Five lies your body is telling others. Why is communication through body language and appropriate language crucial to networking success. Most people take quick note of someone who has an attitude. A person who acts belligerently like a normal and those who ego sticks out like a sore thumb. This is not the kind of person you generally want to do business with. That goes for languages Well, you do not want to hang with someone who is negative always plays the victim and is always whining about one thing or another.

People like to talk to people who are positive, know their business and offer free advice. The way a person is speaking has an effect on listeners. And the message is pretty clear. But what may not be Be so evident is the effect of the listeners body language on the speaker. The fact that body language can work for you, if you take time to listen to others is really important. The act of listening changes your body language almost immediately, so that you can understand what the other person is saying.

You've changed from aggressive mode to passive mode. This is a type of body language that makes others receptive to you and they will want you to tell you their story. People like to talk about themselves. When telling their story, it is important that you gently nudge the person in the right direction. You want them to tell you about their business pain, or what is not right with their company. It is through analyzing what they're saying that you will gain deeper insights as to what the needs are and what can be remedied and how you can help them with that part of their business.

After all, you are at the event to pick up solid leads that will give you both profit and relationships that will Last for quite some time. What about language the kind of language you are using? Shouldn't be real you have you considered. I'll find out if I can help. I know someone who even reiterating what they just said is good. You now have practiced and rehearsed and done the dress rehearsal filmed yourself done the critique, worked with your director herself and you finally perfect your pitch.

And now your body language, it is now time to try it on a live audience of real people. The first thing to make sure you have chosen the right event to attend and the next what you are pitching is appropriate for the audience at that event, and the next section we will talk about choosing the appropriate event. According to experts, a substantial portion of your communication is nonverbal. Everyday we respond to thousands of nonverbal cues and behaviors including postures, facial expression, eye gaze, gestures, tone of voice From our handshakes to our hairstyles, nonverbal details, review who we are and how we impact and relate to other people. You walk into the room, no one in particular notices you at first, you walk up to someone to introduce yourself, what do they see? What do you see?

You walk up and you see grooming, clothing, dress for the occasion. fingernails, manner of address, eyes, handshake, do have all of these in order. You may be wondering what the eyes are telling others. In a class I took in Vancouver one year I came across an instructor that was very consistent with his body language. You knew right away that what he said he meant and he knew what he was talking about. One of the first lessons he taught me was to watch the eyes, you could tell if a person was lying and making up a story or simply recalling information and telling the truth.

Look at a person in the eyes and notice their eye direction, it will tell you a great deal about who they are. Now, we're going to go through a series of six components here as we look into the eyes and these will be eye directions. So what we are talking about here is when we are looking directly at a right handed person, first, up and to the left. This is for visually constructed images. If you ask someone imagine a pink elephant. This would be the directions their eyes move.

And this is while they're thinking about the question, pink elephant. They are visually constructed it because They have no experience with it. Next is up and to the right. This is called visually remembered images. If you ask someone what was the color of your first car, their eyes would move up and to the right. They are remembering what the color of their car was.

I also move in the direction of what they hear or constructing what they hear. Next are the sounds. Our eyes do move from left to right, depending on the sounds, and those we remember. First, let's take a look at auditory constructed. This means the eyes will move to the left. If you ask someone to try and create the highest sound of the pitch possible in their head, their eyes would move to the left that is because they have never heard that sound before.

Next is auditory remembered. This means the We'll move to the right. If you ask, Do you remember the sound of your mother's voice? The eyes will certainly move to the right. Take a look at your friends The next time you ask them a question about something they have heard before. Now there are two other eye movements down to the left and down to the right.

First, down to the left. These are feelings such as smell, taste or other senses. If you ask someone can you remember the smell of popcorn? This would be the direction their eyes move. While they are thinking about that wonderful smell of popcorn. Next is down and to the right.

This is internal dialogue. It simply means the person is talking to themselves. If you are facing the person and you're giving them some information, and their eyes move in that direction, it simply means they're talking to themselves and not listening. To what you have to say. There are other components that involve eyes such as gaze, blinking and pupil size. We will not go into these in this course.

But remember, all of these movements are based on the fact that you are looking at a right handed person. If the person is left handed, that will be the opposite movement. Next, we're going to take a look at what is written all over your face. There are several components to what is written on a face. First attitude are micro expressions. These are quite obvious.

If someone is smiling at you, you will assume that they are happy. But if there is no wrinkling or increase in puffiness and the general muscle movement around the eyes, you will know that the person is faking the smile. If their face lights right up, you will know that they are making a big effort to make a big smile to let you know they're happy. There are several other attitudes that show on people's faces. First sadness, your eyebrows will go up. Your lips will be turned down.

Contempt. one corner of the mouth rises, like a half smile. disgust. The top lip is raised showing the teeth in some extreme cases like scorn. Surprise, the mouth gapes and the eyebrows are raised, fear eyebrows are raised and the lower part of the mouth goes right down. swallowing also indicates fear.

Anger, lips tightened, flared nostrils, eyebrows pulled down. Wow, all those signs of anger. The next component is people watching. Start looking Look at people look at films on TV. Watch TV shows, write down what you see, as sometimes difficult to detect facial expressions at first, it will take some practice, but establish a baseline for yourself so that you're able to at least zero in on one component of attitude. Now, if you have watched lie to me, a fictional crime drama about a person who was a scientist, who is a real scientist in forensic psychology, who helped solve crimes with facial expressions, so if you have a chance, and can see some past episodes lie to me, it'd be well worthwhile to see what he is looking at.

Last but not least, is universal language. Now you may wonder what universal language is all about. But some facial expressions are also among the most universal forms of body language. expressions, fear, anger, sadness, and happiness are all similar throughout the world. Take a look at the friends around you or the people around you to see if you can see smiles. And does it count for everyone?

It certainly does. Now, how are you standing up to pressure first of all? Now, what about your mouth? It can be a dead giveaway as well. Consider this. pursed lips, distaste, disapproval or distrust.

Lip biting could mean worried, anxious or stressed, covering the mouth. Maybe to avoid displaying emotion. Sometimes people will hide their smile or their smirk turned up or turn down. turned up usually indicates a smile as an happy turn down can often be sad or disapproving. You have to know the person that Sometimes in order to get there, so let's take this one step further. Let's talk about personal space.

There are several rings to personal space and I'm going to describe each of them for you so that you know which way to go. First we have something called intimate distance. Now, intimate distance is usually six to 18 inches. There are about and it means a sense of belonging, that is the physical distance it usually means a closer relationship or good comfort with other individuals. Now I do belong to a rotary club and we hug each other when we come in the door. That is called an intimate distance.

Next, is something called personal distance. And that is usually one and a half to four feet. Family members or close friends are the people that usually get into your personal space. Usually people that you weren't familiar with, the closer the people can comfortably stand while interacting with you can be an indicator of their relationship with you. Next is something we call social distance. This is usually reserved for acquaintances, or if you're at a networking event, this is the level where most people will stand when they are talking to at least initially, and this is from four to 12 feet.

When you know someone furry well, such as a co worker you see several times a week, you might feel more comfortable interacting at a closer distance. If you do not know the person, well, maybe your postal delivery driver or someone you see once or twice a month, the distance of 10 to 12 feet is probably more comfortable. Now finally, there's something else and this one is called public distance. And that is 12 to 25 feet. And that is usually when you are giving a public speaking event. This means the distance between you and your audience.

Now, if you go back to networking events, you probably move between social and personal. Unless you know the person intimately, then you will hit the intimate space. Now let's take a look at arms. These are all part of gestures, arms, legs, and so on. Now, there are two different components here there are use of your arms. The arms and legs can also be conveying nonverbal information, crossing arms, defensiveness, crossing legs, maybe it's discomfort, or maybe it's just the way they like to sit.

There are other subtle signs such as expanding arms widely. An attempt to see larger More commanding, while arms close to the body may be a way for a person to minimize themselves and withdraw attention. We also want to look more at arm positioning. When you are looking at body language pay attention to some of the following signals. If a person has crossed arms, they may be defensive, self protected, or they may be closed off to listening to what you have to say. Think about the people that you see with crossed arms when you talk to them.

Is it their comfort? Or are they simply being defensive? Next, standing with the hands placed on the hips. It could be a sign of control or possibly aggressiveness. clasping the hands behind the back might indicate the person is born anxious and it could even mean anger rapidly tapping Fingers are fidgeting. That's usually a bored person who's impatient or frustrated.

Cross legs that can indicate that the person is feeling closed off or simply need a privacy. For me, I cross my legs but it's not for the need of privacy. It is simply that I am more comfortable sitting with my legs crossed. Next, we are going to take a look at what our hands are telling us. First up, is gesturing. gestures are obvious body signals.

Waving, pointing using the fingers to count or show numerical amounts are very common, and they're easy to understand. Sometimes you tell a child you've got three to get something done you push up the fingers 123 the child understands. But you have to remember some gestures are cultural And maybe offensive in some countries where they are not for us. For example, thumbs up or a peace sign has a completely different meaning than it might in North America. Next, let's take a look at fists. There are several ways that we indicate motion and emotion through our fists.

A clenched fist, sometimes can indicate anger, or perhaps it is a movement and solidarity is part of it. Thumbs up and thumbs down. used for approval or disapproval in some cultures, the okay gesture by touching the thumb and the index finger together with a big O. That means yes, everything is okay. But in other cultures, it may mean something entirely different. So make sure before you use gestures for anything That you find out which culture you are addressing and what hand signals work.

The V sign, as I indicated before, means peace or victory in some countries in the United Kingdom and Australia, that symbol is offensive. The last component is thought. When you were in an interview situation, negotiating something with someone talking to them in a closed group or talking to them one on one, showing that you are indeed thinking over your answer is a positive thing. By using hand signals with the arms, the legs, the eyes, the face, and particularly the hands. If you are thinking about something, you may put your hand to your cheek, your eyes could look away, your head may be tilted and your eyes may be looking up. So whether you are on the receiving end of someone thinking or you are doing the thinking, there are certain gestures that give away.

If you want to know more about gesturing, most of this information came from mind tools calm. Let's recap this lesson. Here are the ideas to remember. Soft skills, body language, attitude, and how to communicate your words have a larger impact on the response you get than actual words. People react to emotions and feelings more than simple messages. If you are warm, friendly and sincere and show it then more business will come your way.

Caring about the other person shows an absolutely every action. First recovered, Look into my eyes. Eyes are a dead giveaway when it comes to telling the truth or lying. It may not be that easy to detect, but if you do some practice you will be able to tell when people are telling the truth. Flying remains to be proved Next, it is written all over your face. facial expressions are fairly simple to see, you know when they are happy and sad and perhaps showing contempt.

Take time to watch people and see if you can spot one of these emotions immediately. facial expressions are universal so the language barriers are minimal when it comes to emotions shown on the face. Next, we talked about how are you standing up to pressure all parts of the body are a giveaway to sincerity. posture is one of the keys to knowing if a person is interested in what you were saying. Look for mouth expressions to see where the conversation is going. gestures how to work with your arms.

Fidgeting is a shirt clue that the person wants to be somewhere else. Hand in arm gestures are big clues as to the interest of the person listening to Another person. What hand and arm gestures Do you exhibit when talking to others? Do your arms give away your passion for your business? What are your hands telling us? Are your hands well groomed?

Be aware of your fingernails? Are they clean and presentable? Hands off and talk along with your voice. How much do you reveal with your hand movements as a speaker, your hands are important for getting your point across. Watch your body language as you rehearse your pitch. You want to make sure your hand movements facial expressions and eyes are all synchronized to give the right message.

Now it is time to find events where you can put all your information about into your networking practice. We will next focus on networking like the rich and famous