Hello, let's talk about the calm part of the clear and calm modal. This is the part where you take different steps to receive feedback. So what are these steps? The first step is the consider step. This is where you put yourself into the position of the giver. Is the giver stressed?
Do you know and well enough to see what could be going on with him or her. Second part you need to keep in mind here is that the message doesn't always come across perfectly. Many of us have not been trained to give feedback. And you have to have the capacity to look a bit below the words what is really the message. Under the words you have to unpack the feedback. And the last point to keep in mind here is that sometimes you do not trust The Giver or you don't like the giver.
But again, under the person who says it, there might be an interesting message. So you have to actually keep the messenger and the message apart. The second point is awareness. And this is all about you. What is going on in you what emotions are being brought up? Can you recognize these emotions?
Can you name them? And even Can you sit with them? One of the things we like to talk about is the monkey. As you remember, you have the monkey and Einstein in your brain, if you can control that monkey, and if you can name that monkey, it's much easier to resist the impulse to act. The third part, if you can understand the other, understand yourself is listening. You have to listen you have to stay open to new information and you have to do that with confidence.
You have to look somebody in the eye you have to note you have to smile and you have to put the givers at ease. One of the things when you listen Is that it's very good if you can now then repeat back what is being said. Or if you can summarize what is being said, this shows that you're listening, and this shows respect. And the last thing is when you listen and when you have this dialogue, you have to take accountability. If you can listen, you can move to the last step, which is the minister. If you have the capability to listen well.
And to put together studies, you can find very interesting information. And you can start to ask information, because of the a lot of things you will hear will sound very one sided. Remember, you're only listening to one part of the story. And you also have your part of the story. And the best way to do that is asking questions, and you can use the clear part for that questions would be what is the purpose of the feedback? What do you want to achieve with this feedback?
Can you again Tell me what the behaviors were? Can you again, describe me the event? Can you give me certain examples? Can you tell me about the impact waters just happened. In this way you get into the discussion. And when you have a discussion, you are on your way to a solution.
Even if you think the feedback is not completely fair, it is safe to say that you usually have something to do with the situation and it is important that you take that responsibility and that you help the givers find a solution and move forward.