Module nine the triple A approach. Anger is exacerbated by a feeling of victimization and helplessness. It helps to know then that we always have at least three options when dealing with an anger provoking situation. You can alter, avoid or accept. alter, you are not a victim of your situation, you will always have the option of taking a deliberate and well thought out response to an anger provoking situation. Your options typically fall into three categories.

Alter, avoid or accept. alter means that you initiate change. You can change things in your environment that are within your control. You can also initiate changes within yourself. The following are ways that you can change to deal with anger more effectively. Number one, change non productive habits.

If you know that you have a particular way of doing things that often results into an anger situation. Perhaps it's time to break the pattern. For example, if you know that mediating a family quarrel while your mind is tired from work Work often leads to blow ups. Then reschedule family meetings to times when you're more relaxed. Remember to respectfully ask others to change their behavior and be willing to do the same. You can control other people's thoughts, feelings and behavior.

You can however, let them know that you'd appreciate a change, waiting for lightning to strike people with habits that irritate you will never get you anywhere, perhaps proactive communication can. Number three, change the way you view a situation. Sometimes it's our interpretation of a situation that makes us angry rather than the situation itself. What you can do is change your way of thinking. For example, irrational thoughts like I have to be perfect at all times, usually result in anger directed at oneself when failures happen. Maybe if you start thinking it's alright to fail now and then things would get easier.

Number four, change the way you react to a situation. You can also deliberately change the way you respond. Anger usually begets anger, we raise our voice when someone raises their voice to us. If you take a moment and find other ways to respond, then maybe you can manage your anger better. Avoid, avoid means steering clear of situations that can make you angry. The following are avoid ways that you can do to deal with anger more effectively.

Number one, steer clear of people who make you upset. Anger is often triggered by interactions with difficult people or people who just rub you the wrong way. If you know that a person is eliciting an intense anger reaction in you and you feel that you can control it, then perhaps it's best that you just take action to avoid this individual. Remember to steer clear of your hot buttons. One of the advantages of knowing your hot buttons is that it enables you to structure your day in such a way that avoids them. For example, if too many deadlines make you angry and stressed, then learn time management, or don't take more projects than you can handle.

Saying no is a good avoid response. Number three, remove yourself From a stressful situation immediately. Another avoid intervention is to immediately remove yourself from a situation that might escalate your anger. For example, if a peer provoked your anger, you don't have to stay around to listen to what he has to say. You can opt to walk away and address the issue another day. Except, unfortunately, there are some things that we cannot change nor avoid.

In this case, we have to accept them. This is true in many things that involve unrecoverable losses like an accident or financial collapse. The following are examples of accept responses to dealing with anger. Number one, find learning when you have no choice but to accept a situation make the most of it by distilling the lessons from the experience. This way you can recover control by making proactive changes to prevent the situation from happening again. Number two seek higher purpose.

Finding meaning can help in managing anger interpreting a situation based on one's Faith Life or personal philosophy can lessen its threatening impact on the self. For instance, there are people who think that every negative experience is an opportunity, a call for change. Number three event to a friend. If you can't do anything but accept a situation at the very least find someone to share your experience with. venting with a trusted friend or a mental health professional can help you integrate the experience better in your life. This can help you move on faster and more effectively.