Welcome to the self sabotage video. In this video, we will explore the things that keep you stuck. Your challenge is to think about where you might be feeling resistance with your choice to be tobacco free. For example, did you start out strong and are now resorting back to old ways of being and doing? self sabotage comes up for everyone. We just don't know when it will show up.

It could be four weeks after quitting tobacco. It could be one year after quitting, it could be just three days after quitting. The key is to identify it when it surfaces and then reprogram your thoughts. So you can squash the sabotage and stay on track. This video will provide some examples of the most common types of self sabotage that will likely show up but there may be others you will recognize. In some cases, you can think ahead to events that are coming up for you identify what you might be tempted with the challenges and squash self sabotage with a great plan.

On How To Avoid smoking in those situations. Usually, however, self sabotage creeps up on us. It gets us thinking that smoking would be okay. Or that just having one smoke would be just fine that no one would ever know. Truth is, it often can be enough to get us smoking again, feeling really awful about not succeeding at quitting, and really discouraged that we lit up that cigarette when we had been doing so well. sabotage comes mainly from two directions, the behavior of our friends, family or colleagues, or from our own inner rebellion.

Others watching you venture into the healthier lifestyle may make comments or they may rebel against you. You might notice that others close to you feel threatened when you embark on this journey have been tobacco free, and they will tempt you with cigarettes, triggers and activities you are trying to move away from You might feel guilty that your friends, family or coworkers are feeling this way. And you may sabotage yourself so that you are accepted. Remember, it's not your fault that they feel bad. These reactions are really just about fear. Fear of not being loved by others without the courage to take such a bold step as you are may unconsciously hope that you feel your success would be uncomfortable or challenging for them.

When you take a step toward value, valuing yourself more, your relationships are forced to shift. Your own rebellion is often based on your own fear of change, of taking responsibility for your life. What if you could no longer hide behind excuses for not becoming exactly what you want to become? Or not allowing yourself to really be who you truly wish to be? So let's start by giving you a few examples of self sabotage clues as to what might come up For you will be there in past quit attempts. Think back to what got you smoking again, after a short or even a long term quit.

There's some big clues there, you will want to notice. If you have not quit smoking in the past, then simply write down the self sabotage scenarios that kind of resonate with you. The ones that make you say to yourself, oh, yeah, I can see myself giving in to the urge to smoke in that type of situation. So self sabotage number one, desire is desiring acceptance. An example if you've been tobacco free for approximately seven weeks, let's say, but you are now on a trip to Mexico with your spouse who smokes, and some friends who smoke. You don't want to start again but everyone else is smoking or so it seems.

You are all enjoying a few cocktails and it just seems easier to join in. You were very disappointed with yourself. And after that night, you were Thinking that you are now a smoker again, and that you'll just have to start over one more time. And here's another example of desiring acceptance. Let's say you've been tobacco free for nine months, you're attending a funeral of a friend's father and have been reunited with long lost friends. One friend is not aware of the fact that you quit smoking and offers you a smoke rather than explained to the to them that you have quit.

You take the cigarette and smoke with a couple of your old buddies. You're thinking that just one or two is no big deal. But next thing you know you're driving to the corner store to buy more. You just want it to be one of the guys. When self sabotage shows up, get in the habit of asking yourself the following important questions. Is it true?

Is that really true? How am I feeling and acting because of the way I am thinking? How am I type feeler act if I change the way I am thinking Commit to changing your thoughts, overcoming your fears, and taking responsibility for your health and how your life turns out. So an example of self sabotage Scenario number two is, I've been good, I deserve a smoke. An example would be you always have a smoke right after you complete a task at work, or after you've finished some homework at school. It's your way of celebrating a job well done, or at least it has been in the past.

Now you know that smoking is not a reward at all, but you have convinced yourself that it is. self sabotage Scenario number three is I'm bored. I have nothing to do. I'm going for smoke. The truth is in this situation that you are not being mindful of your smoking, lighting up that smoke might beat the boredom for a few seconds, but often people are smoking by themselves. These thoughts could be coming up more often when you have little to do More so than when you are busy.

Suddenly you have a lit cigarette in your hand, and you don't remember craving it, grabbing it or lighting it up. But there it is. self sabotage Scenario number four is something or someone else always seems more important than quitting. Your spouse, for example, your kids, your parents, everyone else comes before you and your plan to become tobacco free. You have no time to think about how you might want to show up for yourself, let alone actually doing it. You know, you want to quit smoking and get healthy, but you keep putting it off thinking that one day you will be able to focus on yourself.

Self sabotage Scenario number five is I smoke when I'm stressed out, what am I going to do with my anxiety? If I don't smoke? Here's an example. You're having a crazy day at work and your stress level is about a 15 out of 10 and your brain loads up. If I don't go out for a smoke right now. might kill somebody.

We've covered this scenario in other videos. But remember, there's nothing in that secret that relieves stress. When we feel stressed or anxious. However, we fall back on what we know and what we've always done. And for some of us, that's happiness take route, it will take some work to come up with other things we can do to beat stress and anxiety, like the 557 breathing, but it's worth it because you will now be using healthy strategy to manage your emotions. So here's what to do when sabotage shows up.

First of all, recognize it. Remember, you were told it would show up, just take a moment and say, Oh, yeah, there you are self sabotage. I see you and I'm going to deal with you before I smoke again. Next, ask yourself, Is it true? Is one of your brain telling you about the situation you find yourself in with a cigarette in your hand, ready to light up? Is it really true Am I feeling and acting because of the way I'm thinking?

And how might I feel or act if I change the way I'm thinking, changing the way you're thinking, telling yourself what's really true is the key to moving forward. remind yourself of your goal to quit. Step back for a moment and think about that goal. be reminded of all the good reasons for getting what you want. What were all the good reasons you had for quitting tobacco for good. Now, what might be all the bad reasons for getting what you want?

There are usually a few bad reasons for quitting that we haven't even thought of yet. Now they are staring us in the face. Who else might be affected negatively if you change and successfully quit smoking? Forget? Is it possible that smoking when sabotage shows up has a positive intention for you? It's a big question.

Did it generate love and a way of belonging with the rest of the game? Isn't it Part of how you bond with your spouse, your coworker or your best friend, then it makes sense that you would want to hold on to that sense of belonging. You might be worried that you will grow apart from someone who is important to you. What other ways might you be able to reward yourself for a job well done for to beat that boredom? What other ways might you be able to manage stress and anxiety and what changes might allow you to feel like this is important for you, more important than anything else? Moving on past the sabotage is all about loading up a new way of thinking and being.

Let's start by thinking that part of you that's been managing this for so long, imagine that some part of you was put on the job to make sure that you felt safe and that you belonged. Belonging simply means to be the same as when we have a challenge with desiring acceptance, thinking that we deserve a little extra or need to beat boredom or manage stress and anxiety for Feeling like others are more important than quitting. We can ask ourselves who or what am i wanting to belong with? There is a part of you that is responsible for ensuring that lets notice that part of you that has done an excellent job. But that's also what you want to notice as the part of you that's keeping you stuck. Next, let's connect with that part of you inside that has been afraid to change gently explained to that part of you that there are some exciting new developments and that you are upgrading all of the software in your body.

Essentially, you are firing that part of you that stuck, let those parts of you that don't want to change know that you are aware that they had a positive intention for not accepting changes. You can preserve the positive intention, but you also want to update the methods used to carry out that intention. The old ways of doing things worked in the past, but that way of being and thinking is no longer needed. You can still feel A sense of belonging, you can still reward yourself or beat boredom. You can manage stress and anxiety by putting the right conditions in place. This way when sabotage comes up in the future, you'll make a conscious positive choice rather than a dysfunctional destructive one.

Picture yourself in the coming weeks are in a similar situation in the future. sabotage loads up what needs to be in place so you are set for inevitable success, so that you can squash the self sabotage so that you stay on track and tobacco free. Let's load that thought and feeling into the old spot where you were stuck, where change didn't want to occur, where fear to change resided. Every time we respond to a trigger to smoke in a new way, we begin to break the old neural connections in our brain to that trigger. Some ideas are more effective than others at eliminating triggers. But the process itself is extremely valuable when you see what worked and what didn't, and then learn from it.

Every time you notice yourself, respond in a new way to that same trigger to that thing, self sabotage, take a few moments to savor it and let it sink in. You might want to notice what strengths skills or strategies enabled you to respond more effectively in the moment, so that you can leverage this new awareness in the future and use it again. Remember that change doesn't mean you are required to grow apart from the people you love. feeling too good might feel unfamiliar and our body and mind might start to freak out. And our thoughts might be convincing us that we should go back to the way things were that were more familiar like smoking again. But being more mindful of everything that comes up for you will allow you to assess whether your thoughts are true or not.

Take a step back, before you light up that smoke. Decide what is good about you. getting what you want, and then load up a new way of thinking and being that includes staying on track. That includes being tobacco free.