Hi, and welcome to transform your English step number nine. We've gone a long way here, and we're almost finished. Let's add one final little refinement, one extra tool to your toolbox. Let's learn how to have creative conversation. So for this stage, let's focus on how you can talk about yourself in an interesting way, in a non braggy way, so that people can really hear you and get to know who you truly are, without being distracted by thoughts of Wow, this guy thinks that he's so cool. He thinks so highly about himself.

So, let's see how to talk about you in a powerful way. You're ready. How many times have you been bored in a conversation? By what I like to call me, Tucker? I'm sure you know exactly what I mean, right? Remember, step number eight, when we discussed this person at work that is always talking about his skills, his experiences, his talents, his special personality.

I'm sure you've met a lot of people like that in your life. And I really want you to think about how they make you feel. Are you excited and interested about meeting and discovering who these people are, or after a few minutes of talk, you kind of block them out of your Consciousness because there's nothing positive, there's no benefit for you. It's not fun to hear a person talking about how cool they are, is it? Now, think about a person you find fascinating. A person that, in your opinion, does amazing things, things, fantastic thoughts, leaves an amazing font crazy life and has a great set of talents that you would like to have.

I want you to start thinking and focusing about how this person communicates, how this person shares, these experiences, these talents, these activities and this life that he or she has. And I want you to focus on how they transmit this info information and how they make you feel So what's the difference between the guy in our first example, and the guy in the second example? If you listen deeply to what they're saying, and how they're saying it, you'll notice that the first person kind of has a need to demonstrate something that he has that he makes that he experienced. While the second one is living life to the fullest, actually, he or she is having so much fun in life. That they can't wait to share it with you. They can wait to talk to you about the travel they made about the new skill they're working on about the experience they have the other day.

Right. They are not trying to demonstrate anything, you they're just feeling line and when you feel life when you You feel excited, happy when you feel a strong emotions, the only thing you want to do is keep filling them, keep creating them, sharing them, not to brag, but to make another person's day more interesting, more exciting to teach them something to give them something useful as well. We're sharing the goods. I would like you to start paying a little bit more attention. Every time you feel this impulse to say something about yourself. Anything, a skill, and experience, a story, a plan, a project, a position, you have achievements you've gotten.

And if you discover that maybe you are trying to say this because you would like the acceptance of other people, because you would like their admiration or to capture their interest. Stop Go. Don't even say it. I know it can be difficult to let go some comments that you were about to say. But it is always better to stay quiet about yourself. If you honestly think that what you're saying has no special benefits or purpose other than just showing who you are.

The benefit of this is that the longer the time that people take to discover who you are or what you do, the bigger the impact, the surprise and the admiration they will feel for you. Let's say that you're director from your company, and you hold a very high position. Now, if you start talking to a person and you say, yeah, I'm the General Director of x company, they'll appreciate it possibly, but it won't cause any impact whatsoever. What if you start connecting with these people, and you create a deep connection, a great friendship, great rapport and chemistry with this other person, and they have no idea what exactly you do or where you work. And suddenly, one day after a few days of talking to this person after a few weeks or months of knowing this person, he or she suddenly discovers your higher rank position.

Imagine the amazement and the impact on the other person. Sometimes, however, it is necessary to talk about yourself. It is desirable, beneficial and positive. The key is to do it in a way that doesn't offend or close people to us. So let me give you some tips. But check this So tip number one.

Talk about yourself from a perspective of passion. Passion is contagious. Passion is interesting to people. Passion accelerates the heartbeat of people, when they see passion when they hear someone passionately talking about anything. Don't talk about yourself from a point of merit, or achievement, or talent or specialness. Pure passion is all you need to talk about every single detail of your life.

So, if you're a language teacher, if you teach French, and people ask you, what do you do, you can say, Well, I am a French teacher because I lived in France for several years. And I really studied French kind of languages are easy for me. I don't know why I was born with that natural talent of languages. So that's why I do because I'm really good at French. I've been in France I even practice French in Canada. So I know about the different accents and ways of using French.

And I became an expert a few years ago when I took a master's degree in language training. Fantastic. You're well prepared, right? But what am i failing when you tell me that? Not too much, or at least not too many positive things. So, if people ask you who you are, and you're truly deeply and honestly passionate about what you do, your answer could come out very differently.

You might say something like, well, something I love, and I have loved ever since I was a little boy was languages. I don't know why. Because nobody in my family speaks any other language apart from our first but ever since I started going to English classes. I In love with the language. And then I discovered that it was not the language I was loving. It was the capability of communicating with different people around the world, making different mouth noises.

I found that incredible that I can just make no noises with my mouth. And I am creating ideas and feelings and things go on in other person's head feelings when I'm talking. So I started learning French at a very young age. And that was a language that enabled me. I love how it sounds. I love the vocabulary.

I love French people in France in general. So that's my main focus. Many other people love French as well. So I love to help them speak better and get satisfied. I feel so excited when they're saying and speaking, pronouncing and thinking the language. So that's more or less Do now what do you think of French?

Have you ever learned French? How different is that? Can you feel my passion and you feel how I'm not trying to show you how great I am. I mean, I am translating. I am transmitting, I'm sorry, a great emotion and feeling when I'm talking to you. But not from a point of view of please look at me, accept me, consider me special.

Instead point of, I'm connecting with you and I'm such a passionate person that we can be passionate together. Tip number two, start becoming more aware of the things that you're good at and that you're passionate about. And also start thinking about the other things that you would like to Keep learning and finding new passions. So make a list of the things you love to do. And make another list of the things you would love to be able to do the things you would love to learn in the future. This way, on the one hand, you will be always aware and conscious of everything you're good at.

On the other hand, you're very conscious and aware about expanding yourself and your interests. Did number three, don't talk about your merits accomplishments or skills unless people ask you or only there's a very good reason for you to do so. And by now, you know that just showing how cool you are is not a good reason to mention them. Number four, be completely honest and open about your vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Think about this for a second. This is something not a lot of people do, right?

Some people waste too much energy, time, focus and attention in covering up their weaknesses in trying to hide them from you. But guess what? our weaknesses everybody can see except ourselves. So if we're using our time and mental energy to cover up for vulnerabilities and negative aspects of ourselves, we're wasting that energy and we're not using it in creative, positive things and conversations. Another side effect of this is that everybody will immediately know first, your witness second That you're trying to cover up your weakness. And the impact these will have on the perception people have on you is very negative.

I'm sure you can think of an example of a person that doesn't want to accept he or she is weak or vulnerable on in specific areas. But it's all every then for you and for everybody else, except maybe for themselves. So, accept and comment, at least one weakness or vulnerability. whenever it's relevant. Of course, don't be saying all the time how weak and vulnerable you are, of course not. But one or two relevant witnesses mentioned at the adequate time can be a very powerful tool to create connection, trust, chemistry and rapport.

Okay, so here are a few phrases that will help you talk about yourself in a positive and exciting and passionate way. Try to say things like, I really enjoy this. I am passionate about some of the things that I love to do the most are something I love doing on Sundays. One of the favorite aspects about what I do or about my job is my favorite thing in the world is and you can create your own there are many, many, many options. But notice how these expressions transmit my feelings about what I do my passion and excitement and not my skill and my need for approval. So if you're a manager for your company, and B People ask you what you do.

Try not to say things like, well, I direct a team of 100 people, I have a high authority and everybody listens to me. I am respected in my company. And I am ranked as a top three manager across the globe in my company. I earn the respect of my employees because I have a high degree of education. I studied in Harvard, and I had a master's degree in Yale, I have lived in Europe, also in the United States, of course, and across Latin America. people admire that.

And that's why I'm a manager, I can lead people, I have all the skills necessary to guide and fulfill all the tasks that need to be done. Cool jobs you have, but not a cool way of expressing it. Let's try a different way you can say so Something like, let's see, well, I really enjoy orchestrating work that different parts contribute to create a whole. Now this is more difficult than it seems. Because every person, every head is a world. And everybody wants to do their things their way.

So I found that I love to connect and talk to these people discover what they're trying to do and how they're trying to do and why they're doing that. And kind of take that and put it together in the whole picture. So in my team, we are 100 people all trying to work together all coordinating our efforts towards a common goal. I have so much fun. It's difficult. Don't get me wrong.

It's a very big challenge. But I love this challenge. I go to the office every day with a feeling of Alright, what are we going to accomplish today? So that's what I do. If you're a negotiator, you can say things like, yeah, I negotiate because I'm a strong person in terms of bargaining and negotiation. I have power over people.

I don't know why, but I can impose my will and get my desired results almost anytime. Forget this kind of talk and say things like, Well, one of the things I'm most passionate about is reaching mutual decisions with people achieving a win win result, no matter where I'm at. And negotiations are the perfect situation to apply this in an everyday shape. I love communicating making the other person understand and change his or her mind thinks of the interaction. We're having And I love the final result to reach a deal and an agreement that both him and I are completely satisfied and excited about. That's why I'm a negotiator.

Fantastic. So let's start applying it to your reality. I would like you to take care of piece of paper and start thinking about the things that make you favorable and special human being. Now, be honest here, you're not talking to anybody else except yourself. So don't worry about anything. Don't worry about appearing to brag in this case and just write what you consider you are passionate and good and they come least start appreciating what you do, what you learned, what you have practiced and what you have achieved in your life.

When you see this, give yourself a little love, a little victory. cognition. Little congratulations hog. Because if you give these things to yourself, you won't be asking it with your communication from anyone else. So go ahead and download the PDF file. Make your list, start reflecting on yourself and how you talk about yourself, and what can you do to start speaking about yourself in more powerful ways.

And I'll meet you back here for the next session. Until then, I hope that you stay well.