Hello there, it's Adam shore, the hot guy talking about my course on resilience and in this particular module, we're going to look at how your emotions come into play. First thing I'm going to say here is that there is no such thing as a negative emotion. You're probably thinking, that's not true, Adam. So let me say it again. There is no such thing as a negative emotion. How does that work?

Well, your emotions are a guidance, let's call your emotional guidance system. Now you might experience something, let's take anger. Now you feel angry, that you're feeling angry for a reason. That doesn't mean that anger is a bad thing. It's just an indicator that this interaction is making you feel angry inside, and it's an indicator to do something about it. You might feel sad, again is an indicator, your body say this isn't working.

This is making me sad. And you've the choice to dwell on that or to do something about it. If somebody is making you angry, then it's your job to deal with that anger. Now, how do we deal with anger? We're going to look at this we're going to look in this module about how your body is pretty much acting as a courtroom. So let's explain that.

How does your body become a courtroom? Well, let's just say that your your heart is the jury. Your head is the judge and your body is the courtroom. Let's take this analogy and this look at how how stress works in this respect. So your brain is the one that's making the decision and putting seeing what's going on. So somebody comes and makes you angry.

Let's say it's your boss. And your boss comes and says, I'm sorry, your works below par, it's useless. They fail to acknowledge all of the good stuff that you've done. You're feeling you're feeling angry, you're feeling frustration that you haven't been acknowledged. Now, you're feeling that way, because they've done something that has wronged you that needs to be dealt with in your wife. Now, you might be concerned that if you have a go at the boss, or if you communicate this to your boss, that you might lose your job.

So what happens you're feeling this anger, you're feeling this frustration, and what your body does is store it because this isn't resolved. Your heart saying no. The jury saying, No, I'm not having that. But your head saying, sorry, your verdict is irrelevant. In this case. In this case, even though the jury has spoken.

The judges say no, because we might lose our job so we can store it. It's like locking up the emotion in your body. So your body becomes a prison of unresolved emotions is how your body's courtroom works. So if this is happening on a daily basis, maybe you're having arguments with your partner. But you don't want to rock the boat. You don't want to upset anybody.

So the jury saying, hang on, this isn't right. But the head, your judge is saying, No, it's not going there. Let's Let's jail it up. Now, we're all resilient to a degree we can all take this on a daily basis. But when we're taking this day in, day out, and the judge keeps overruling the kangaroo court because these emotions are there for a reason. They're there to guide you to a better place.

What if the emotions were trying to make you angry enough to leave your job or to at least seek alternative employment? What is it Making you sad enough to say no Enough is enough. Your emotions are guiding you to look to seek out a better place and how you deal with it. It's up to you. So we've got your body as a courtroom. And not only that, but when people eventually it's a bit like a volcano.

In the courtroom, if we keep repressing emotions, if the if the judge keeps getting in the way of the jury's decisions, it stores all of these negative emotions over time. And then what happens is somebody somewhere down the line will say something and it will just be the breaking point. So, if you had if you've said something seemingly harmless to someone, and they completely lost the plot at you, if they've come at you when they thrown all this stuff, and it seems completely disproportional to what you've been discussing Well, you have just experienced the volcanic reaction of when people store relationships or, or negative emotions over time in their bodies. Cobra, it's a bit like a jailbreak. If you put too many people in the prison, if you put too many emotions in the body, you'll start to develop aches and pains. These are classic symptoms that you're taking on board too much that you're not dealing with these emotions.

And you're judging them as negative emotions. And your your head is saying I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't be reacting this way. But your body, your heart, your jewelry is always telling you what's working and what isn't. One thing that fascinates me is that from studies, it's shown that we act with three times more energy to something negative, that happens to something positive. Now, let me give you an example.

This we're trained, we are trained to focus on negatives. Think of the news. When was the last time you heard a genuinely uplifting story on the news? You probably struggling with that one. And yet, if I say things, some bad things that have been on the news, you can probably just fire away, left, right and center because most of the news taps in to our need to focus on negatives. And how that works in a practical situation is, I may say to you, I may be in front of you and say, I think you're fantastic.

I think you look good. I think you're really great at your job. I think that you're going to be somebody brilliant in the future. And not only that, but you make a difference in my life. I think that you're really very intelligent, very special, and very gifted. If I then went round to say, but you're putting on weight and you've got a bit of a big nose.

The odds are most people. And it's not even both one or the other, that will delete all of those positive things. And focus on that person just said I was putting on weight. Well, that person had to go about my nose and what's wrong with my dogs anyway, this is how human beings work. We focus more on negatives than we do on positives. And again, this affects our ability to be resilient.

Now, when people, people have two aspects of their B, we've got logic and emotion. Now we are emotional beings, justifying our actions through logic. And here's how it works. If we get a high emotion, our logic goes down proportionately. Now, if we if we're out of that emotional zone, we're a lot better able to be logical. But again, for all of you, Star Trek fans out there, we don't want to turn into Spock or Vulcan.

You can be too logical. We're emotional people, people like to know that you feel what they're experiencing as well. So different things affect our emotional status. And if we're in a highly emotional place where people have been angry at you, trying to fight back with logic, trying to argue trying to reason with people, we're in a highly emotional state. Well, maybe you've been there. I used to have these arguments all the time growing up and my parents were I'd done lots of little things that used to wind them up and suddenly bang, they're exploding at me.

And I'm trying to reason through the point. But really, that's just the one point I've missed the hundred other things that I've done to upset them leading up to that. So me trying to be logical at a time like that was just ridiculous, and pointless. And all it did was fanned the flames. A little bit more for me, maybe you already know this place. Maybe you've had that experience where somebody is in a very emotional state, and you've tried to say something logical OR reasonable things like it will get better with time, or take a deep breath and calm down.

You don't really want to hear it when you're angry. So his big resilient tip for you, if somebody is shouting and screaming at you, the first thing to know is to feel your emotions, you already know that that doesn't feel good. What you can do is start taking deeper breaths, you can work on your own energy if somebody is is is losing the plot in front of you. What you can also do is set a an energy shield around you. And just by thinking about that, it will happen. Just put up a nice shield and keep your nice positive energy inside it.

And you can do that by breathing deeper Listen to the person because nothing will anger an angry person like walking off mid sentence. If you want to try and get a good result with someone who's angry, let them speak. Now I liken emotions to a Riptide. Now if anyone knows about Riptide I fortunately never been caught in one. But I have been in a position where I've had that explain to me what happens in a Riptide. Now a Riptide is a is a is a current that there's very strong that will rip you out where you're at, and it often takes you in the wrong direction.

Now from the lifeguards that I've spoken to a lot of people die trying to fight against or trying to swim against rip tide, they lose all their energy as they're being ripped out further to see. The Secret apparently, is to go with the Riptide to not swim against it to go until it runs its course. And then wherever you find yourself then to come back to the show. It's the same with somebody in a heightened emotional space. You need to let them say what they're going to say. And what you can do is protect your energy.

Simply by breathing deep by just imagining a shield around you that's filled with positivity and to know that this person's anger, anger is not just about what you've done. It's this build up is this kangaroo court that creates all of these trapped emotions. They may have had an argument with their partner that day, they may have had something bad happen to them where they weren't able to express themselves, and you may be the easy target. So realize when people are angry, it's rarely just about the thing that you've done. There's a whole stack of reasons that come up that get people in a heightened emotional state. So breathe it in.

Now if your life or your well being is in danger, that's a different kettle of fish. Get out as soon as you can is always my advice, but for everything else, Let it run its course let the person say what they're going to say. When they finish signing it, what you can say is, look, I understand that right now you're a little bit upset. What I'm going to do is because I'm feeling a bit upset too, I'm going to go for a quick walk, I'm gonna come back and then we can discuss this very shortly, when we both had a little bit of time, just to settle down a little bit. This is a massive key to developing your emotional resilience. Never try and argue with somebody who's in a very heightened emotional state, disconnect and know that this is happening.

But not only that, remember, when I spoke about your relationship with yourself being the most important thing, it's it's not easy to dissociate yourself from other people's accusations. If somebody's calling you unpleasant things, they're saying nasty things about you. First thing to do is no, it's to say, look, this is a sword. This is an issue. This is a situation that we're not going to resolve easily. What I need to do is disconnect.

So the awareness that this is a situation that right here right now I'm not really going to get a positive outcome. Now there are exceptions. If you're highly skilled in communication, you can bring that situation around skillfully. And if you can do that great, but if you can't just firstly have the awareness, this is the heightened emotional situation. Secondly, put your protection up in your mind thinking about it will create this boundary of energy, deepen your breathing. But personally, I listened to them when they finished disconnect, walk away, and you can come back later when you're both in a more logical place.

And you can talk about it. Because that's how we work. That's how the body's courtroom. That's how it Emotion plays out throughout this. So understanding the dynamic of emotion in your life in your relationships will help you to get more positive results and it will help you to build your resilience. And in the next video, we will look at how you can manage your stress