You might not have a birth support person with you. Our Trust considered whether to put these Birthing Better skills into this course. Many hospitals are restricting their maternity wards. In some fathers are not even permitted. And in others, only one person.

Who do you choose as your birth-coach?

Choose the person who will be in this child's life after birth. The rise of Doulas came when the Natural Birth Movement in the late 1970s told fathers they should not 'coach' a woman which they were doing using both Lamaze and The Bradley Method (Father-coached childbirth). 

In fact, the reason fathers were permitted into birth from the 1960s onward was women demanding that your husband/other come and help us. When we shared birth and birth-coaching skills, our families become stronger.

In the mid1970s, fathers were told to 'support' a woman's choices and to 'protect the sacred space of birth'. These ideas are crazy.

• Once a baby is born, a woman doesn't want the father to stand behind her giving her support as she changes the diaper. She wants him to have the skills to change the diaper.
• Women don't actually know what they want at birth and a partner, father, or other get confused as women change their minds.
• Any birth provider will walk right around a person trying to 'protect' the birth space if they feel there's an issue.

Fathers/others absolutely must be the primary birth-coach. Birthing Better fathers who developed these skills were very, very serious that they needed the right skills to help their birthing woman cope well and get through this activity with as little trauma emotionally, psychologically, and physically as possible.

Should you have a Doula?

Sure. You and your birth-coaching partner should teach your birth doula the skills you've learned and used them as another person who shares these skills. Actually, our New Zealand NGO, Common Knowledge Trust has asked tens of thousands of pregnant women where do they need the most help? Pregnancy, birth, or afterward?

The vast majority of women want help after birth. They want someone to clean, shop, cook, take care of any kids, take the baby so the woman can nap, and ease the load off of both the new mother and father.

Our NGO hopes Doulas will focus more on post-birth care and that fathers/other family member becomes the primary birth-coach just as they will be one of the primary parent/other to this child. We included these skills because you can practice them together in pregnancy. This gives the birthing woman confidence that her significant other knows how to give her support even if they are not able to be present.

In this lesson, you'll receive 2 PDFs

• Teamwork, You need to work well together. This PDF is full of practical skills for specific use in birth. You might be a close family or not. You and your birth-coach must work well together. You have grown adults who will have to be skilled to parent. Now is the time to become skilled to work through the activity of birthing your baby. You are already parenting. Your baby is here throughout pregnancy not just after birth.
• Verbal and non-verbal communication ...This PDF will elevate your teamwork skills. You'll learn what to do with your inner talk and outer communication. This goes for both of you and that is why your primary birth-coach absolutely must be a person who will continue to be in your baby's life.