Extra - Tips on How to Get Over Nervousness and Being Scared

2019 Complete Public Speaking Masterclass For Every Occasion If You Are a Complete Beginner, You Can Start Here
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Transcript

I know some of you have gone through the whole course now and you're thinking, well, TJ is making some sounds. There's some good points and yeah, I can try that. But still, I'm nervous. I'm uncomfortable. I'm scared. My hands are shaking.

I feel for you. I want to give you some more tips, but I do want to give them to you in order of priority because I find people come up with so many techniques, they want to do a shot of booze or beta blockers. I'll talk about those in a moment of meditation hypnosis. I'm not saying all of those solutions are always bad. But I want to give you my sense of the the clear hierarchy. The number one way to get over nervousness, when it comes to speaking, is to have actually watched yourself, give the presentation on video and you're looking at it and you're saying, Wow, if I can be half as good as he is, if I can be half as good as she is.

I'm going to be the star by department. Are my company or my organization or my industry. Now you don't have to visualize a good speech. you've actually seen it with your own eyes. You saw it in advance because you took the time to practice on your cell phone, iPad or computer. barn away.

That is the number one way to get over nerves when it comes to public speaking and presentation skills and communication skills. It's also the least popular way of doing it. So I understand that I spend a lot of my time preaching at people on this. And when I'm working with them one on one or small groups in person, they don't have a choice. But when I'm talking to people and trying to help them through an online environment, let's face it, you can just sit back Click Next, click skip. You don't have to do any of this.

But if you're still nervous or uncomfortable, what good is the course Daniel? So that is far and away the number one way to get over nerves together. Get over being uncomfortable. Other tips in order of hierarchy, practice in that room where you're actually going to give the speech. Sometimes you're traveling to a different conference room, a different boardroom Convention Center, hotel, get into the space and actually practice. Next, try to practice in front of people get feedback of what they like, what they remember, very crucial to build your confidence.

Now, other methods that are out there I find much, much less effective than those. But one method is visualization. You can visualize yourself having a standing ovation. But what good is a standing ovation if people don't really remember your message and act on it? Our goal unless you want to become a professional keynote speaker is not to get standing ovations, especially as a beginner. Your goal was to actually communicate making sure people under Understand you and actually remember your messages.

Another common tactic for getting over fear and preparation is practicing in front of a mirror. Here's the problem with practicing in front of a mirror. We all have certain things we don't completely love about our face or eyes or hairline or nose is crooked or something. So when you're practicing in front of a mirror, it's only human nature to look at the things you don't like, in your own face. Well, how does that help us get more confidence for the speech so I do not recommend ever practicing in front of a mirror. All it does is distract you and you're not focusing on what you're actually saying.

You're focusing on looking at yourself. So I don't recommend that. People ask me all the time. Well, TJ Can I smoked a little marijuana which is increasingly legal all over the world or do a shot of liquor For wine or vodka, here's the problem with that approach is, it may make you more relaxed, but sometimes that can slightly impede your ability to have recall. If you're already nervous speaking, the last thing you want is something that's going to slow your recall down more, because when we're nervous, we don't remember things as well. If we've had a little alcohol, sometimes even one glass or any other kind of drug, then it can slow down your ability to remember what you're going to say next.

And if you're already nervous about forgetting what to say, and you lose a second, then you end up it makes you more nervous. For some people, even a little alcohol can make their face red or make them blush. That can be distracting. Also, if you have a drink, or two, but I'll assume just one, people come up to you afterwards to say good presentation. Good job, good talk. They smell alcohol on your breath, and this is the first time they've ever met you That may be the lasting impression people have.

So I don't recommend that. Sometimes people try to get fancier, they want to use beta blockers. Now, this is a controversial topic. And I can tell you when I've spoken on this on YouTube and other places, I get massive hate mail, telling me I'm an idiot and a fool and stupid. But I want to be completely transparent with you and honest based on what I think is actually going to help you accomplish your goal of giving a presentation and looking comfortable and competent in the process. There are drugs, beta blockers that will in fact, reduce your ability to get nervous, you just don't get as keyed up.

You don't get as tensed up. So it does help your body. The problem is it doesn't actually solve the underlying problem. The problem is that if you're not giving a great presentation, if you're not giving an interesting, memorable presentation, you're likely to be nervous. If you're no longer nervous about it, but you're still giving a boring or awful presentation hasn't helped matters. I've had clients who didn't listen to me on this issue, took a beta blocker before going on CNBC, and they were less nervous.

Unfortunately, the hundreds of thousands of people watching them on TV, so this Yes, I'm happy to be here today and they sounded zoned out, and zombie like, and low key and low energy, and they didn't come across as comfortable and confident. So remember, it's not about you just not shaking, you need to come across as comfortable, confident, relaxed and interesting. The number one I've been saying this for the last the number one way to not be nervous when you're speaking, is to simply focus all of your energies on really helping The audience member, what are you doing to make them better? What are you doing to help their business, their organization, their life, if you're truly focused on helping them? You don't even have time to think about poor little me. All of you have seen news reports, I'm sure of, you know, a child getting pinned under a truck.

And then people, sometimes one person are strong enough to lift it up. The adrenaline cert, they're focused on saving one child's life. Because they're not thinking about themselves. They're not thinking about, oh, how does my pant line low kind of my shoes, look, they're just running, diving, trying to help when you're speaking, that's what you need to focus on. Now. You're not running in diving on an audience member.

But if you're so focused on helping your audience member understand something better. You're not going to be focused on Oh, how am I doing? Am I scared under my home, I gotta get through this. And, by the way, one, one final bonus bonus, you've heard the expression, visualize people in their underwear visualize your audience naked. Horrible advice depending on your audience is either too disgusting or too exciting. Don't focus on your audience in their underwear.

Focus on one individual at a time, helping them making your ideas come alive to them. Focus on that. You won't have time to be nervous.

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