Hello guys, welcome to this C one advanced that ca writing paper video course. In this lesson we're going to be focusing on part one the essay. So, firstly I will show you an example essay question and then I will give you some essay advice and then we will critique this essay question. Then we will look at some examiners critique of the question. We will correct some mistakes in the question. And finally, we will have some last few tips for part one.

So, here is an example essay question. And if you type in this web address into your internet browser. For example, Google Chrome Mozilla Firefox or Safari or Internet Explorer, etc. You will find this question on page 33. And it says you must answer this question because in part one, you only have one option and you need to answer that question. So, you must answer this question, write your answer in 220 to 260 words and then the appropriate style on the separate answer sheet.

One, your class has attended a panel discussion on facilities, which should receive money from local authorities. You have made the notes below which facilities should receive money from local authorities, museums, sports centers, public gardens some opinions expressed in the discussion museums aren't popular with everybody. Sports centers mean healthier people. A town needs green spaces. Parks are great for everybody. write an essay discussing two of the facilities in your notes.

You should explain which facility is more important for local authorities to give money to giving reasons in support of your answer. You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the discussion. But you should use your own words as far as possible. Okay. So, we're only talking about to the notes of the facilities. So either museums in sports centers or sports centers and public gardens or public gardens and museums just too and we have to explain which is more important.

So that means you need to develop your points to explain why. Okay, giving reasons. So let's have a look at some instructions that are given for writing essays in the Cambridge English advanced Handbook, teachers. there if you type in this web address at the bottom of the page, and go to page 32, you will find these instructions but I have summarized the main points for us. So an essay in the Cambridge English advanced right writing paper is usually written for an academic tutor, and may be written as a follow up to a class activity, such as attending a seminar, or watching a documentary. Okay, so for the marking criteria number one content, it's important to know who your target reader is.

And we know our target reader is usually an academic tutor. So that means that your writing needs to be formal, formal writing for an essay. The main purpose of the task is to underline relevant salient issues on the state topic and to support an argument, its subsidiary points and reasons. Okay, so it means we need to find the most efficient pourtant issues on a topic, back these up with reasons and extra points, extra ideas if you can think of some. And finally, an essay should be well organized with an introduction, clear development, then appropriate conclusion. This will help with the organization marking criteria.

You follow the structure, you create a good flow through the essay with an introduction and conclusion. The examiner can read how the points are developed, and clearly, it will get higher marks. Finally, it should hold the target readers attention and communicate complex ideas using an appropriate range vocabulary and structures. So that means we should try and use different types of grammar, different types of vocabulary for this. And here is an example essay answer. And it might be easier for you to read this answer if you go to the Cambridge English advanced handbook for teachers page 38.

So if you pause this video now, and type in this web address to your internet browser, for example, Google Chrome, or Firefox or Safari or Internet Explorer, etc, if you type it in and then go to page 38. Don't look at the examiners comments at the bottom. Once you've done that, and you're on page 38 you can see in essay question which looks like this, press play. And we will continue with this critique. Okay, so hopefully you've done that. Now what I'd like you to do is to have a look at this writing scale here.

Now, what we have are the four subscales content communicative achievement, organization language. And what I'd like you to do is to read this essay here, which is from page 38. But I'd like you to give it a mark from one to five, one being bad and five being good for each of the four subscales content communicative achievement organization. In language, and also to write your comments if you've given the content of five, right why it is so good, for example. So pause this video now, I advise you to copy this table onto a sheet of paper with a pen. And then focus on page 38 of the handbook for teachers.

Read that I complete the table. So pause this video now take as long as you want. When you've done that, press play. Okay, so hopefully you've done that. Now what we're going to do is to have a look at what the Real examiner thought about this essay. So this is at the bottom of page 38.

From that Handbook, what I'd like you to do is to pause this video again. Compare the marks with your own marks, see if you had similar ideas, see if you had different ideas. And also, I'd like you to read these comments in detail, because this is how you will know exactly what the examiners are looking for when you're writing your essay. If you can think like the examiner, then you will get much better marks in the essay. This is a really useful exercise to pause this video now. take as long as you like and read through these comments.

When you're ready, press play Okay, so hopefully you've done that. And I just like to show you some of the bits, which I thought was really important from these comments. So for content, it's relevant, and the target reader is fully informed, which means the person answered all parts of the question. For communicative achievement, he's used a clear opening paragraph and a strong conclusion. Which means there is no room for doubt as to where the money should go. So having a clear flow means that it's easier to understand and follow through, right.

So, so consistently formal And its objective is important you should try to be objective and use objective language rather than subject language. There are clear paragraphs which help to keep the reader's attention as well. This comes down to flow and organization as well as communicate to achieve their goals lot of different cohesive devices used. Which is means linking words and other similar things. For example, nowadays Moreover, and so they're linking these parts and different sentences together. There is a range of vocabulary Which is relevant to the topic.

And there is a range of simple and also more complex grammatical structures. These are some of the good points. There are some more bad points or not so good points in this comment. These are some of the really good ones that you should try to incorporate into your writing. Okay. When I read through this essay, I also noticed there were some more specific mistakes with the language.

And so I've written these down here. They might be to do with spelling or grammar, or they're not very easy to understand. So what I'd like you to do is to pause this video now and try to correct the mistakes in these sentences. When you're ready, press play Okay, so hopefully you've done that. Now what I'd like to do is to have a look at my corrections here, we can see if you have the same corrections as my corrections. So, in the first sentence, people have lost interest, not the interest just lost interest.

Young men, not the young men, just young men in general. history museums provide people with, we always say to provide someone with something. And information is uncountable, so it shouldn't be information, just information. I would say the subject first events can be organized The game, the subject should be at the beginning of the sentence. spaces for kids to play can be built spaces and events at the beginning of the sentence and then say what you can do with these things after investment from local authorities is probably more than model authority. And if it is just one you would need to use an article.

If it's plural, you don't need to use app and or the before it just investment from the local authorities. Okay. So for homework, you should write your own answer to this essay question. Or you could write an answer to the essay question which comes from this website which is slightly Different and if you write your essay on computer, you can send it to questions at student languages COMM And if I have time, I will put your essay on my website with some of my feedback and my marks and I will let you know when it's on the website so you can read it for yourself. You can see some of my similar past writing examples by going to this page on my website. Finally, for homework, you should read the Cambridge English advanced handbook for teachers because there is loads of really useful information in this Handbook, so I really recommend reading the whole handbook before going into the exam.

They will help you to prepare before the exam If you would like to book live lessons with me, you can write to me at admin at student languages calm. And I will get back to you about my lessons could be for this part of the exam or another part of the exam of English in general. Right to me admin, it's student languages calm and we can talk about my private book group lessons. Okay, so I really hope you enjoyed this video. And in the next video lesson, we are going to be looking at part two of the writing paper. I'll give you a quick introduction.

Remind you what you have to do in part two. See in the next lesson, guys, bye bye