Hopefully by now you've been able to practice a few of these strategies. Remember, like working out, you must do them consistently. If you feel like you missed an opportunity to use something you've learned, or wish you could have reacted differently. Don't worry. One mistake won't be detrimental to your child. And remember, you're shooting for that 80% that 80% of the time to have that positive interaction, and 20% of time, you're not going to be perfect.

Okay? It takes a self awareness and practice and time to change. The next strategy. And probably one of my most favorite is given two choices. So often, there are times when we want our child, we want them to do something we want them to remember Look, or go get a shoes on or go potty. And we often ask him if he wants to do that thing.

Do you want to go potty? And of course, every single time his answer is going to be? No. So how do we get him to go potty without forcing him or, or begging him? This is a perfect opportunity to give two choices. You can say to your son, do you want to go potty with mommy or daddy?

He makes a quick choice, and you go with it. With given two choices, you make sure that both choices are acceptable. I don't care which one he chooses. He can choose either one. I'm cool with it. That way the child is having the feeling of total independence and freedom.

They're going to feel like they are in control. When in reality, we're in control because we're giving them the options. Now this is pretty Perfect for those young children age 123. But even for those children who are older four or five, six years old, will benefit from using two choices. This is a great opportunity for you to get them moving from point A to point B. Now, like I said, both options must be acceptable.

There's no negotiating, your child makes the choice and you go with it. So don't give them a choice you don't want them to have. Here's an example. You say do you do you want to do an apple or a snicker bar? And they choose snicker bar. And we negotiate?

Are you sure? I think you should have the apple I think actually, yeah, let's say what's your gonna think it's gonna think this is a bunch of baloney. Why do you give me two choices I don't get to choose. So instead, you would give them two acceptable choices. You want apple or banana. Now oftentimes, a kid might choose something that's not part of your choices.

And if it's in the same realm of of your two choices, you say apple or banana, they say orange. Cool, no problem. Here you go orange. That's right in the same kind of area of those other two choices. But you say Apple, or banana and they say, potato chips. Not really, it's not really part of that those options right now.

So maybe later but right now, these are your two options. So also with with giving two choices, no, it's not an option. I want my child to go potty. I say, do you want to go potty upstairs or downstairs? If your child says no, I don't need to go potty. While we're going, do you want to go upstairs or downstairs I'll give them another opportunity to make a choice.

If they don't make a choice, I choose for them. But upstairs So now oftentimes when you make the choice for them, guess what happens? they'll choose the opposite. No want to go downstairs. So, all right downstairs, we can remind them, Hey, remember, if I give you some choices, you have to choose that way I know what you want, given two choices helps us focus on the next activity. Your child has maybe maybe having that frustration level one, two or three.

You give them two quick choices, at least to the next thing. So maybe you're having difficulty getting your kid into the car seat, or maybe out of the car seat. You know that kid, right? So I'm going to be thinking, What's next? Well, I want my kid in the car seat. So I could say, hey, do you want to read books?

Or do you want to play with these toys once you're in your car seat? toy All right, hop on in, here we go. I get them into the car seat, and they got their toy. Now the kid is distracted. They're, they're on to the next activity. I said you could do this during the moment of frustration for your kid.

But absolutely, you can give two choices before any frustration. The last thing I'd say about giving two choices, that it avoids open ended questions. I do not ask a child, if they want to do something. If I really in my heart, I want them to do it. I will ask them open ended questions. If they like something.

Do you like pizza? Do you like to play outside? I don't care if they say yes or no. But if I want them to go potty, if I want them to take a bath, then either I need to tell them a direct instruction. Or I'm gonna give them two choices. If I asked them Do you want Take a bath.

I've lost all control once they say no. I have to beg them and say please, please, I think we should you're really? I Yeah, I think so. It'd be fun. I'll give you bubbles. Now I'm giving them more and more stuff.

Just start off. Hey, do you want to take pink bubble bath or blue bubble bath tonight? Blue? All right, I'll go get it ready. You got one minute. Last thing.

Don't overwhelm them with choices don't while making lunch. Do you want white better wheat bread, grapes or strawberries carrots are saved. Save these two choices for transitions. Or those moments when you can limit your demands. Less demands placed on the child, the more likely they'll fall through. Take time to practice this two choices method.

You are purposely slowing down your thought process to be more purposeful. I really need to get my kid off the iPad. What can I do? I could redirect, I could give two choices. You make an attempt. That's how you should be thinking instead of just verbal, diarrhea.

All done with the iPad, you put it down. All you need to turn it off, please, I want you to do a quick brainstorming session. Write down a few challenging transitions or, or routines you're currently dealing with. Under each one, list several choices, you could be given to your child. Okay, so maybe the head heading getting dressed. Choices could be Do you want mommy or daddy to help?

Do you want to wear this dress or this one? Do you want to get all dressed all by yourself? or help? Do you want two minutes or four minutes to get dressed? Fun right. I'll see you in the next lesson.