Okay, so we're working on developing the step number eight of English communication. We're boosting your English communication style, to make it more influential, persuasive, and motivational to whoever listens to you. We already learned the most powerful technique that I know that will allow you to connect, convince and conquer anyone that you talk to by following the three simple steps that we discussed. Remember, enter any situation and interaction with high value, mode and expectations. You should also focus on first entering the reading reality of the other person, before starting to talk about yourself and making the other person feel understood. Before going to the final step, which is invite people to your reality, connect their reality to yours.
We have also been learning how to apply the six weapons of influence into your communication style to make your English and your whole communication skills way more powerful. Now, let's put it all together. Right when you start applying these things, you'll notice a change in how people react to you. Now, don't get carried away. You are a special Valle vailable individual, but that doesn't mean that you're better than anyone else. If you start to Feeling or thinking this way, everything is lost.
People can perceive these kind of feelings in other people immediately. And we tend to create some sort of resistance to this. We never like to feel inferior to anyone else, right? So now let's talk about the concept of status. What's the status? Simply put, status is your relationship to others.
If you pay attention in the world, you'll see that some people feel as if they have a higher status than everyone else. And some other people feel as if they have an inferior or lower status to the person in front of these kinds of things are perceived immediately. When you start an interaction with that person. Right It will be very evident for you is the person you're talking with has a sense of higher status or lower status. You can detect these in many little cues that show up when people are talking to you, like their body language, facial expressions, tone of voice and intonation, the words they're using, the kind of comments they do when they're talking to you, etc. Now, the problem is that if you feel and consider yourself, like a person with a higher status than the person in front of you, you might seem a little arrogant, right?
A little showing off might be apparent in your personality and in your movements. And this tends to make people closest to you. On the other hand, if you feel as if you have a lower status than the person in front of you, people will not take you seriously. They won't pay attention to you Nor respect you. So what's the solution? Well, the solution is very simple.
Never, ever, no matter who you're talking with, feel as if you're superior or inferior to them. We're vailable thinking, feeling human beings, all of us, no matter our position, our social and economic status, our skills, our experiences, our families, nothing. The only thing that matters when we connect with people is that we're human beings think, feel when you take this seriously, that you will start connecting with people with a sense of equal status. That's the key equal status. So I hope you know where I'm going with this. What I'm saying here is that you should never ever brag or Show off about your skills or talents or who you are.
You should never try to impose your authority on others. And above all, you should never, ever make any comments with the purpose of demonstrating how special skilled, experienced or professional you are. Remember, these are the things that you need to transmit with your auctions with your interactions with people, let them figure it out for themselves without you telling them. On the other hand, you should never make self deprecating comments. You know what self deprecating comments are, don't you? These are comments such as, I'm sorry, my English is terrible.
Or, Oh, I'm sorry. I always make mistakes or I'm a little silly. I'm stupid. Never use self deprecating comments, respect yourself, like yourself and Other people will respect you, and like you. So you should approach all your human interactions from a place of equal status, not higher, and not lower. Now let's talk about some ways in which this sense and feeling of equal status manifests through everything you do and say.
When you know and feel and are convinced, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you have the same status as anyone else and everyone else around you, it manifests itself through your eye contact, right? You're not insecurely trying to hold the eye contact with the other person, nor are you looking elsewhere because you cannot concentrate in the person in front of you. manifests itself in your body language. You're not so close and rigid. But also you're not a circus monkey moving too much trying to get the attention desperately of the person in front of you. It also manifests itself through your tone of voice.
It's lively, it's fun, it's warm, it's human. It's not robotic, and fake, professional, nor Tuan friendly or friendly and informal, right? It manifests itself in the words you use in the quality of your structure, in the kind of comments that you decide to let the other person know. And one last tip about this issue of status. It's learned to recognize a good laugh and differentiate it completely from the bad laugh. I'm sure you will be able to recognize What I'm talking about when you're feeling connected, warm and with a sense of rapport with the person in front of you.
It is so natural to laugh. Even if the conversation you're having is not funny, it is normal and positive, to share a few laughs about anything that helps you connect and feel the sense of chemistry among you too. Let's learn also to differentiate and avoid the bad laugh. This is a laugh that you make when you're nervous. Right? Can you think of people that whenever you say something that kind of smiling with a low tone of voice they tell you?
Yeah, that's okay. Beware of laughing to break tension. That's the bad last. We love to break tension. It's never positive. It affects the perception that people have a feel when you laugh, because you're having a good time, and you feel so free, relaxed and connected to your environment, to the situation and to the people in front of you.
That laugh, creates miracles. So start paying attention to how and when you laugh, detect when you're laughing the bad laugh, and try to avoid it. There's nothing wrong with staying serious in a conversation. If there's no reason to laugh. Also, feel free and have give yourself permission to laugh anytime you want, when it's from a place of confidence, fun and excitement. Okay, so now it's time to work in this to start implementing it into your everyday life.
So let's do a little activity, shall we? So I would like you to imagine the person that intimidates you the most. It can be your boss, an employee, a colleague, a family member, a friend or an enemy. But the important thing is that you are clearly picturing this person in front of you. Now, if you do this, you'll notice how you actually start feeling the real thing as if this person was really in front of you. Now it's time for you to start focusing and paying attention to exactly what you feel.
I mean, of course, you're a little intimidated, but are you shaky? Are you sweaty in the hands? Are you anxious nervous? What words can you give to describe exactly how you feel in front of this person? Stay with this image and his feelings for a little bit and then come back. Got it?
Did you really start feeling this negative feelings in a real way? Now, put all that aside. Forget about this person and forget about these feelings. Now I want you to focus on the person that you feel the most comfortable with. Your husband, your wife, your girlfriend, boyfriend, best friend, brother, sister, father, mother, child, whatever it is. Choose one person with which you can feel completely comfortable every time you are around him or her.
Again, be sure this person in front of you very clearly. start noticing which emotions you start getting. Imagine this. Remember, be descriptive, be precise in how you describe how you feel. Now we're going to connect it. I want you to stay a little bit more with these feelings and with this image of the person you feel comfortable with in front of you.
Savor these feelings feel whatever is going through your body, through your mind, through your heart, as you're with these people. And this is a trick, stay with this image and blend into the picture the other person, that person that makes you feel intimidated. I want you to picture that person far away from you right now. And start noticing how he or she is starting to slowly walk towards you and towards the person in front of you. Good now, is that uncomfortable person walks towards you start noticing how or These negative feelings that he or she creates in you start evaporating. You are in a comfortable, safe space, you're talking to the person that makes you feel the most comfortable.
No one can affect that feeling that you have. So, as this uncomfortable person slowly approaches you, you can actually see how these negative emotions start flowing and floating away from you or from the person to the point that when this person is exactly in front of you next to the other person, everything is bright, everything is positive. You feel so excited now that you can feel this way in front of these two people that you can barely believe it. So I know this might feel a little woowoo a little strange to do for you. If it does, don't worry, try it, you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain. And with this, we come to the end of step number eight to purchase from your English.
By now you should be feeling much more confident, much more persuasive and influential when you're using your English. Meet me next time when we will discuss step number nine, how to flow in a creative conversation. My name is Jean and until then, I hope that you stay well.