Now let's take a look at the process of effective communication. So the process really consists of three areas, sending an understanding the message, acknowledgement of the message, and then response and feedback. So we're going to take a little bit of a deeper dive into sending and understanding the message where we look at each of the things that you see here on the screen related to that which is word context. Words to avoid avoiding provoking words, tone of voice and voice, inflection, eye contact, and physical spacing, body language and method of delivery. Then we'll take a look at acknowledgment and then the things related to responsive feedback which are paraphrasing, mirroring, open ended questions and empathy statements. So let's start with word context.

The speaker selects the words for communicating based on his or her understanding of the specific words and phrases, the meaning of any message is determined solely by the receiver. It is not the actual content of the message that matters. It is what the listener thinks. You said. Some words can have as many as 25 different definitions in the English language, cultural, religious, and regional backgrounds can influence the interpretation of a word. Some words can even stir up an emotional response, leading to a breakdown in communication.

There are some red flag words that you should avoid using things like you should or you must, you'll never, why don't you? You never or you always, you're wrong. The words on the left of this table that you're looking at here are ones that can cause a negative response and hinder communication. So look at other words that you can use in place of that So provoking phrase would be can't, an alternative would be can. And other words talk about the positive thing rather than the negative thing. Instead of saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry, or sorry, we can't do that, or sorry, but you're not going to get that starting off something was sorry.

Instead, you can say something like, I'm not sure we can do that. Instead, we could, and then offer up a solution, saying, sorry, but we can't do that doesn't really help the person, right? You've got to give them something else to go on. I don't know. Instead of saying that, say I'll find out or it's even Okay, if you find yourself saying, I don't know, just simply say, but I'll be glad to find out and get back to you. So if you find yourself slipping up and saying the words I don't know, follow up with that, instead of saying you should have, you can try saying something like, I understand why you didn't think that piece of data was needed.

However, now, what did I just do? I used another bad work, right? If you look at the end of the list here, however, is one of those provoking phrases. So again, how else could we say it, you see how easy it is to kind of fall back on the words that we know and that we're used to that are actually provoking phrases. So instead of saying, I understand why you didn't think that piece of data is necessary, however, you could try saying, I completely understand why you didn't think that piece of data was needed for this particular project. I think that and then state why it might be necessary.

Just leave the word however out of it, and it completely changes the tone. Why didn't you instead of saying that, you can say I can see why you didn't, and then do whatever it was that they didn't do. The only thing we can do is Instead of that phrase say I think the best option is. So rather than saying to them, your only option is, you can say I think the best option is, which makes people feel better about having options. And then we just talked about the however things so try not to use but or however, and instead, you could try using the word and you could try just simply starting this sentence without the word however, like I did in the example I used, there's different ways that you can change the language so that you're not using a provoking phrase, tone of voice and voice inflection.

Emphasizing or stressing a word indicates importance and it frequently impacts the meaning of the entire message, especially in the technology field, using the correct words is critical to understanding and because of that more emphasis is spent on the content versus how it is said. So let's give an example of what I'm talking About here. So if you were to read the following lines out loud, emphasizing the words in italics, you see how the message changes? I did not say he wanted a new report. I did not say he wanted a new report. I did not say he wanted a new report.

I did not say he wanted a new report. I did not say he wanted a new report. I did not say he wanted a new report. I did not say he wanted a new report. So you see how when you put the emphasis on different words, it actually changes the meaning, if you will of what the sentence is saying. When I say he did not say he wanted a new report.

It's like I am saying well, he didn't say it, but it was implied where if you go to number seven, I did not say he wanted a new report. That completely changes it. The implication is that I didn't say he wanted a new report. Not about whether or not he said he did, but whether or not that is the thing that he wants, so it completely changes it based on where you're emphasizing your words. So you want to make sure you're being conscious of that. We're led to believe that the text or content of a message is the message, but it's not really, there are really three parts to a message with words only making up 7% of that message.

Nonverbal cues make up 55% and the tone of voice is 38%. So keep that in mind. When you're practicing your communication skills. Let's talk about eye contact and physical space. According to most communication experts, the most appropriate use of eye contact is to maintain contact for a count of three, look away briefly and then re establish eye connection again. So like I said earlier, don't stare at somebody, look at them, look away, look back again.

Because staring can be regarded as disrespect. And it can also be intimidating, avoiding eye contact though. So going the opposite direction, sends negative messages that makes it look like you might not be interested in what the other person is saying. You may not be being truthful in the moment. And it can also make you look arrogant. Your physical distance and moving during communication tells the other person how interested and involved you are also, there is a kind of common comfort zone for people or what we would call their personal space, right and you want to make sure that you're not kind of leaning into their personal space and making them feel uncomfortable.

Think about what that is for you what your personal space is how close somebody can get to you before you start getting uncomfortable, and it's going to be the same way for other people.