Okay, so let's break this down a little bit. In the beginning, you have a very clear motif right here. If you remember a motif has two parts it has rhythmical element and certain intervals, the rhythm is very clear. It's Dun, dun, dun dun. And the intervals start with a leap, and then a leap back down and then a step up. And we see that same pattern repeated to other times, the note intervals are different.

But in generally we have a leap, another leap down and then a step up. Same thing here, a leap up, leap down, and then a step up. Then we have a second motif that comes in, which is a bunch of distend five descending notes as they move down and then we start the whole phrase over again. Now you may have noticed as I did when I was listening to this video, The line, that it's pretty similar to the one that I presented in the class, in terms of having one motif that repeats itself three times, and then a second motif at the end. And I want to say something about that, if you're a beginning student, like Yosh is who is just getting started with writing melodies, the best thing you can do is to steal and copy from other people. If you're starting out, this is not the time to be trying to create something brand new.

I don't even really think that there's anything new anyways, it's all about repeating and re mixing what's already out there. But again, in the beginning of your studies, it's incredibly important to take what's already working out there and play with it so that you become familiar with what makes a strong melody line. Now when we analyze this melody by itself, meaning with no chords underneath, it's certainly easy for us to look at the motif and to analyze a couple other elements. As in the rhythmical dissonance that's happening from syncopation, also how the phrase goes down a little bit here and then peaks at this point, which will create a certain amount of tension that's released at the end of the phrase. Without any chords. It's hard for us to determine if the pieces generally consonant or a certain amount of dissonance.

Yosh adds chords. The second part here Right off the bat, I would say that this song would fall more in the pop music type of category, because it's pretty accessible to listen to. I mean, there's not a lot of sections that really challenged the listener with a high degree of dissonance or rhythmical complexity. And most of the notes lined up with chords beneath them, except for this chord right here. And I was curious as to whether this was intentional. And so I asked Yosh about it.

Yes, actually, that's a good point. So I did. I did try to keep it with. Try to keep it constant. And then I realized, hey, I need to add some dissonance to it. So then I thought, Hey, you know what, I've moved the corporation down, but I'll keep the motif in the same place.

And that kind of added the dissonance. So that was like a conscious effort. Okay, okay. Okay, so a couple thoughts on that. Again, I think it's really commendable for Yosh as he's just starting out to try all these techniques in the context of writing his own melody line to not judge and just see what happens. Because the more that you experiment these ideas, the more fluent you're going to get at using them.

And eventually you'll hone in on how to use them. But if you don't experiment, you'll end up stagnating and never growing. So don't be afraid to try them out. Even if the results end up being something that you're not happy with. Okay, back to this melody line with the chords underneath. Right off the bat.

I have a couple suggestions. I think the first chord works well. The second chord definitely has quite a bit of dissonance to it. That I feel like is a little bit out of character with a pop oriented piece, where it tends to be pretty consonant and not have a lot of dissonance. However, It might be just that element of spice that makes it really unique. So maybe I would leave it the voicing and the third quarter.

Create some challenges up ahead. I don't really want to go into too much detail on that. But I would suggest changing these notes to these instead. So it sounds like this now mainly because he's already established the pattern of having these two notes play a chord, and they're moving down. I would just keep that progression going. As the melody line is going up, a baseline is going down.

This needs to be moved down as well. Now, this chord, I think is a real problem. Using this chord ends up creating the impression that the phrases ending. Like we could just kind of end there and stop. Even though that sounds a little bit awkward. I think what would work better is if we went back to an F major chord.

So right now we have G minor, F major, E flat major comes back to us. And then here's how this sounds after I've changed the question. The other thing that I might suggest is to change this chord, a C minor. Let's listen to how that sounds. These are some minor suggestions, but they're changing the chord progression to be a little bit more in line with the kind of question progressions you might find in pop music. Not that I'm trying to turn Josh's piece into a pop song.

But as he mentioned, that's already the direction that he was going. So I'm trying to make suggestions that are in line with the genre that he's aiming for.