Now let's talk about how you can stop being approval seeking and how you can stop comparing yourself with other people. I would like to share with you here three advice. The first one is don't compare yourself with others, but to be inspired by them. Because if you like to build your confidence, there is nothing worse than just comparing yourself with other people, or comparing yourself with people that are better than you. Let's say that you just arrive in a new company, and you want to build your confidence in sales. And then you start comparing yourself with the best salesman and he's making a lot of money and you just arrived and say, Oh, my God, I I just have 10 contracts.

I just, I just had 10 sales, and he had 1000 sales. Oh my god, I'm not as good as him. I can be confident and most people do that. Well You should do instead is be inspired by the result be inspired by other people being inspired by the potential that there is here, the potential of sales that can be done in this company. And then you have to compare yourself with yourself. Progress.

It means that every day, I would like you to challenge yourself to do more to make more sales. And I would like you to compare your progress to yourself. So the only person that you should compare yourself with is yourself, be inspired by other people. Why is it bad to compare yourself with other people, because maybe this top salesman here, he has been in the company for more than 10 years, and he doesn't have a social life. His health is is really bad. And you took care of your family, you took care of your health, and you have great sales skills.

And now you're just comparing yourself with someone that's hot. All his life in that committed all his life to save. And now you're saying, I'm not as good as him, I'm not good enough. You can see how dangerous it is. And it's and this example here you can apply that to anything to for example, someone who is more successful than you that that makes more money than you. Someone that has a bed that has better friends or any other social situation.

So, make the habit right now to be inspired by other people. Don't be jealous. And compare yourself to yourself. Because if you improve, it will give you confidence because it will show you that you are improving that you have progress. And if you want to become a confident you must show your brain that you are progressing and that you are challenging yourself. And as always reinforce the behavior positively.

Then the second one I would like you to have an external focus So let's say that you are networking event or any other social situation, and that you are talking to people. Have you ever been in a situation where you just started going inside your head and say, I'm not good enough? Is my suit okay? Is my hair okay? Am I too fat? Is that okay?

Oh my god, people will notice that maybe I don't have enough experience and you just start being inside your head. And if you go inside your head, you won't be able to develop confidence, what you should what you should do is just be outside your head. And how you can do that is just focus on the details that are around you. It means that if I am in a networking event, I will be focusing on the food on the people on the music. I will be focusing on the hotel on the venue. I will be focusing on what other people are wearing.

I will be focusing on that that won't be asking self doubt questions like oh my god, am I good enough? Do I have enough experience? Is my hair okay? I want to be asking these questions. So that's why I encourage you to have external focus If you have this external focus, you won't have self doubt. So it's really powerful to hear, focus on the details around you.

And you will see that it will really help you become more confident and dare to act in life. Number three, I would like you to stop any seeking approval behavior that you have, what is seeking approval, seeking approval is that you will adapt who you are to please someone, it means that whatever you will do, you do that to get the reaction from the other person. You do that to get an impression. And if you do that, it will lower your social value. And you will never truly become confident because you are always adapting who you are. What I would like you instead to do is express yourself freely.

So when I would like you to focus on who you truly are, what are your passions, what are your interests? What do you like to do? How do you communicate with people? What are the Things that you tolerate, what are the things that you don't like? I would like you to know yourself. What are you personally traits?

And then I would like you to interact with people and be congruent with this with who you are. I don't want you to adapt who you are when you talk to people. A few weeks ago, I would adapt who I was just to please people. So I love playing tennis. And I will tell you, I would tell people, hey, I like playing tennis. And people would say, Oh, no, playing tennis is bad and say, I yeah, you're right.

I was just joking. Tennis is bad. I was adapting my behavior, just to please people are wise enough in the approval seeking behavior. So you should know who you are, and express yourself freely with people and then people will respect you more, because they will see that you have strong personality traits that you know who you are, and that you don't allow, I would say bullshit from other people that try to put you down that you will There are that you would say, Okay, this is the boundary here, you cannot say that or Yes, I like when you say that you must be able to express yourself in the positive way and and in the negative way. But this one here is more like an advanced concept. If you focus already here, you will be able to become really more at ease socially.

So, remember, don't compare yourself with others, be inspired by them. And focus on the details on everything that is around you. And try to express yourself freely and you must really focus on yourself. And it may take it may take months, years to really find out who you are, and how you wish you can express yourself freely. So this one here, it took me 10 years. So I'm not it's not something that it will happen overnight.

It's something that you should work on every day of the rest of your life. Try to express yourself freely with with your parents, with your family, with your lover with people that you meet, but always Take into account that you express yourself freely. But at the same time you have great intentions. And you are always trying to communicating well with people. You're not being rude. You're not being mean.

You're always communicating. Well, that was it for this video here.