Hey, everybody, welcome back, you're doing absolutely fantastic. You're probably about two thirds of the way through the course. Very proud of you. This one I just called interesting ideas. Why? Because I want to get these pieces in they are key to why people do the things they do.

But their little bits and tidbits, their key concepts, but you know, there was no great master plan and as to where to put them in. So the first one is, is an old Zen belief is the problem of attachment. And they believe that the problem with attachment is that whatever you attach to will cause you pain. Say a friend comes over your house and they're playing with a bowl of yours, and they drop the bowl and they break it. Now if it's a bowl you're not attached to, you're like, oh, no biggie. I just got that at Walmart you feel bad because maybe cost you two bucks, but that's your level of attachment to it.

$2 If that was a family heirloom, you'll be crushed. You'll be hiding it you know, as best you can that you're crushed by this, you know, it'll cause you anguish for days after This thing was meant to do what? Cause you pleasure. But because you became attached, let's at least say overattached, it's going to cause you pain. You know? Why is it painful when somebody leaves us in a relationship, we're already ahead of the game.

We weren't having any fun. Then we had a bunch of fun with them, and then they're gone. We didn't really lose anything. We're still ahead. It's like if I had no money, and then I made 10 bucks. And then the money stopped coming in.

Most people would say, you're ahead of the game, your head 10 bucks. But a lot of people grieve, Oh, I thought I was gonna get 10 bucks next week and next week, and next week, you know, I thought they were going to love me forever. See how the attachment this false attachment Who told you the 10 bucks was going to come in forever, you know? And if you let that attachment go, so you know what? Sometimes money comes? Sometimes it goes.

Sometimes people come sometimes people go, the pain goes away. It's only when you get to attach something to something that it causes you pain. I remember listening to a guy in a therapy session it was with the trying to think of her name Byron. Byron Kelly. I always think her. Her last name was her first name because Byron, okay, that always struck me as a last name.

But Byron Katie, she does something called the work great, great therapy system. If you can ever get some information on that, pick it up, you'll find her stuff on YouTube. It's called the work period, boom, great, great stuff. used to do, she did it for love offerings back when I met her now she charges like 5000 to get you certified in a three day period. So much for the love offerings. But she was working with a guy and the guy had a lot of misconceptions about money, and they were all about attachments.

And he said, Well, people should respect my money and she's like, hopeless, they're never going to respect it. Well Money should never leave me. hopeless, it's going to leave you money comes money goes money as a flow. Money should never leave me. What? What fairy tale book Did you hear that?

It's gonna leave you. Okay? So when we get attached to something, it causes us pain. So we want to be very loose in our attachments. I have friends I love I care about it, but they come or go. I'm very philosophical about it.

You know, you tell yourself when one door closes, another one opens. I don't know if that's true, but make me feel better to time. let things go. Sometimes we hold on to things so tight, that's what causes the pain. And we were talking about the hot potato causing you pain. That was a problem of attachment.

You thought your pain was valuable. You want to keep it around like it was an old friend. It had no value, but you were attached to it and therefore it caused you what pain so a lot of times, attached attachment and pain don't even have to make any sense. We still latch on to them. Because they're familiar, very strange, but there it is. So, learn how to let go.

Here's the next contact concept. We copy other people should we? Well, sometimes the answer is yes, you get a real high end person. They have some good talent some good skills. I told you in the last section I have black belt and haka hippo. kung fu How'd I get that?

I copied somebody. I mean, I literally copied my instructor. I tried to get so deep into his skin, that I could feel how he was blocking and feel how he was moving and feel what it felt like for him when he threw somebody to the floor. Why? Because I wanted to make a really good copy. Because he was the exemplar you couldn't get better than that.

So by copying his movements by training, by imitating did great. I've got a whole training course on something called NLP it's called Neuro Linguistic program. cramming neuro linguistic programming, about maybe a third of it is all about modeling other people how we can take their positive traits and transfer them to ourselves. So yes, in some situations, we should copy other people. In other situations, you want to be a little bit more careful. Okay?

Be careful what you cop because you will duplicate it. Even in a very positive person, you may be copying some of their traits, because they're positive, but subconsciously picking up some of their negative traits, which are more hidden, more subdued. Make sure you have a good filter, you get the positive, you leave the negative. Here's the next thing. People have something called the sheep mentality. Man, man, the best sheep I can do.

Pretty good. No, okay. We'll discuss during the break, sheep mentality. all other things being equal. If you jump up and you take control, people will follow along. I used to show people different strategies how even if you were like the janitor, you know, or you were nobody in a meeting, you could take control.

I used to do this with like my CEO. You know, I'd raise my hand, I'd have a suggestion if I want to sell it. You know, I'd say, you know, as Michael wants told me, because he was the CEO, it says Michael wants told me blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And because I used his royal name right before I was going to use the ask, everybody was thinking about Michael, they used to follow on Michael. Okay, I was making a reasonable request. It was something that Michael would have done.

Michael is listening to this. He's the major decision maker in the room. He's saying, Oh, yeah, I would totally I totally remember saying that. I would probably do that. Everybody's expected me to go along with this because I just without even being involved somehow ended up supporting this. That's Paul's genius.

He snuck me into this. This thing is probably going to go through. Even though as CEO I normally wouldn't let it go through and the crowd everybody was above me in that crowd. I was the corporate A trainer, everybody was above me they were a director this or that. I was nobody. I was kind of this fringe thing, corporate trainer.

It was strange in the hierarchy. Michael because he liked me maybe one of the top five people in the company, there was over 600 people in this company. He listened to me more than he listened to the program directors, why I had his ear more, I made more sense. I used a lot of these strategies that I'm teaching you in these trainings. So I had a very high position and I was nobody, but I want over everybody single in there, everybody in that room, which means like the CFO, the Vice President. Michael is CEO and 12 other directors and there's Paul, last man on the totem pole.

In my initiative went through. There was a lot of people that didn't get their initiative, sir. Okay. Mine always went through like butter. Why? well planned, well strategized.

I use the sheep mentality. I knew if I acted like of course, you know, any intelligent person is going to go for this. If I acted like this thing must Be Done has to be done. If I took the leadership position with a sheet mentality, they would follow in behind. You can do the same thing when there's an emergency, there's a fire going on, you jump up and you say, follow me. Guess what?

90% Of the people in that room will follow you. They don't know if you know where the hell you're going. But you sounded so sure. And you took the charge. And then there was social proof because a couple of people followed you and then all the other sheep ran out that door. You could be run into a room full of explosives.

90% Of the people will go, it's the sheep mentality. Think of it this way. You're in a movie theater, and there's a fire. I'll tell you two interesting psychological facts. You know, where people are going to exit. They're going to exit in that one door, in the behind you in the back of the movie theater that you came in from.

Why? Two psychological reasons. One in an emergency We go out the way we can't. It's just sheer memory. But to you've been sitting in that movie theater, maybe for an hour and a half, you're staring at a big screen. Let me ask you what's on either side of that screen.

To exit doors with a lit exit sign. You've been staring at it for two hours. 98% of people will go back through that one door and probably crush each other in two out of the three exits won't be blocked. And where's that one exit where everybody's head now going into the movie theater, which is probably what? Hello, it's on fire, where the two back doors go. They go outside where there's no fire.

This is the sheep mentality, one person following another. Now to add a little bit to this. People do three things people pleasing. They bow to peer pressure and good for me. This is classically known as asking guessing that's a colloquial term for it as kissing, butt kissing. pucker up baby.

People because of Maslow's need hierarchy, the need to belong, they will people please, they will bow to peer pressure and they will conform. It's all for the same reason that belonging remember that was right above. Remember first first tier was survival, stay alive. lock that in belonging, friendship, love everything that would cause conformity. Now this isn't a bad thing. I just want you to know that it is and know how to utilize it.

I can get a lot of people do things just because I say please or Thank you or ask them for a favor. And they do it because they want to please me. Say, boy, this would be a really big favor. If you just do such and such for me. It's like they don't owe me anything, but they'll do it. Why?

Because people pleasing is ingrained in you. This is not a bad thing. As a society. If we didn't do conformity, there'll be chaos. If we didn't bow to peer pressure. We couldn't get any consensus and there would be what chaos.

If we didn't do people pleasing, if there wasn't some reciprocity, nobody would help anybody, and society would crash and we would all die. So these things, it's good that it's in place, people aren't foolish for doing it. They're foolish for not knowing about it, knowing how to see when it's being, you know, covertly put into a situation, okay, which I love to take advantage of, okay? And not having a counter for him. And we talked about gambits. counter, attack, counter attack, okay, you got a blocking counter blocking counter blocking counter, we have to know how to do these things.

So knowing that people love to please other people, give them an opportunity to please you do something you want, and then thank them for it. This actually is great for people self esteem. It makes them feel better, doesn't have to be a negative thing. Like I'm manipulating you. Sometimes I'll ask people to help me I don't really need their help, but I know they're having a bad day and I want them to feel better. And then I profusely thanked them afterwards.

And they're getting the social interaction with me. And they just feel amazing. I used to do it a lot of time with clients, if a client was kind of like, isolating or feeling bad or being down, I'd have helped me with something I didn't really need any help with, Hey, can you help me make some copies stand here and I'm gonna, I'm gonna stack them in your arms or something, you know, or just sort these for me, if you would something I could have done two seconds by myself. Meanwhile, I'm just talking about anything. That's nothing that isn't depressing for them. And I'm thanking them along the way, hey, this was really nice, you know, I knew I could trust you to help me out, blah, blah, blah.

You're really sweet person for doing this. And their esteem would just go through the roof. I could use positive peer pressure, same as other people use negative peer pressure. I say why don't you come over here and hang out with us? This is where all the cool kids are sitting. No, it was it was where all the staff was said.

But I use, you know, a classical peer pressure term to get you to actually take the action. Okay. And usually when I say this is where the cool kids are sitting, you know, you know, kids or adults laugh at that. Okay, conformity. I can I can say, Hey, everybody else's doing it, you know, and you'll do it. What are you going to be the only person that doesn't do it, you're gonna be only a person that doesn't bring a present or this or that or whatever, you can get a lot of compliance with conformity.

Not a bad thing. Okay, that's it for these tips and tricks this section. Now you understand a little bit more about why people do the things they do, and I'll see you in the next section.