About
I entered my parents' home on an ordinary Wednesday morning, expecting a typical greeting of hugs and well wishes. What I saw completely surprised me. Dad hovered over Mom's recliner and was hitting it with a baseball bat. "What are you doi... read more I entered my parents' home on an ordinary Wednesday morning, expecting a typical greeting of hugs and well wishes. What I saw completely surprised me. Dad hovered over Mom's recliner and was hitting it with a baseball bat. "What are you doing?" was my immediate, horrified reaction, to which Dad replied, "Killing the aliens" I don't know about you, but I was unprepared for that response. My mind was racing. What if Mom had been sitting in her chair when Dad "saw" the aliens and began beating the chair? Why didn't I know he had a baseball bat? How do I respond to this bizarre behavior? My poor dad was shaking from being so frightened, yet he still tried to protect Mom. How can I diffuse this situation? Dad had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease a few years earlier, but he had never experienced hallucinations before, at least that I had witnessed. I had never even known anyone who had Parkinson's before, so I was utterly unprepared to be their caregiver. Unfortunately, I did what most do and responded to bizarre behavior with rational answers, but a mind struggling with dementia no longer processes logic, and the ability to reason is gone. I researched to find a solution. I didn't find much, so I created my own. I wanted to get rid of the aliens, and I finally managed to do it too. Becoming the primary caregiver for my mother-in-law, who had Alzheimer's, was interesting when we moved her in with us. Her favorite time to wander out of the house was 2-3 AM. Traditional methods didn't work, so we created our own. My Mom had a 21-year struggle with vascular dementia. Mom introduced me to continual repeating. She loved to read but lost the ability to remember plots, so I wrote a book for her with quotes, bible verses, and funny stories from our lives. That pattern repeats over and over. There is no plot, just humor, inspiration, and encouragement. Mom taught me to be more creative and more patient. We even learned to laugh after the words no longer came. I created The Purple Vine to support caregivers. I share lessons learned, strategies created, novel approaches and encouragement. I can cut years off your learning curve and help you avoid common pitfalls. I share my mistakes so you can learn from them, and I also share creative approaches to solving your difficulties. Not all problems can be avoided, but life can certainly be more manageable.