'm your mother.

So, I want you to tell me how much you've heard. I've heard you how traumatized your whole life has been. And I want you to express that because no one you haven't had this opportunity. And I don't want you to worry about her feelings. I want you to really let me know Had traumatized what she's done cuz you've held it in have just felt abandoned. I don't trust anyone say mom you have heard me say Ma'am Ma'am you've hurt me hurt me and I felt unsafe all my life felt scared, but I trust people I feel guilty if I don't love myself and I don't accept myself the way tell me you say you've destroyed my life you've destroyed my confidence you've hurt me beyond measure.

Tell me tell me tell me how much this you must. You've got you have to be angry. Angry to swear. Oh no, I try not to know You know what to do with anger is to lash out at people. Yeah, you know you're rushing at the wrong person. Yeah, you need to lash out your mom.

I'm you. I'm right here now and it has to come out because that little girl that's been thrown around by an alcoholic mother is been traumatized beyond measures so traumatized she can't even remember how bad it was. So I want you to go in as just go fuck that if you there's no word. There's just no word for what's happened to that precious, precious. She's innocent. She's pure.

And she's vulnerable. She's abused beyond recognition. So just give it to me. What's inside? What are you feeling? I'm scared, scared, amazed.

It's nice to speak up to your standards there and just let her do what she wanted to do to me. So sorry, but you know what? You're going to push me then we this hence, you're going to push me and tell me to stop it. Come on, tell me to stop it. Come on. I'm so so sorry.

I'm sorry for the pain. I'm sorry for the abuse I'm so for a neglectful mother that would just traumatize you. I am so sorry. You did not deserve that. That precious, precious little girl did not deserve that. She deserved to be nurtured.

I'm now going to show how the consciousness of this room could you imagine that little girl and I want everyone to imagine putting your arms around just like she's your child. We're all going to bring our arms around that little money queen. She's this beautiful little girl that is crying out. Don't abuse me. Let's put our arms around her How groups going to affect you in a positive way and they are going to protect, we're going to be her Angel. This whole group of 40 people are going to put their arms around her.

And so we're here to heal her. We're going to keep her safe. And we're so sorry. And take her away. So she feels protected. She feels this people she can go to you look out Look how much look at kinda look at the angels.

There are beautiful angels. They only owe your angels for that little girl. And was there all sorry for what happened to you? So now, take a deep breath in. Okay, so let's have a look. I know that was tough.

You're right. What are you feeling right now? embarrassed all right people. Yeah, yes. Lady survival my life. Yeah.

And I could just take her in. Yeah, you know what that was what you had to do as a child and showing emotion is necessary and it's and it's only a consciousness that to be embarrassed you know, everyone's crying for you so that their their life just feeling for you. So this is just your mother taught you to be embarrassed about your feelings. So this isn't what these people think. So we're going to shift you out of that. So you're sweating to feel the love.

So let's move from that feeling of being embarrassed to that feeling of love. Because they're all feeling for you. They recognize a bit of themselves somewhere. So take a deep breath in. Okay. What are you feeling now?

Yeah, my necks not hurting me. Oh, Nick's not hurting. But what about you back? What number is it? What about you, Nick? Nick is gone.

Right? And the law Number The back is what number? Give me a number out of 1010 is bad. Zero is none. Which one is it? No.

10 Is pretty bad. Ah, okay. All gone yellow. Oh, are you okay? Let's say goodbye. So you're saying Tim was really good in it.

And so what you said was you chose seven. So I thought seven was bad. There it is. But ultimately, Nick now the next bad. You're saying that's bad now? No, no, no.

It was 00 he was like, it was bad. Oh, really? So now really bad. Nick, is that really good. So it's good. The music's was up.

All right, well, well, this is what I'm talking about group consciousness. This I'm talking about getting access to source Well, so we're down from the seven to zero. Now what about your low back? Give me a number. What number I need number cuz cuz you said five last goes through. Oh, now it's good.

So you know, you pick it up. I know you're saying it's a nine, which is good, isn't it? No, no, no. No, no, no. All right, so we've got no neck pain. So 10 that's really bad.

So you want your 10 is really bad for your lower back. Zero is no pain. Ah, okay. Somebody wants one. So you said five was the lowest Is that correct? So normally, it never goes below five and now it's going to one by purely your consciousness.

Now, this is why you need positive people around you. This is why people's energy affects you and your thoughts alone. have healed that little girl. And this is what we're doing getting access to consciousness to feel a bit better. Yeah, yeah. Really?

I bet you've been living in anxiety. Yeah. And now she doesn't do you feel like bit transformed right now? I feel a lot has just changed your life. Sorry, not so good. Yes, your book.

Thank you. So you're going to change your energy. You're going to get in groups of three, you're going to read your top five traumatic moments to the little group. You probably can start your tables, I think of all you can go out today, you choose. You run the show. And then I want you to read them and then the other two people will say I'm really sorry.

And say I'm sorry that that happened to you and you did not deserve it. So can you just write up on the board please? Sorry. You're sorry, and you didn't deserve it, and then what you deserve. So that's kind of like three aspects. I don't know if there's a pin there.

So you apologize, I'm sorry that happened to you didn't deserve it, and then what you deserved you deserve to felt safe, you deserve to be protected. So just kind of those steps. And then you go to the next person, and that will heal your patterns. And not everything, but it's going to be a step to release the stuff that you want. That you've come to get. Any questions?

You will good? Yeah. All right. Yeah. All right. So go go have fun.

The tissues, the tissues, I walk around, give out tissues.