Now let's talk about how you can deal with conflicts. So this one is a big one. And it's a question that I get asked a lot. I don't how can I deal with conflict in a more effective way? So I'd like to share with you here, my top five advice on how to deal with conflicts, let's say the number one, I would like you to use empathy, when you are dealing with conflict. Empathy means that you understand the other person's point of view, you understand their situation.

So I will always use a sentence like I understand your situation, I understand that you had a lot of work, and the sense that you made a mistake. I understand that you didn't have the motivation. I understand that you had a bad day. So we always use empathy, because the person will have the feeling that you just care about them, that you just understand their point of view. And it's really important when you deal with conflicts because huge reason that people enter into conflicts, it's because they think that the other person don't understand them, or the missile misinterpret interprets the, the information. So just hear us, empath it will really, really have you.

I would like you to see the big picture. It's something that will really help you deal with a lot of conflict. So what does it mean? So let's say that you have asked someone to give you a report by 6pm. That means that you are expecting that the report will be at 6pm on your desk. And now it's 7pm.

And the report is not there. Instead of just going and start yelling at the person saying it's 7pm you're late, where's the report? You can just see the big picture and say, maybe something came up. Maybe their boss told them to do something else. Maybe there is an information that I don't have, and that's why I don't have the report by 7pm. So By 6pm, so instead of just going and start attacking the other person, I would just approach the person and say, Hey, I just have a question.

I'm there the report was due at at 6pm. Could I know just what happened? And then I will let the other person explained to me I want to see the big picture. And maybe the other person would say, Oh, my boss had to, had to leave because her wife was pregnant, and I had to take care of his work or something like that. And now I understand instead of going in attacking the other person, I understood that something came up that was more important than my report. And that's, I can I can ask the person Okay, so, is it possible that the report will be at 8am on my desk tomorrow, and then the person will say, yes.

So instead of attacking the person, I want to see the big picture. So always try to ask for information for clarification on what happened before Attacking the person. Because what happens most of the time is that people will start a conflict with someone because the very thing that they did something on purpose, or the thing that they're not respecting them, but maybe it's something else, maybe something came up. So, give them the benefit of the doubt and always ask the question, so that you can see the big picture. Number three, fact feeling and desire. So, this is so key here when you are dealing with conflicts.

I would like you to express yourself with these three parts. technique here, the fact it means that what happened, the feeling, what it made you feel and the design. So let's say that we are still using the example of the report by 6pm. And the end the person did not send me an email or did not tell me that the report wouldn't be out. At 6pm on my desk. So how I would do that i can i can say I can even use empathy, I can say, Oh, I understand that you had a lot of work and that your boss told you to do something else.

And the fact is that the report was not on my desk by CPM. And what it made me feel is really nervous because I had to deliver that to a to a client that they after, what I would like is next time that you just tell me that you can call me or that you can send me an email. Do you think that you can do that? That's how you can deal with conflicts. And you can use here, this model here, the fact what happened, the report was not there, the feeling what it made you feel and the desire for the future. This is so powerful, you can use that in every conflict.

Fact feeling desire. Number four, you don't want to win the argument. You want to find a solution when you are arguing with someone Sometimes you forget what you are arguing about, you just want to win the argument. You don't want to do that. Because if you want to win the argument, it means that the other person will lose. And what you want at the end is just find a solution.

You want to find a solution to your conflict. And maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, maybe the person is right or wrong, who cares? Just want to find a solution. So always have in mind when you are dealing with conflicts that you want to find a common solution, a solution that you can solve the conflict. You don't want to say you are right, you are wrong. Oh no, you're right, you're wrong.

No, you want to find the solution. So always have this intention, this frame of mind when you are dealing with conflict. And number five, is emotional mastery. It's something that is really difficult, but I encourage you to master let's say that you arguing with someone and then they send you an email and if the only thing that you want to do is stop yelling at them, or send an email with many insults in the email, don't do that because you are really emotional. And what will happen is that if you react immediately after something that pisses you off, or that makes you angry, you will say things or do things that you will regret later. So what you can do is just take a step back and answer the day after.

If someone comes at you, knocks at your door and start saying crazy things to you and then you start being really angry. Don't overreact and react with the emotions that you are in that is sadness or angry or something like that. You can just see that you can just tell the person Hey, you know what, I'm feeling really angry right now. I just want to take a few hours or a few days to to process information, I will get back to you. Then you go home, you do something else, and you think clearly about the situation. It's something that will really serve you.

So here you can deal with any comfort. With these five advice here it's really powerful. So use them at your advantage and use them not to win the arguments but to find a solution.